The Undeserving Me

Readers, be warned, this is a religious/ Christian post. So if you don't like reading stuff like this, move on. Don't read or if you do read, don't bother leaving malicious comments. Anyway, towards the end of the church service I was reminded of God's goodness upon me. There were things that I don't deserve but God so freely gave to me without me even asking for them.

One of the things that God freely gave me is little Ba Ba. With little Ba Ba is kinda interesting. We knew that it was God's calling for us to adopt. Yes, we adopted even without trying to conceive a child because we know that it's God's will. But then the wait for little Ba Ba was a long one. But this was probably due to our disobedience too. Anyway, when God gave us Ba Ba, there are days and even now that when I look at Ba Ba and I thank God for giving him to me. Yes, Babe and I don't deserve him but God is in generosity gave him to us.

The other thing that struck me was a gift that was recently bestowed upon Babe very unexpectedly recently. I'm not going to say that exactly the gift is but let's just say that it's a gift that Babe didn't expect and we're humbled to be able to receive the gift. And this morning was when I felt God speaking to me. This month is a 'cut back' month because we just paid taxes last month. And if truth be told, tithes to God was also cut back. It was at service that I was reminded that my God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. My God owns more than I can ever imagine and He truly does not need my money. I was also reminded that my God loves me and He will take care and look after me and will see that all my needs will be taken care of. Yes, there's a contradiction. But I understood what God was trying to tell me. He's telling me that He doesn't need my tithes but at the same time, He's telling me not to worry about money. He'll provide. But rather, it's obedience from me and also for me to put my faith in Him that He demands from me. Give to Him in obedience. And I was reminded of the sudden gift that was given to Babe and indirectly I'll be benefitting.

The gift was something that I was thinking about and honestly, it bothered me a little. God knew and He knows my thoughts. It wasn't really a worry but rather a little thorn. It was one of those things that I'm a little concern about, I think about it sometimes and then I put it away without even praying for it. But God knew and He gave it to us without even me praying for it. And that's when it hit me hard. See God does provide. It's not even a need at this stage. It's just a want and why didn't I trust Him? And that's my thoughts came together. Give because He will provide.

And as I end the post, God loves me. I'm so undeserving in so many ways but yet He loved me enough to choose me to be part of his chosen people. He gave me salvation. Did I do anything to deserve it? No, I didn't. I don't deserve it but yes in His love, He gave it to me. And what do I do in return? I repay with ingratitude. Yes, I said it or rather wrote it.