Living out Faith

Jo Meimei arrived about a week ago and of course, I'm all excited to be aunty again. But at the same time, I'm bummed that once again, I won't see her grow up. When little Jojo arrived, I was almost in Spore once every month because Babe was living in Spore at that time so to a certain extent, I did see her grow up. It's these times that I wonder if it is time to head back to Spore for good. I don't want to miss out on Jojo and Jo Meimei. Since Baba is probably going to be the only child, I want him to get to know his cousins and be close to them. I miss home at times. I know even though I've lived overseas for more than a quarter of my life, I still miss home once in a while. I know Babe misses home too. His family has been through some tough times. His grandma and aunty went to heaven last year and we just got news that his other aunty is in stage 4 cancer. A couple of weeks ago, Stanley, my bestie, who has moved to San Francisco asked when do we think we...

A few years ago on a stormy morning, as I was getting ready for work, I looked out of my window and with a heavy heart, I asked God, 'Dear God, I know that you want us to adopt a child. But honestly, this journey is getting very long and hard. Maybe we heard wrong?' And God spoke to me with this song. When the oceans rise and thunders roar I will soar with You above the storm Father you are King over the flood I will be still, know You are God Straightaway, I felt so much better. During that time, it was a rather difficult period for Babe and me. Babe was headed back to Singapore for work and I was in Hong Kong. And it was that time that I really questioned God's direction for us. Are we meant to stay in Hong Kong, what about adoption and are we meant to make our own kid? There were these thoughts running through my head and Babe was having eye issues in Singapore too. That very morning, all I wanted to do was to crawl right into bed and curl up in a fetal position f...

So I have to agree that parenthood is difficult. Yes, very difficult and it does stuff to marriages that you'll never expect. A couple of years ago, I heard a pastor say that married with no kids is not really married. It's like going on a extended courtship. I wasn't sure if I bought that. We didn't have Baba at that time And so we had little Baba and then the marriage took a different dimension. And honestly, he was right. Babe and I have different ideas about parenting because obviously we were raised differently. Then we are of differently personalities and we have different views on stuff. Yes, in general parenting can be hard. Then you have the mix of the extended family pitching in with ideas of how to raise little Baba and then we start entertaining these ideas and then we argue about it and you get the picture. And then I've got to pause and stop and ask myself am I doing this or whatever the argument is for myself or for Baba. Then I realised that both...