Living out Faith

So last night I received a phone call with news that could be the best news or the saddest news in the last three years pending on the decision that's going to be made. I went to bed with a very heavy heart knowing that the possibility of the outcome. It's the outcome that would probably make me really sad. I lay in bed questioning God why did you allow that phone call to come through and get me all excited thinking that my prayers have been answered only to realize the reality that the excitement can be soon extinguished by sadness. And as I lay, I began to cry out to God, it was pretty heart wrenching to a certain extent because I wasn't able to pour out my soul to Babe because he's away on a mission trip which I'm incredibly proud of. But that's another story altogether. And as I pour out my soul, I heard God speak in a small and gentle voice. He told me to trust and have faith in Him. And yet again, it's really hard. I'm not going to deny that it...

I just turned a day older. How do I feel? Honestly, I've got mixed feelings. Well, probably I've mentioned many times, I don't like the process of aging at all. I detest it to the point that I wouldn't be even able to describe it! But on the other hand, I'm learning to be really grateful. Actually, I am beyond grateful, blessed and humbled. Yes, that's what I am. I'm truly grateful, blessed and humbled when I look at my life. I married my best friend. Coming this November, it would be our 11th wedding anniversary and adding on 10 years of dating prior to that, I've known Babe for more than my life time. There's nothing that I want to change about Babe! Every morning when I wake up next to him. I can't believe that God has given Babe to me! I've got the most beautiful, lovable, adorable and the best son in the entire world. Every morning, I can hear him playing, being ever cheerful and bouncing into our room to give us morning kisses. On n...

So....one week or so after my last post, I almost hit rock bottom. I thought I really almost lost the single thing that I love the most. But the reality is that, I didn't realize or rather was oblivious to what was going on or maybe I was so self absorbed that I didn't realize that the very thing I love the most was in the danger of floating away. So when shit almost hit the fan, I realized one thing, it's almost always that not the danger that kills you but rather the panic. And so, I realized that I've to sit down to think through my thoughts, work through them, listen and speak and most importantly, have trust that God will pull me through. So I prayed, gathered my thoughts, listened and spoke and yes, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I've become stronger and realized that it's not always about me. That's the reality of life. But what matters to me then? It's my family. It's Babe and little Baba. Take whatever you want to take but...

When we were preparing for little Baba's birthday, I noticed that Jojo had a phobia of balloons. She didn't want to be near the balloons and she was basically almost in tears with the balloons. As I probed further and asked more questions, she was afraid not of the balloons themselves but rather them floating away. When looking at her fear, I realized that it's with the most of us. We're not afraid of certain things in itself. And honestly, she loves balloons when they are not filled with helium! So what are our fears? Is it the thought of losing the very thing that we love so much because we're afraid that it might float away from our very hands? That's what I'm sort of facing now. I'm very afraid of things floating away. But I don't want to love them too much and grab them too tightly that they burst in my face. Neither do I want to let them go. So what do I do now? I really don't know. I hate it when things are in my hands and within reach...

So we're almost at the end of summer holidays. This summer has been amazing! Let me repeat, amazing! I had 7 weeks of holidays and only had to turn up at work for 2 days. Just 2 days! Anyway, it's been a good summer. So summer started with a flight to London and then flight to Bologna, train to Florence, train to Lake Como, train to Milan, train to Verona, train to Milan and finally flight back to HK. The trip was superb, fabulous, amazing, wonderful, incredible, marvelous, and well, you get it. I had the best time with Eve. Totally the best time. Even though we've not seen each other for two years, it didn't matter as we just picked up where we left off. She was just the best travel partner. We did everything that we wanted to do and see. Eve tried to show me everything in London. Italy was way beyond expectations! The food was so so good. Let's just say that we never had a bad meal at all! The sights, oh mine! I loved the architecture, the nature and just everyt...

I'm just about twenty-four hours away from checking in at the airport. As cliche as it can sound, time flies when you are having fun! I can't believe that the academic year is just steps away from ending. And soon little Baba is going to be another year older. It has been overall a great year. So I started the academic year at a new school after working in the last six years. It's almost first time in my working life that I joined everyone in commuting to work. It takes me an hour from door to door to work and then there's this stairs that's more than 150 steps to climb once I get out of the train station. In the beginning, I tried taking the train and then climbing the steps like everyone else and then, I gave up! These days, I cab it to work. The students that I teach now, more than two thirds in every class come from broken families. Less than ten percent has ever been in a airplane. And when my students find out that my lunch costs more than HK50, they give me...

A couple of girlfriends told me over dinners on different occasions that how they used to be close to their sisters but over time living in different countries, they aren't as close as before. And even Babe's brother, well, the brothers aren't even close to be begin with and it's even worse now as his brother at times seems more like an acquaintance than family. And I started to think about my sisters. When we were going up, due to situations and circumstances over the growing up years, we were very close. I was and am still rather protective of sisters. In some ways, being the eldest in the family, I sometimes and actually quite often become the mother hen and want the best for my sisters. In my teens, I would bring my sisters out with my friends, well, not really my friends since we grew up in the same church. Sometimes, I would give my sisters advice or pass certain comments but it's all done in love. Sure, once in a while, we don't see eye to eye and there...