Anyway, back to the title of the post. A close friend of mine ended her marriage and I didn't even know it was ending or rather even on the rocks till it ended and she wrote it on her blog. Yes, that goes to show how much of a good friend I make! Being the good friend I strived to be, I wrote her an email and emails went back and forth. She's back on the dating scene and found someone that she kinda like. I like him too. In the midst of the emails back and forth, I asked her if she's still friends with her ex-husband. She said they are still friends and still confide in each other their problems. I was glad to hear that. I liked her ex-husband. When they started dating, she introduced him to me and during their marriage, we went on double dates a couple of times or sometimes he would join us for meals. He's still a nice guy for still caring for her when their marriage failed and they have evolved from being husband and wife to good friends.
And then last weekend, I caught up with another friend from Singapore. She and her husband split up a while ago and they have 2 kids. I knew this couple before they got married, Babe used to play soccer with her ex-husband. We attended their weddings and cuddled their kids when they were babies. Then I left Sydney for my masters and when I came back to Spore, I hardly see the ex-husband around. Was then told by someone else that the marriage ended. He met someone else. I left it as it is. There were rumour mongers but I decided that I'm going to ignore those gossips. And when the wife is ready, she would spill the beans out to me. Then I moved to HK. I remember one of the times that I was back in Spore, we bumped into each other and she shared bits of what she was going through. Yes, I take everything with a grain of salt because I'm only hearing one side. However, I believe that when a man stops loving the wife and he decides to walk away and be with someone else, be responsible and pay for the kids. Leave some dignity both for the man and the woman. Anyway, I digress. This time when we met up, she shared some of her issues that she had with her ex-husband with regards to child support, proceeds of the sale of the apartment, custody of the kids and other issues. He has turned into this bitter and vengeful person that Babe and I never expected him to be.
When I look at her marriage and my close friend's marriage. There's a huge contrast. Why make things so difficult? My close friend's ex-husband is not a Christian whereas my friend's ex-husband is. He's gracious to let her go and let her have her happiness. There was no cheating in their marriage. They outgrew each other. The other marriage, he cheated and was caught and now, turn around and shout unfair? Plus, he had people gossiping and saying, oh well, he cheated because she was such and such. How freaking fair is that? Look! Be a man and say, yes, I cheated and I did find someone else and I'm sorry I've chosen her. Don't be an ass and say stupid stuff and then not give her child support and go against her and turn the kids against her too! That's not a man. It's a COWARD! Sorry, maybe I might be a little harsh but still! Can't believe that he would say that he's poor and he can't pay child support when he's earning at least SIN10K a month! That's like 2 or 3 times the average salary of person in Singapore.
Anyway, not going to rant anymore. I understand sometimes marriages end. But why does it have to be ugly? Well, for one, when pride get bruised, it rears it's ugly head!
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