Have a Little Faith

Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom is the latest book that I've read. I've read almost all of Mitch Albom's books. Each of his book has left a deep impression on me. When this book came out, I hesitated a little not knowing if I should read. I seriously don't want some author to shake my faith. Excuse the pun.

So last Saturday while waiting for Babe at a shopping mall, I came across this book in a bookstore and it was screaming out, buy me! Plus, it was 20 percent off. Who can resist a good deal. So well, I bought and read it. A writer asked to write his rabbi's eulogy and his experiences with a inner city church in Detroit and the pastor of the church. I don't care what people say but I do look at Judaism with respect not putting down Jews or persecuting them because it is written in the bible that they are the chosen people, God's people. So when I read the book, I read it carefully understanding what the rabbi and I was almost in awe of this man. He put some stuff in perspective. And I was even more blown away by the pastor in Detroit. He had a sinful past but he made a 180 degrees turn around and he strongly believes that God placed him to work amongst the poor and like God not turning His back on the pastor, he never turned his back on his congregation no matter how difficult it gets and no matter how cold the church becomes because of the lack of heating.

Every day, it becomes more apparent to me that God is working in me that ways I never really know. Each time when my faith begins to wane or is tested or when I find myself giving up, God sends little signs to me. After reading the book, I was left with the thought that yes, have a little faith that God will see us through everything. He has provided everything thus far. Well, not just everything but beyond everything. So why should I question Him?

A couple of weeks ago when I was in church I heard this saying, 'God is always on time but if He could be earlier, it'll be great.' Yes, it'll be great. But that's in our humanistic point of view. I often wonder if things would have been different if Babe and I got married earlier. Would we have in the same place as we are now? Or would we be divorced and bitter? Yes, God's timing is perfect. For the longest time, I've been praying for the child that we've been praying for be matched to us. To date, this has been our longest prayer request. A few weeks ago, it hit me. God was trying to tell me that He knows that we were not ready. And I began to see why. Yes, the truth is that we were not ready. More specifically, we were not ready to be parents spiritually. And God was moulding and convicting us to be better Christians so that we can be better parents to bring up our children in His love and guidance. And we He knows that we are ready, our child will be matched to us.

So there you go, the wait is not in vain. Nothing is ever in vain because I know the person that held yesterday and holds today and tomorrow is the person that is holding our hands throughout our journey and in His time, He will make all things beautiful. Call me an optimist but I don't care because my hope is in God!

Stars

The interesting bit about living in Hong Kong is that there are days that one can go shopping or have a meal and go past a singer, actor or actress. I've seen a couple of them when I was out shopping and more recently, a couple of them in church. Well, no no.....I didn't pull out my little book and ask for an autograph. Number 1, sometimes, I don't really know who they are until someone mentions them to me. Number 2, I'm seldom starstruck. Quite seldom except for a couple of celebrities.

There are probably only 2 cantopop singers that I actually like and would buy their CDs. Well, one of them decided to jump down and end his life. And the other, was someone that was seated behind me in church yesterday. I didn't notice her until I turn around to pass her the offering pot. And when the service ended, I turned around again to stretch, and it was then that it hit, oh yes, it's her. No, I didn't shout, scream or stare at her in awe or anything like that. I won't even mention her name. I respect her privacy because I'm certain she wants to remain anonymous so that she can go worship God in peace. And yes, she does have a stunning voice.

When I went home, I googled her and read about her testimony. Apparently she went into depression and it was in her depression that God reached out to her and she felt a great change in her life. She went on to produce a gospel pop album and her concert was aptly named, Faith. Boy, do I love her even more now! But what really blew me away was that in the clips that I watched of her concert, she proudly sang and gave glory to God. She wasn't ashamed of her beliefs and she literally stood on the pedestal and shout out to the people of God's goodness and love.

God does use people in different ways. Yes, she may have a past. Who doesn't have a past? She may still make mistakes, who doesn't? But she loves Jesus and she isn't ashamed to show it. She turned up in church in really normal clothes, nothing flamboyant, no bodyguards and probably even no makeup. She just wanted to worship God. I reflected and wonder, what's my attitude in worship? What's my attitude on Sundays? Am I there to worship and praise my maker or am I there to present him with my list of wants for the week? Points to ponder.

Issac and Goliath

Yes, you read it correctly, it's Issac and Goliath and not David and Goliath. A couple days ago, Josiah, a childhood friend of mine from my home church in Singapore wrote this on his facebook's status,' Before you ask God to help slay your Goliaths, sacrifice your Issacs on the alter.'

I mulled over what he wrote for a couple of days and I was almost blown away. Isn't that true? We want God to take away our tests, trials and tribulations which are our Goliaths but at the same time are we willing to sacrifice our Issacs? I always love the story of Isaac. Abraham and Sarah prayed for years and years for a child and it was when the both of them were past 100 years old that Isaac was born. When God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, he brought Isaac to the alter. I'm sure on the way to the alter, Abraham must have fought an internal battle with himself. But when it came to the crunch, he was willing to put Isaac on the alter. His only son and God promised him that he'll have as many children as the stars in the sky. What must have gone through his head when he laid Isaac on the alter. But his willingness to sacrifice Isaac gave him much blessings later on in his life.

Its the same story with Hannah. She prayed and pray for a child and she told God that she will return him back to Him. And true enough, she conceived a child and then when it was time, she brought Samuel back to God and Samuel grew up to be a great man of God and Hannah was blessed with more kids.

The question I had in my mind, would I be really willing to sacrifice the one thing that I love to have my Goliaths slayed? Recently, we we posed with such a question. Would we be willing to give up money, most specifically, one income so that we can both be in the same country? We prayed and asked God for His direction and the answer was clear. Give up that one income. We obeyed and did. And now, we are seeing His blessings upon us. I'll write about it in time to come.

Thanks Josiah for putting that up on your status. Brought a nice and gentle reminder to me.

When I Grow Up

When I grow up, I want to be a someone that who would be able to stand up for the weak, poor and defenseless. I want to fight for the rights of the children because they are young and defenseless in many ways. I hate to see them abused by others in power and not having an education because they cannot afford it. I want to fight for the rights of women because I strongly believe that women have an equal right to education and also to employment. They have a right to be trained to have skills so that they can feed themselves and not be dependent on their husbands who sometimes beat the crap out of them.

Those were my thoughts when I was growing up. I wrote a composition when I was maybe in secondary 1 and won a prize and in that composition, I wrote that I wanted to be a lawyer to fight for the rights of women. But somewhere along the way, my aspirations to be a feminist lawyer kinda disappeared. Don't ask me why. Recently, I started reading a book, Women Hold Up Half the Sky, and it got me thinking again. I get mad thinking of women being tricked and forced into prostitution and sometimes dying from it either through murder, beatings and AIDS. I get madder reading about girls not given an opportunity to study and when they do get to school, they risk being killed.

It got me thinking again about my ambition when i was 13. The reality is that it's too late for me to head to law school and start all over again. Or actually, it might not be too late but I do not see the point or think there will be much of a return of investment. So I wonder, what can I do to make a difference to my belief? To a certain extent my job allows me to make that difference. I teach and I try my best to reach out to the underprivileged. But it's not enough and what else can I do? I don't know and I'm still thinking about it. But I believe that one does not have to do drastic stuff to make a difference. Even small acts if treating people with kindness and respect can make a difference to someone else. I get mad when people make disparaging remarks about foreign workers and domestic helpers in Singapore. They are people too. They need our respect too. It's the same in HK, I tell kids off when they treat their domestic help like crap. But one wonders where kids learn to treat their domestic help badly. Did they learn it from the adults around them? Some food for thoughts.

I'm A Teacher

Whenever I'm asked what I do for a living, I say that I teach for a living. There are days that I say it with pride and there are days that I say it with my head hanging down. I say it with pride because I do love my job and I love the kids that I work with but I say it looking to the ground because there are times that I think that I could do a better job.

There are kids that I've taught that I really love and felt that they have taught me things in return. One of my fav students is Rachel. I taught Rachel maybe close to 10 years ago. From her, I learnt that kids emulate and learn from their teachers. Most of you know that I love my nail polish a tad maybe too much and one day I caught Rachel colouring her nails with a highlighter and I was like, Rach! And she broke into the cutest grin. And yes, time to call her mum. She was my flower girl not because I asked her but she asked me too and I was so so honoured that a kid that I taught wanted so badly to be part of my wedding. So 9 years passed since I taught her and then she pops up on Facebook and I was like, wow! You remembered me! Over summer, I met her for lunch and again, I was honoured that she made the time to call me to arrange to meet up. Rach, thanks for reminding me that teaching does really touch lives.

Duane is another kid that I love. He got into the finals of Singapore Idol and from him I learnt to live out my dreams. Hmmmm, I've got too many dreams but Duane had a dream and he went out to live it. And I'm so proud of him.

L was a girl that I taught and she had a mum that had really high expectations of her. She's a lovely girl. And don't get me wrong, her mum would not come across as an abusive mum but she does punish L whenever she does not do well enough. And from teaching L, I learnt to work with parents and be careful of not getting their kids into more trouble.

Dart was a boy that really touched me. He was the in last class that I taught in Singapore before I left. He was from a broken family. In the beginning I didn't know of his home situation. I just knew that he was an active kid that couldn't keep still. It was over time that I began to understand more of his situation. This little kid taught me that patience and misbehaviour normally comes from a deeper issue. I miss him.

Now, why am I not a good teacher? There are times that I snap and snarl at kids, make fun of them and yes, be mean to them. There are times that I look back and reflect and think, I could have handled the situation better and treated the child better. I had a horrid kid once. This kid was the reason why I would not want to get to work. He would bully other kids and beat up other children in my class. When I call his mum, she would turn the tables on me. And there were times that she would even complain against me. But when I looked deeper, his mum was abused physically by her husband, the kid's dad. And that's why he probably beat his friends up too. There was nothing much that I could really do for the kid and the family. About 6 years passed and last I heard, he's in a boys' home.

Over summer, I read Precious by Sapphire. Every teacher should read it. I cannot understand, comprehend or even wonder why no teacher could have stopped the abuses at home for Precious or reported it and why was she even expelled from school!! Yes, it is a depressing but a good book nevertheless. Teaching is not just about academics, it's beyond that.