Living out Faith

 As a child, I've always loved Christmas. Growing up, my parents used to throw these massive Christmas parties and the extended family and friends would all be invited. Dad would busy himself in the kitchen cooking up a storm and by lunchtime, people would arrive and gather around the table. I've always loved those parties. It was a time to catch up with my cousins while the uncles and aunties chat. From our old flat at Pandas Gardens, we continued that tradition when we moved to Woodlands. When I went to Australia to study, one of the highlights of heading home for summer was yes, Christmas party. Even when I got married, yes, the Christmas party. Then we moved to Hong Kong in 2006, twenty years ago and things changed a little. Initially we headed home very often for both Christmas and Chinese New Year but that meant that we had less options to travel. When BaWa were younger we did both festivals at Singapore but over time, we decided to stop going home for Christmas primaril...

For the longest time I struggle with depression. I've never been clinically diagnosed. My mum was clinically depressed for a long time. She probably had depression in most of my childhood and teenhood. It was something that I grew up with. I guess in some ways, it affected me. Growing up, I've always told myself that I will fight this depression and not let it get to me. To a certain extent, I think depression is a selfish disease. Depression ignores the rest of the world but just focuses on that one patient leaving the people around the patient to suffer. I've always had my dad to look up to and in all the craziness that he's been through, he pulled through life. I think the moment dad passed on, I felt the rug being pulled out from under me. It's like the one person who sheltered me through really hard times is now gone. Over the years, I've always been able to tell myself that, what does not kill me, makes me stronger. Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche. But over t...

It's been more than ten years since I've written anything on my blog. But so much has happened so far and I needed an outlet to write and so I decided to revive my blog. This blog is not going to be about my family, the boys, the Handsome Hero but rather, it would be about me trying to live out faith and yes, it is hard. On 5th of December, 2025, I received the worst news ever when at work. Dad went home to the Lord. The next few hours went in a blur. Before I got news that dad was going to heaven, mum called the Handsome Hero to let him know that Dad had days left and the Handsome Hero called me and I had to work out the logistics of getting time off from work and then booking flights. Not long after I booked my flights, yes, news came that dad was welcomed at the gates of heaven. The next few hours at work was pretty much in a blur. Then got home, packed and off to the airport with the family. We caught the red eye flight. I barely got any sleep. Eyes were red from crying. To...

So there are days that I want to blog and I stop because mainly, there's just too much in my head that I want to write. And honestly, I don't even know how to categorize it. Is it family, life, my spiritual walk, my boys? Then, I tell myself, I'll write another day and then another day passes and again, I'm filled with more thoughts. But then again, this is my blog. I'm not even sure if I've got readers. So I'm going to write my thoughts and yes it may be jumbled up but I don't care. A while ago, Babe was close to being placed in a job that would have seen us move to a third world country in the region. If anyone asked me to move to give up my job in HK and move to a third world country a few years ago, I would say a definite no because I'm in my comfort zone. I like what my salary brings me every month. I love the fact that I've finally built up a family base in HK and HK has pretty much become my home. But when the news came of a possible m...

So, I know that I'm a little late in writing this post. There's just way too much stuff to do and too little time. So since I last wrote, we went back to Singapore for a weekend in late Oct/early Nov to celebrate Wawa's birthday and to show him to the family. It was our first time flying with him and I was kinda worried how are we going to deal with 2 kids on the flight. But the sons were awesome! It was a good flight. Nothing major happened. Got to the serviced apartment and we had a blast. Too short a trip but nonetheless it was great as usual. Yes, there's a whale on his cake! A reminder to Wawa to always obey God so that he will not be swallowed by the whale. November rolled along and it was our 12th wedding anniversary. Truth be told, a marriage is never easy. Yes, never. There's always a lot of work to do. Before kids, our marriage was much simpler. Well, there were stuff to argue but there were no kids to argue about. Then throw in one kid and the...

Yes, so finally I can write what's been in my head and heart for the past couple of months. The past year has been a series of roller coaster rides. It was hard to hold my faith and trust that God will ride it out with us. There were times that I've wanted to really shake my fists at God. And I admit that the temptation to stop going to church and stop believing in what I'm meant to believe was very great. But yesterday at church just before the service ended and the worship band played this song, I know that deep down, I worship a faithful God. Amazed You dance over me While I am unaware You sing all around But I never hear the sound Lord, I'm amazed by You Lord, I'm amazed by You Lord, I'm amazed by You How You love me You paint the morning sky With miracles in mind My hope will always stand For You hold me in Your hand Lord, I'm amazed by You Lord, I'm amazed by You Lord, I'm amazed by You How You love me Lord, I'm amazed by You Lord, I...