Friday, November 24, 2006

The Sim Family

I'm going to write about my family today....Something kinda happened in the last few days that I feel that I'm compelled to write about my family.

I'm was and am still brought up in a relatively big family. Oh no, my parents don't have tons of kids, unless you count 3 too much. My nuclear family has only 5, Dad, Mum, Joanne, Jackie and me. Dad has 9 siblings and we have lots of cousins. There are some that we're really close to. Here's a list of my family...Sorry, some people, can't really remember their names....and I prefer their pet names...sort of...and sometimes we use their real names for cousins who do not have pet names.

Brothers
Dad 1st brother - Uncle Steve, Ms Wong (don't know her real name, used to call her that till she married uncle Steve and she became aunty, prior to her was Aunty Serene who unfortunately passed on - 3 kids,Boy Kor (married Yong Lee), Lina (married Shawn) and Shana
Dad 2nd brother - Uncle Larry, Aunty Amy - 2 kids, E (married B) and Jolynn
Dad 3rd brother - Uncle Albert (passed on), Aunty Lucy - 3 kids, Ah Bee (married Dan), Xiao Di and Morgan who has 3 three kids, Marc, Jim and Sean, my favourite.
Dad 4th brother - Uncle Francis - 2 kids, Ian and Iva
Dad 5th brother - Uncle Eric - 2 kids, Rouling and Hong Peng
And then last is dad.

His Sisters (I don't know their names)
1st Sister, uncle - 2 kids, Ah Kiang (his wife), Ah Qiang (passed on)
2nd Sister, uncle- and errr....countless kids that i don't really remember their names.
3rd Sister, uncle (passed on)- 3 kids. Dad's third sister was given up for adoption as a kid. We sort of keep in contact but we're not very close though.
4th Sister, Uncle Ben- 3 kids, Zhi Xiang, Zhi Wie and Yi Wen.

Well, readers might be thinking...why is she boring us with these silly stuff. Just read on if you will. While we were growing up, my best childhood memories were living in Pandan Gardens when Uncle Albert and his family were just living next block and Lina and her family was about 15 mins away by car. We used to play and have so much fun. Uncles Steve, Larry and Albert were like my dads. I think one of the reasons why the Sim girls are relatively educated is because of the brainwashing that we went through as kids..."You girls must always have an education so that when the man walk out on you, you'll always have something to fall back on!" We heard this so so much to a point that we could memorise it! And most of the girls after getting married, we kept our maiden surname. I'm proud to be a Sim and I was born a Sim and I'm not talking someone else's surname.

Over the years, cousins played, grew up, went overseas either to Australia or States to study, we still remained close. Some went away, came back and stayed or left again. E and Jolynn lived in Manila when they were kids but every summer they would come back to Spore and we remained close. E even helped planned our honeymoon 4 years ago and Jolynn, is bringing my parents around in States. Then we started to work and some stayed in Spore, a few in America and me in HK. A few years ago, we lost Ah Qiang. It was heart wrenching to lose a cousin. Very painful. And then Uncle Albert had to go too. It hurt even more. A father figure left.

Well, just 2 days ago, mum told me that a cousin is sick. She has breast cancer in the early stages. She's someone that I grew up playing with. She's like my sister. Most of my cousins, we're close. We love each other. My heart somewhat cracked a little. Not sure how I can help since I'm kinda far from her. Even when Morgan's marriage fell apart, we rendered help. I love his kids. But this is far more serious. What can I do except to pray for her.

The Sims has always been rather close. Even though living in different countries, and even continents, we have always been there for each other. When the call for help comes, help will be there. I really hope that I won't lose another Sim. Cousin, if you're reading this post, this is for you. Be strong and will keep you in prayers. Love you!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

4th Wedding Anniversary

It's our wedding anniversary today. Today is our 4th! To be honest, I'm very proud to say that we have made it thus far. Counting the 4 years of wedded bliss, we have been together for 14 years. I thank God so much for providing WK. I can be a very difficult to live with....my family can attest to it. However, he has always been there for me. He supports my decision no matter how dumb or how bad my decisions can be. A very supportive husband. He stood by me when I decided that I was going to go to Sydney to do my masters and putting myself deep into debt. And when I decided to take up the job in HK, he stood by me knowing that we were going to be apart from each other. He took up the job in HK even though he knew that he's going to be out of his comfort zone but he did it all for me. He's the best!!! Babe...I llloooooovvvveeeeeee yyyooooouuuuuu!!!!!!

We don't take much pics but over the few years, I've made a conscious effort to take more pics of the both of us.

WK and me in Sydney. This was taken in April, 05. He came to visit me over Easter and it was nice to have him around. Thanks Babe for being supporting me when I was doing my masters...And I graduated with credit!! and all thanks to you, Babe!


This was taken on 1st April, Joanne's wedding....Yes, readers, me got fattened up by Babe. Joanne and Joe serving us tea. Reminded me so much of our wedding. Sorry folks, wedding pics in Spore. Maybe next year, I'll put up some wedding pics.

This was taken at Changi Aloha Bungalows. 2nd April, the part 2 of Joanne and Joe's wedding. Pic a little blurry but never mind....Babe still look as cute and handsome as ever.



Sept this year. Babe came over for a visit and to send in his employment papers and visa work. We were on the Star Ferry. Thanks Babe for the sacrifice of you coming over to work in HK. Means a great deal to me!



Babe and me at St Paul's Ruins in Macau. We went there in Oct to bring his parents around Macau.



Babe and me in Disney for my birthday. Babe is the best. He brought me to Disney for my birthday. He knows that Disney is my 'favouritest' place on earth! A year older but how cares, I've got my Babe!

Thanks Babe for the wonderful 14 years and we have more to come! You're the best!

Monday, November 20, 2006

My Favourite Hymns

Wake up this morning with It is Well with my Soul and when I was brushing my teeth and getting ready, Day by Day popped into my head...And err....blogging at work again...must blog before I lost my trail of thoughts.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way;
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
It is well...with my soul...
It is well, it is well, with my soul...

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well...with my soul...
It is well, it is well, with my soul...

He lives--oh, the bliss of this glorious thought;
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more.
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Oh my soul.It is well...with my soul...
It is well, it is well, with my soul...

And, Lord, haste the day when our faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trumpet shall sound, and the Lord shall descend;
Even so, it is well with my soul...
It is well...with my soul...
It is well, it is well, with my soul...

~~Horatio Gates Spafford, 1873

A Grief So Overwhelming The Heart Would Almost Break

In 1871, tragedy struck Chicago as fire ravaged the city. When it was all over, 300 people were dead and 100,000 were homeless. Horatio Gates Spafford was one of those who tried to help the people of the city get back on their feet. A lawyer who had invested much of his money into the downtown Chicago real estate, he'd lost a great deal to the fire. And his one son (he had four daughters) had died about the same time. Still, for two years Spafford--who was a friend of evangelist Dwight Moody--assisted the homeless, impoverished, and grief-stricken ruined by the fire.

After about two years of such work, Spafford and his family decided to take a vacation. They were to go to England to join Moody and Ira Sankey on one of their evangelistic crusades, then travel in Europe. Horatio Spafford was delayed by some business, but sent his family on ahead. He would catch up to them on the other side of the Atlantic.

Their ship, the Ville de Havre, never made it. Off Newfoundland, it collided with an English sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and sank within 20 minutes. Though Horatio's wife, Anna, was able to cling to a piece of floating wreckage (one of only 47 survivors among hundreds), their four daughters--Maggie, Tanetta, Annie, and Bessie--were killed. Horatio received a horrible telegram from his wife, only two words long: "saved alone."

Spafford boarded the next available ship to be near his grieving wife, and the two finally met up with Dwight Moody. "It is well," Spafford told him quietly. "The will of God be done."

Though reports vary as to when he did so, Spafford was led during those days of surely overwhelming grief to pen the words to one of the most beautiful hymns we know, beloved by Christians lowly and great. Though not yet (to my knowledge) in Catholic hymnals, it has long been a favorite of Baptists (and other evangelicals) including Martin Luther King.

Who can say what it is about life that leads us to such a peace ... like a river. Who can say what ingredients it takes, for this person or that, that transforms such overwhelming sadness into personal peace, or brings healing, or ... leads our souls to a new depth, or compassion. Langston spoke of his people, whose souls had grown .... deep .... like a river. Perhaps the answers lie in the heart. And for each one, whatever the answer is, it comes in a kind of poignant solitude unapproachable in any other way. I ask this, though I just don't know for sure.

Taken from http://www.geocities.com/cott1388/spafford.html


Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me
He Whose Name is Counselor and Pow’r
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promised land.

Karolina W. Sandell-Berg, 1865

I can't seem to find online why did Karolina W. Sandell-Berg write such a wonderful hymn. I love reading stories behind the hymns. These 2 hymns are my personal favourites, whenever I'm down, happy and whatever emotions that I have, these 2 songs always relate to me. If things can go so wrong for Horatio Gates Spafford and he can still write such a beautiful hymn, what else can I not go through that Jesus will be there for me. And if anyone of you know why Karolina W. Sandell-Berg wrote such a nice hymn, let me know.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

When Things Go Wrong

Went to church this morning and Pastor Watson preached on,'When Things Go Wrong'. I found the message very apt to my life. Especially now when I look back on my life. He mentioned that when things go wrong, go awry, it's God's way of getting us out of our comfort zone and bringing something better to us. I found it very true. It was as if God was speaking loud and clear to me. There were a couple of verses that he pointed out that struck me very much.

Proverbs 16:9 (New King James Version)
A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.

Proverbs 19:21 (New King James Version)
There are many plans in a man’s heart,
Nevertheless the LORD’s counsel—that will stand.

Romans 8:28 (New King James Version)
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,
to those who are the called according to His purpose.

In many ways, I've not forgiven my ex-boss for giving a bad appraisal that eventually lead me to resigning and me in HK right now. I still have anger towards him. Pastor Watson brought up a question, 'Have you been angry with a fellow Christian?' Of course, I've been. My ex-boss is a Christian. I sincerely pray that after this post, I will with the help of the Almighty, find it in my heart to let go of my anger and forgive him. Like Pastor Watson said, when things go wrong, awry, terrible and shitty, God always have a purpose. Let Romans 8:28, He has a purpose for those who love Him. And I strongly believe that I'm in a better place now with WK. We have a better quality of life, I have a lot less stress now and I've time to spend with WK and finally in a long time in my life, I'm at peace with myself. And yes, it's time to let go of my anger and animosity towards my ex-boss. And I forgive you and thanks for helping me make decisions that is giving me a better life.

When things go wrong,
I wonder why

When things go wrong,
I ask God why

When things go wrong
I keep on trying

When things go wrong,
I go on crying

When wondering stops,
God speaks

When asking stops
God whispers

When trying stops
God comforts

When crying stops
God directs

And I know,
God's purpose
Is Higher
Than Mine

And I know
God's hands
Is Around
Me tight

And I know
God is there
Always there
For me

And I know
He'll be there
Till the end
End of time

Ok, I know...not a very good poem....But readers, remember, that God has always a purpose. When things go wrong, God is there. He's the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He never fails us. I know for a fact.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Eelynn and Bruno's Wedding


In a couple of hours, E and B will be getting married. E is my cousin and I've known her ever since she was born. E lived in Spore till she was 3 and moved to Manila when Uncle Larry moved there to work. And she went off to States to do her Bachelor and then when she was doing her masters in San Francisco she met B. Mum and dad is attending their wedding. Such a shame that I can't make it. Wish I was there.
I wish them all the best and have a great marriage! Remember....a wedding is just a day and a marriage lasts a lifetime. B, welcome to the family! We love you!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My Spore Mobile Number is Still Working!!!!

Ya! WK called before flying out today to tell me that my Spore mobile number is still working. Apparently, he went to M1 and they manage to calm him down enough not for him not to terminate my line. It may not be a big deal to some but to me....my links are not getting cut off.....

WK is on the flight on his way back. It's funny how I tell people that WK has gone back to Spore for business...The 3 days apart from each other is good as I managed to meet up with the girls for dinner and also Simon for dinner last night. I'm going to meet him at the airport later. I've just realised that I probably can qualify for frequent miles to the airport on the airport train if there's such a scheme....I'm at airport, min, once a month...This month counting, today will be the 3rd time.

And Christmas is coming...I absolutely love love Christmas! Last Saturday, driving through Orchard and just seeing Christmas lights coming up, brought a warm and fuzzy feeling to me. Even in HK, Christmas decorations are coming up...Can't wait to be home for Christmas...It'll be nice to spend a meaningful occasion, the birth of Christ with family and friends.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The 5 People You Meet in Heaven

Cynthia wrote about this book in her blog. And I've been wanting to read this book for a while and I never got around to buying the book. On the way back from Spore, I bought this book. And I read it within a day. It's one of the books that I can't put down. Love Mitch Albom. His other book, Tuesdays with Morries got me thinking as well.

Not going to talk about the book...but rather the people that I would like to meet that have passed on before me. People that I really miss.

The first person that I really want to meet first is Grandpa. I miss Grandpa a lot. He passed on when I was 10 years old. He left a deep impact on me. I remember as a kid, we used to go to Grandpa's house for dinner on Sundays. Grandma would cook dinner and us kids would run wild. Sometimes he'll play these IQ puzzles with us. I want to tell Grandpa thanks for adopting mum and treating us like his own. I want to tell Grandpa that Grandma is fine and she misses him as well. And importantly, I've talked to Grandma and in a few years' time, she'll join him in heaven. Although, I would dread for that to happen.

The second person, Ah Gong. Ah Gong speaks only Hokkien or Teochew and I wonder what language will i converse with him? Maybe language will not be an issue then. First thing that I've to tell him is that I'm sorry for not sharing the gospel with him. When he was sick, very sick, I prayed for that his sufferings will end soon, but in that prayer, it was also that I'm praying for him to go as well. And he's not a Christian and of course, I shouldn't have prayed for that. When he passed on, I felt horrible. I was 18 when he passed on and I never once shared the gospel with him and now he's suffering in eternity.

The third person, Uncle Albert. I want to tell him that I'm really really sorry that I never shared the gospel with him. I'm sorry for not being able to give you the good news and for you to suffer now. Uncle Albert passed on about 2 years ago. He had cancer. I knew he was sick and I thought that I would be able somehow to get someone to share the gospel with him. But before I could do anything, I got a call from Monster while I was in Hong Kong holidaying that he had passed on. I felt horrible. It was like being punched in the stomach! Uncle Albert was like another dad to me. I spent heaps and heaps of time in his house and I never expected him to go without much of a warning.

The fourth person is Ah Qiang, or Randall as he called himself when he got older. He passed on in Mar 1999. My first cousin to pass on. I remember vividly been on the train going home when Jackie called me to tell me that he passed on. Of course, I was shocked! Apparently, he fell off a construction site. As kids, we spent heaps and heaps of time together. We spent our holidays together, playing together with Morgan, Monster and Sharon. It was so much fun then....But the sad bit, again, I never shared the gospel with him. And I wonder how is he now? Sometimes I wish that I don't believe in the concept of hell....But guess, that's not an option.

The last person that I would love to meet, is Adrian. Adrian and me share the same birthday. He was like an older brother that I never had. He was very encouraging and a nurturing leader. He passed on in Mar 2000, I think. He had a brain tumor. We used to hang out in church all the time. I want to ask him, how's things in heaven? Is he having fun? It was really hard knowing that Adrian was suffering so much before he passed on and when he did passed on, in some ways, I was glad that he's gone home to the Lord. I miss Adrian a lot. He was someone that I wanted to be at my wedding.

There you go, the 5 people that have passed on that I really want to meet. There are people in our lives that have made impacts, be it positive or negative. There are people that you really love and can't imagine life without them. And there are people in our lives that we don't even know that have impacts on us. In every phrase of my life, I've met people that have become very very dear to me. It's almost like God has placed them in my life for a purpose. So readers, (if I've any at all...) in my comments' part, write the 5 people that have passed on that you'll really want to meet again. Even just for another glimpse....

Monday, November 13, 2006

3rd Month in HK

Had dinner with the girls tonight. It was good catching up with Colleen, Michelle and Nicole and we even met Corrine in the restaurant. And if you're wondering, they're all my NET friends. Funny, thinking that when I was working in Spore, I hardly seem to have time to meet my friends for dinners, and especially on a week night. Although it did remind me of the days when I used to meet Eve for week night dinners when we were in Sydney last year.

My 3rd month in Hong Kong, is Hong Kong becoming my home? I really don't know. Was talking to Matt yesterday (one of our close friends in church) and I mentioned something like I'm going back home to Hong Kong tonight. And I caught myself saying that and Matt was laughing and smiling, so HK is now home? To be honest, I don't know. I had an issue with M1, my Spore mobile phone subscriber and well, I've terminated my line with them. I felt terrible, it seemed to me that I'm cutting off one of my links to Spore. And soon, the car will be going and that's another link gone and then maybe the flat. And then, what will Spore be to me? It was hard for me to cut off the phone line with M1 and WK couldn't really understand why. Well, maybe it's mine emotional attachment to it. Now that WK is also working in HK, I really don't see me going home that often other than for the special occasions.

Spore will always be home to me, it's why my family and friends are. But in some ways, Hong Kong is becoming like my home too. Yes, I was sad to leave Spore. But when I was on the plane, I couldn't wait to get home to Hong Kong. Not sure, if you can relate to this 'I've 2 homes' kinda thing. The last time that I had this feeling was about 10 years ago when I was doing my undergrad in Gold Coast. Maybe this time the feeling is more prevalent as WK is in HK with me and we're not really sure how long we're going to be working in Hong Kong.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Weekend in Singapore

Back in Hong Kong now. Had a good weekend in Singapore. It was like a whirlwind trip.

Fri nite
10.30 pm - touched down, met Stanley

Sat
8 am - Breakfast with Aunty Sue
10.30 - Eve called from San Diego
11- 2.30 pm - Ex-colleagues came over for lunch
4.30 - 5.30 - Tea with Pat
7- 8.30 - Dinner with family
9.30 - 10.15 - Sent WK's aunties to the airport
10.30 - 11.30 - Met up with Angie, Ariel and Wan Ling at Scouts camp

Sun
9- 10.30 - church
11.30- 1.30 - Lunch with WK, Mum, Joanne, Joe and Stephen
1.45- 2.30 - airport

My weekend, met and touch base with most of the people that I miss. Even touched base with Eve. It was nice of her to call. Such a waste that I missed Monster, she was away for the weekend.

Was at church and was listening to Pastor's message and he said something that struck me. He was telling an analogy of how some people view their jobs. Here is his analogy.

Three men were building a cathedral. The first man that was asked what he was doing, his reply was, he was laying bricks on top of each other. The next man was asked what he was doing, his reply was, he was building a wall. The third man was asked what he was doing, and he reply was, he was building a cathedral. 3 men, 3 answers that showed their attitudes towards work.

That got me thinking about my job. Am I someone that just goes in to the class to teach English? Or am I someone that is going to make a difference to a child and nurture that child. It's something to ponder about.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Timing

In 48 hours, I'll be back in Spore for the weekend. I'm feeling hungry just thinking about eating all the yummy food! Can't wait to see my family and friends and EAT with them. All i can think about is food.....

God has been very good to us. Can't thank Him enough. Yesterday, WK called while I was at work telling me that he might have to go back to Spore mid next week for work and he'll probably be travelling a lot this month back to Spore. And I was thinking, that's fine with me, gives me time to go to the gym, meet up with my friends and give me some 'me time'. Then in about 15 mins' time, he told me that he's heading home this weekend with me on the same flight. He told his boss that I was heading home and so his boss thought, might as well send him back earlier for the weekend and let him start work on Monday. It came as a pleasant surprise. WK has been talking about wanting to head home with me and then out of the blue, this came...Saved us quite a bit of money.

Had my lesson observation today. It was an appraisal time as well. In a way, this lesson observation is a lot more serious than what I'm used to. Had the TA in the classroom, he videotaped my entire lesson. My boss observed, and two other colleagues. The funny bit, my boss who is appraising me, is normally my co-teacher. She helped me pick the class for my lesson observation. She even warned her students in advance to behave and even prepared them in advance. It is very nice to know that she put in so much effort for me. Even when we were having a debrief, she was very encouraging. I'm very thankful for having such a nice boss.

I'm learning to enjoy my life, my ups and downs, disappointments and pleasant surprises. Take life as it is. God will always provide. I'm at the point in life that God will provide me with whatever that I need in His time.

In His time, In His Time
He makes all things beautiful
In His time
Lord, please show me everyday
That You'll do just what You say
In Your time,

In Your time, In Your time
You make all things beautiful
In Your time,
Lord, my life to you I bring
That each song I have to sing
Be to you a lovely thing
In your time.

Ok, sorry folks, can't really remember all the words to the song. I remember at my wedding, 4 girls from church sang this song. And this song is very apt to us at that point when we were getting married. We dated for 10 years and we believed that it was God's timing that things were right and He led us to a marriage. I strongly believe that if we did get married earlier...the marriage would be much difficult. God has a perfect timing for everything, He makes no mistakes. To me, it can be as simple as an air ticket and a flight home and I know for sure that it's not just a coincident but rather....'In His Time'

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Life Part 3

Ha...And i wrote that I didn't plan to have a part 2 on life and now, I've a part 3....Things comes in 3s, you know? Like Lord of the Rings, you need a trilogy....

Anyway, yes, I''m blogging from work. I need to blog before I lose my train of thoughts. Blog while thoughts and notions are still fresh in my head.

Every morning, my mobile will go off around 7.15 in the morning. And I'll hit the snooze button and 5 mins later, it'll go off again and again, I'll hit the snooze button. It's like a routine or ritual that I have every morning. Actually I set my alarm earlier so that I have time to snooze. And this morning, freaking horror of horrors...In the midst of me hitting my snooze button, my brand new, swanky mobile (the reason why I'm turning broke soon) slipped through the crack between my bed and the wall. And I'm like what??? This can't be happening to me...My precious 5 mins snooze time...Shit...So I've got to get out of bed, move dressing table and then pull bed out and then retrieve my mobile. WK heard the din while he was in the bathroom and came out to see what was happening. After I got my mobile, I went right back into bed...2 more mins of snoozing. He was like....can't believe that you're crashing back into bed.....

While I was washing up and getting ready, I had time to think and reflect. What if there's a button in life and allows me to press snooze and that'll allow me to take a pause me in life to rest and snooze or like what Monster Cousie wrote, a reset button on life. Wouldn't that be great if we had those buttons in life? Yes, readers, I turning freaking philosophical again. Think it's the bloody time of the month or the deprivation of nasi lemak and chee kuah and chee cheong fun and whatever that making me philosophical....

Aren't there times in your life that you wish you had those snooze or reset buttons? I really wish I can do a snooze button in my life at times. Maybe that's why I love my snooze button every morning. I've always been working hard at something in my life and there are times that I just want to take 3 months or so from my life to pause, snooze and take stock of my life. Have you realise that when stores do their stock taking, they close the stores? Yes, sometimes I feel that I need to stop whatever that I'm doing and take stock of my life.

What about the reset button? There are times when I wish that I've a rewind button so that I can rewind the situation and re-live the situation again so that I can make a different decision. I remember feeling that way a lot when I was living in Sydney doing my Masters. I was pretty poor then and it was hard, really hard. I had to eat a huge chunk of the humble pie by working as a checkout chick at Woolies. I was so used to earning pretty decent amount of money and then I was reduced to working at Woolies and also counting my pennies and making sure that I have enough for rent and food every month. It was that times that I wish that I didn't go to Sydney to do my masters and accepted the job in HK and live it up. There were many nights that I lay in bed thinking about the reset button. But now, I'm glad that I finished my masters. It made me stronger....very much stronger and I've learnt to trust in the Almighty for providing for me. It's not easy, have to say that. Well, I'm still bloody paying my study loan now.....It won't end for another 2 or 3 years, I guess.....

I remember being asked this question, 'What is one thing in your life that you want to change?' When I was asked this question, I was feeling rather low and I was told to have a think about it before answering.....And my answer was and is still, 'Nothing'. Life is very hard, harsh, brutal, a bitch and whatever but on the other hand, life brings joy, gladness, cheerfulness and a whole bunch of positives.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Life Part 2

I didn't really intend to have a part 2 on life....But well, world news....Last night, I was watching news and Saddam is sentenced to death. And this was the conversation that WK and me had.

WK: That bastard doesn't deserve death.
Me: Why not? He took so many lives and he was a tyrant.
WK: Well, I mean that death is too easy for him, he should have life imprisonment.
Me: Death is better, he'll go right to hell.
WK: That's what I mean....Let him rot in prison for the rest of his life and then when he dies, he'll go to hell.

Hmm...that was a good idea. Well, to me, it has always been, well, he deserves death, hang him and rot him to death....Easy way out.

Today, on news, Ram Tiwary, the guy that murdered his 2 flatmates in Sydney got life imprisonment without parole. (Err....this is one of the reasons why I rather starve and live alone....I might drive someone mad enough to kill me!) Life imprisonment without parole, that basically gives him no hope.

Well, between Saddam and Ram, I think Saddam got the easier way out. I agree with WK on that. Having said that, I truly wonder what pushes a person to take another person's life, sorry, not just one life, rather more than one life....And is it right to take away the life of the murderer as well. Is life that cheap?

I remember when I was in Sydney, there was this Sporean couple who decided to poison their kids and take their own lives. But plans went awry and after they poisoned their kids' they panick and sent the kids to hospital. My initial thought was...gee...kill yourselves and leave the kids' alone and what rights do you have to take your kids' lives too? It was later that it sank in that maybe, parents were worried for their kids after they take their lives.

I know this sounds harsh, but I truly do not have respect for people who take their own lives. I mean isn't it an easy way out of life and then leave loved ones to clean up? But then again, I know what it is like to want to end it all. Don't worry, I'm not in depression. But I've had suicidal thoughts and it comes and goes all the time, especially when things get tough...I wish I can go home to the Lord. But no, I'll be strong and fight it and treasure my life.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Life

I went to the supermarket to get some stuff for dinner. The wonderful thing about HK, everything is as fresh as it gets. Even at the supermarket. I bought a pomfret to steam for dinner. Well, the pomfret was still swimming in the tank and I pointed to the lady the one I wanted and then....Flounder got scooped out and with a whack or 2 and then descaled and in less than 5 mins, Flounder was passed to me....Dead.....

Yesterday I read Cousie's blog and well, she's not in the best of her spirits....She's one one of the dearest and closest persons to me. Cousie's blog http://www.sheylara.com/ Of course, I'm concern....Cousie is not going through an easy time. Have a feeling that it runs in the Sim family...Know of other cousies that emotions go a little crazy...and that includes me, of course. In a way, I'm not too worried for Cousie as I know that she'll pull through. We always pull through and we emerge stronger and it's like my motto...we'll be like phoenix that emerges from the ashes

But I know that it's hard...Fucking hard to be honest. It's not easy waking up and like, I just want to stay in bed all day...Take away the sunshine...or when will I see the light at the end of the freaking tunnel....And then I'll think of Annie, the orphan


The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!
But what if tomorrow doesn't come? And what if tomorrow comes and it's worse than yesterday, the day before and today...and tomorrow becomes sorrow? The last I felt this way was when I just came back from Sydney and it took time and lots of patience and love from everyone. And Cousie, maybe tomorrow maybe sorrow....but there'll be one tomorrow that will bring you joy. And I've come to learn that only the cowards take the easy way out to not live any more tomorrows...Even though there are heaps and heaps of time that I wish I could not have anymore tomorrows.
For people who are always happy....and never felt what's it like to be in the dumps....Thank God for that...But for those that know and can feel what I'm talking about....You're not alone but at the same time, you don't want people to surround you and when you're ready, you're going to be the phoenix that emerges.....Yes, tomorrow may bring sorrow but there'll be one tomorrow that'll bring joy, happiness, gladness, bliss, ecstasy, cheerfulness, exhilaration, cheerfulness. glee, elation and delight. Yes, I cheated....I looked up the thesaurus.....And Cousie, I love you heaps!