Happy Boxing Day from Singapore!

Yes, it's been a long time since I've updated my blog. The busyness of life got the better of me. We're back in Spore for the Christmas holidays. So far so good. Not complaining or actually will stop complaining.

Caught up with some friends and it dawned upon me that I don't seem to appreciate Babe enough at times. A couple of friends told me that their marriages broke down, a few told me that mutual friends of ours have cheated on their spouses. And then conversation shifts to fathers not very involved in parenting and not appreciating the efforts that the wife puts in and the list goes on. And then, the topic of gifts came up too. And I sat back and listen and look at myself. I've got a great deal! Sorry, rather God really blessed me with Babe. He hasn't done anything that I believe would make be suspicious of him. He's been very involved with little Baba and sometimes too involved as little Baba sometimes misses him too much. And Babe has always been very generous with gifts. So what is there for me to be complaining about him.

So it's time to really not compare and complain about Babe anymore. He's the best gift ever! Thanks Babe!

In Thanksgiving

It's just probably an hour or so ago that it dawned upon me that our wedding anniversary falls in the week of Thanksgiving. It's funny how only after ten years of being married that it hit me. Maybe God's telling and reminding me something.

God has been very gracious towards us in our marriage. I'm very humbled and grateful at how God consistently reminds me of His goodness towards us in this area. I've mentioned this many times that Babe and me are very different, polar opposites people and to stay committed and married to each other takes more than just tolerance. God played and still plays a major role in our marriage. The truth is that there are times that I thought that we're never going to make it through those tough patches.

But God in His mercy and graciousness provided me a man that's quite the opposite of me. Although I'm such an opposite of Babe, he accepts and loves me the way I am. Everyone that knows Babe knows that he's a man of few words. Well, which means that sometimes he's not very expressive and sometimes he clams up. Initially, it was hard for me and it was hard for him especially when we have our heated arguments. But over time I've learnt that his love language is different from mine. Babe shows his love by buying me stuff. Stuff that he notices that I've been eyeing for a long time and he buys them for me.

In these ten years of marriage, we've been through a fair bit. Not many husbands would give their wives blessings to go away to study for a year. He did that. Not many husbands would let their wives head off to Hong Kong to work without them. He did that and then he landed a job in Hong Kong. Babe did these for me because he knew that it was what I wanted to do. So when Babe told me that he needed a break from work, I agreed without hesitation because I knew that he needed a break. But he ended up with a short break. And when Babe told me that he wanted to head back to Spore to work, I agreed because I knew that he wanted to do that so that he will be still providing for me family even though we're in different countries. When Babe told me that he was going to quit his job in Spore to head back to Hong Kong, I agreed because I knew that being together is more important than money for our marriage. But God in His graciousness provided Babe a job in Hong Kong even before he left Spore.

Over the years, priorities in our marriage changed. We changed as individuals as well. I remember when we were newly weds, Babe was working in the alcohol industry, we would go out all the time and party but this lifestyle no longer attracts us. Money used to be important for us at one stage but now, we rather have quality time as a family than to be chasing the dollar signs. Priorities shift. I remember telling friends that if Babe and me had a child in the first few years of our marriage, there might be a possibility that we would have split up. And well, it's true because when we were younger, we were less tolerant of each other. God knew that and I guess that's why He sent Baba to us only after we passed out eighth anniversary.

So as a couple, where are we now? We still have our little fights and sometimes it becomes heated but we're aware that we have Baba now and we want him to grow up in a loving environment and we try our best not to get mad and snap at each other in front of little Baba. We're still work in progress. A marriage is never easy. I still read self-help marriage books to better myself. The reality is that marriage is hard work but the rewards are so worth it.

Babe, thanks for loving me and thanks for being a wonderful father to little Baba. Thanks for always being there for me, holding my hand and me when things are rough and when I think I'm about to throw in the towel. Thanks for being there in my lows and highs. Thanks for seeing me through so much. It has been a great experience and Babe, I look forward to more good years because I know that the best is yet to come!

Nope, you're not seeing things. That's me at the optometrist getting fitted for contact lenses because I lost mine on the day of my wedding.

 Babe and I saying our wedding vows. Can't believe that ten years have just flown by so quickly.

 The happy Mr and Mrs Seet. The start of our married life.

Dear Grandpa

Dear Grandpa,

It's been a long time since I've written you a letter. Things are kinda the same but yet different in some ways. There're lots of times that I wished that you're around to see how much you have taught us. Yes, even in your absence you're still teaching us. Guess your legacy will always be around.

I'm always ever thankful that I'm the oldest in the family because I got to meet and know you and know how much you have loved us. So grandma lives with us. I guess she's happy most of the time. She hangs out with Jojo and she's like a playmate to Jojo and she is always delighted to see little Baba too. I'm thankful that every time I head home, I get to hang out with Grandma. Her health is fine, except for her memory.

Grandpa, thanks, I'm always ever grateful that you and grandma adopted mummy. When three of us got baptized, mummy decided to name us, Faith, Hope and Amanda, which means love. She did a great job naming her kids. I wrote this on Facebook the other day, Faith's gift is Faith, Hope is always filled with Hope and Amanda (love) is in the Philippines spreading love. I asked Jacqui the other day where did we get our gifts of love and generosity from? Dad is a pretty generous person is showering us with whatever we wanted but I'm talking about going out and reaching out to the poor and needy. Walk the love.

And I thought deeper, I told Jacqui that it's probably from the maternal side of the family and she's like, that depends on nature vs nurture. Well, I kinda believe more in the nurture bit these days. And that's right, you adopted mummy without questions and without asking anything in return. You loved mummy unconditionally and for the longest time as a child, I never knew that mummy was adopted which meant that you treated your grandchildren equally. Thanks for that. And in turn, I saw that and as an adult, I internalized it and told myself that I'd adopt a child. So that's where Baba came around.

When Joanne was younger, she went out to the mission stations in Pakistan and did missions there. She has the heart of gold. Even now, she's doing missions to a certain extent as she's working in a Christian organization helping children with learning disabilities. Jacqui has been thinking a lot about her life. She has recently went to Manila to work with the slum kids. It has impacted her a lot. And she's at the crossroads trying to decide what God wants for her. The pictures that she sent me has me heartbroken for the kids.

Grandpa thanks for giving faith. Yes, faith of our fathers. You gave us the faith in God and loved us and in turn we are trying to live out your legacy or rather your faith. Although when you went to heaven, you were only sixty-two but you have impacted us a lot more than you can imagine. You're probably chuckling and laughing out in heaven when you see me typing this out. Yes, Grandpa, thanks. I am grateful and glad to have met and known you.

Love, Sunshine and Bread

So a couple of days before my 38th birthday, I was looking into the mirror and then I noticed, horror of horrors....wrinkles on my forehead! Yes, tiny little wrinkles staring back and smirking at me! And of course, I told Babe and his reply, 'You're getting old, you know that right?'

Yes, got to love my Babe! And then he proceeded to remind me that I'm hitting 38. I have to admit that I hate the process of aging. Seriously hate wrinkles and if I can have it my way, I would go and zap every one of those freaking wrinkles away. But the reality is that, I won't be doing that in the near future. So, I've got to start getting used to these wrinkles of mine. But these wrinkles or rather me getting another year older reminds me of God's blessings upon me and my family.

Love, I'm very thankful that over these years, not just these years, but rather the day God brought me to this world, He has constantly showered me with love. He has lavishly love me and brought people to love me despite me not deserving love. He has provided a wonderful husband, a great son, loving parents, supportive family, more best friends that I could ever imagine, and friends in HK that have become family.

Sunshine, God has brought lots of sunshine in my life. If little Baba were a girl, I would have named her Sunshine. There were periods in my life that I was probably slightly depressed or rather saw lots of clouds in my life, I don't even like gloomy weather because it affects my mood. But God has brought sunshine and I believe that He'll continue to bring lots of sunshine to me. I've learnt over the years that God will take care of my life and therefore He will bring sunshine to my life. Which to me is, lots of joy. And in moments of difficulties and situations, He will still bring joy to my life.

Bread, thank God for loads of bread. Today in class, I asked my male students, if the girl that you want to marry would only marry you if you have a house, what would you do? And I asked my female students if the guy that wants to marry you does not have a house, would you marry him? Okay, house = flat in HK. There was a really good discussion and one of my boys, concluded by saying that if he were the girl, he were marry the man even though he does not have a house because he has a kind heart. He put things into perspective for the class. I told my students that if the man love you enough, even though he's poor at the beginning, he would work hard enough to provide for you and the family. That's what Babe did for me. And I'm very thankful. God has been gracious and I'm been very humbled by how much God has given to us. He has given us more bread that I could even imagine.

So in short, Love, Sunshine and Bread, God has brought all these to me. He has given me the essentials. So what do I have to complain? Nothing. Yes, another year passed, which means another year of awesome blessings upon me! So now, how am I going to bless others with love, sunshine and bread. Yes, that's my goal for this year.

God's Plans for Baba

About a month ago, little Baba and I headed back to Spore to surprise mum for her birthday. We had an extremely long weekend. It was really hard to pull off a stunt like this. I speak to mum almost every day and it's hard to pretend that we're not heading home. Anyway, we pulled it off and mum was majorly excited and beyond happy! Anyway, I digress as usual. This is post not about mum's birthday but to a certain extend, it's kinda related.

So after surprising mum, I drove Jacqui's car with Jacqui at the back with little Baba to my mother in law's place for little Baba to hang out with her. While in the car, Jacqui and I were just chatting and talking nonsense as usual and Jacqui turned to little Baba and asked, 'So Didi, do you want to be a economist when you grow up?' And I said, 'No, he's going to a missionary doctor going to Africa!' And what happened next kinda changed some things. Jacqui kinda exclaimed something like, 'Do you know what Didi has in his hands?' And I was like, no, why? And that's when she pulled it out from his hands and showed it to me when I parked. It was a bulletin insert from our home church in Spore. And the bulletin insert was announcing the upcoming mission trip to Kenya. And I'm like, okay God, this is going to be kinda interesting.

I thought that was the end of it. The next morning at church, there was another bulletin insert that little Baba was grabbing onto, this time, a talk on missions in African nations. I'm like, ok God, this is really going to be very interesting. And then, the chairman at the service talked about giving our first fruit. And then it sort of hit me. I'm thinking, God is this what you want for little Baba? God, seriously? Not that I'm reluctant but rather I'm really glad and flattered that you have chose Baba.

And in thinking about that what has happened, I started to ask myself, will I be really willing to give up Baba to God? Will I be able to be like Abraham? We prayed for forever for little Baba to arrive and he's really cute, adorable, fun to be with and every single positive adjectives that you can find, it's him. Will I be able to lay Baba down on the alter for God. And that led me to think and wonder, obedience. Yes, obedience is not obeying with it convenient and it's works in our favour but rather obedience is doing what God wants us to do. With that in mind, my attitude changed. And this has been our prayers for little Baba. God, if this is what you want Baba to do, we will guide, support and educate him to be what God wants him to be.

The reality is that I can't tell or know what God really wants for little Baba but rather we can try our very best to raise him to be a man after God's heart. We understand the journey ahead might be hard but we have to trust that our Father in heaven knows the best. In my last post, I wrote about having dinner with old friends, and at dinner, we were joking that little Baba might marry our friend's daughter and then both of us have to go all the way to Africa to visit our children. Well, a joke but who knows, it might become a reality.

Anyway, enjoy the photos of little Baba.

 I honestly have not since mum so surprised and happy before. Guess she really didn't expect that we would be home. I told her that we would be in Bangkok and she bought it!

Little Baba and his possible future wife!

Friends for Life

I know over the years, I've blogged quite a bit about friends. And once again, the topic of friends came to mind recently. And I've been thinking about it and realized that God really has blessed me with friends when my extended family is not around and even with my extended family around, God still blessed with with wonderful friends.

On 28th of September, little Baba and I flew back to Singapore for a long weekend. It was a surprise for my mum for her birthday too. Well, actually Mum and Dad's birthdays, their birthdays are just a few days apart. Mum was beyond shocked and of course she was superbly happy!

Anyway, fast forward, a night before we left Singapore, we had dinner with a couple of our friends. We had dinner with Stanley and Dorcas, who are Baba's godparents (Eve is also Baba's godma), Adrian and Cindy and Mum and Joanne. And the kids, Victoria, Joanne and Baba. While having dinner, it hit me, the guys that were at dinner, I've known them for more than three decades. That's a long time and what makes it even better, I'm friends with their wives too. There's no awkwardness between their wives and me, we get along fine. Cindy and I plan playdates all the time. Dorcas comes along for all the meal meetups. 

When I sat there, I reflected and thought how God has brought these wonderful friends into my life. I've know Stanley for a long time. Seriously long! And he was one of the first people to know that we were matched with a child and without me asking, he volunteered himself to be little Baba's godfather! Well, not sure if he knew what he was getting into! When I was studying in Gold Coast, God placed Stanley in Brisbane knowing that I probably would need to call out to him quite often. And am glad that over the years, we've managed to maintain this beautiful friendship and he and his wife have become family. Little Baba love his godparents! 

With Adrian and Cindy, like I've mentioned, I know Adrian almost as long as I've known Stanley. I met the two guys in church and when I moved to HK, Adrian was here. Adrian has been a great brother. There were points of my life when Babe was not in HK and living in Spore and Adrian and Cindy would remember to get me out for meals once in a while. And when little Baba arrived, Adrian and Cindy were one of our first friends that met little Baba when he arrived. Even after they moved back to Singapore, we would still plan playdates with the kids. And yet again, God has placed this couple in my life with a purpose. 

But when I look at our 'nomadic' lifestyle at this point, I wonder if little Baba would have lifelong friends like me. Would he meet nice friends in church and then make lifelong friends that span over decades just like Babe and me? Oh would us moving back to Spore or to wherever that he won't make friends that know him for forever? At the same time, I wonder if us living in HK would drive a wedge or rather distance between our lifelong friends that over time, he would not know my lifelong friends.

And that brings me to the next point. I admit that we would and could and can save heaps more money if we didn't go back to Spore as often as at least four times a year. But to me, it's money well spent. I want little Baba to know my family and to know some of my really close friends and to understand Singapore's culture. I don't want little Baba to grow up not knowing and understanding where I come from. And sure there are times and moments that I wonder if it's time to pack up and head back to Spore but am always reminded that maybe God doesn't want us to move back to Spore yet. Sorry, too many random thoughts running at the same time and therefore my post is beginning to sound like senseless ramblings. I'm always constantly reminded that it's not where I want to be but where God wants me to be. And increasingly I am seeing why God wanted me to be in the school where I am now and His purposes but that's another post.

Before we got married, I had this image of Babe and me having kids and our kids would hang out with our close friends like Stanley and Adrian and others and have playdates with their kids and in time when our kids grow up, they would always know our friends as their family friends and maybe even date their children and yes, keeping it in the family, marry their kids. But now when we have little Baba and living overseas, I wonder if we're able to keep up with this momentum that Baba would know our close friends. But then again maybe I worry too much. I want to surround little Baba with our close friends so that in the event that if he runs into issues and problems and he doesn't want to turn to us, he will always have family uncles and aunties to turn to and would give him Godly counsel.

But does this mean that the friends that we make in HK are not good enough for him? NO! Definitely not! That's where I see that we're really blessed! I'm so thankful that God has bless us with wonderful friends in HK. These are friends that have become family. Yes, family, these are friends that I'm able to call when I need help especially when Babe is away and things happen at home. I'm even more grateful that God has place some of these wonderful friends just a few blocks away from us. What more can I ask for? 

So that night and the next day on the flight, I see God really working in my life. He has placed Christian brothers and sisters and non Christian friends in my life. And these are the people that have made such differences in my life. He has given me friends that I may not see for a couple of years and am able to pick up where we have left. H has given me friends that I know that if something does happen to Babe and me, they will step up and fill the void that we have left. In short, yes, God has brought these wonderful people to me and I'm eternally grateful to Him. 

And as taken from 
Michael W. Smith's Friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

That's right, friends are friends forever, these are true friends that love, respect and never judge. A friend will not say never, that reminds me of Eve, who welcomed me with open arms when I asked her if I could move in with her towards the end of my masters as I was running low and she didn't hesitate to let me move in. And yes, it's always hard to let go. It's especially hard for me to say bye to Eve because she lives so far away and I never really know when will I see her next and that's always hard for me. But I know that somewhere down the road, I'll see her again and that's next summer! With the guys, more than three decades of friendship, and with Eve, it's coming up to two decades of friendship. Yes, a lifetime is not too long to live as friends.

Thanks friends for loving, respecting and not judging me. I'm truly humbled to have met wonderful people like you. For the other people not mentioned in this post, I'm very thankful that God has placed you in my life. Thanks for making a difference. You never know what a difference that you have made to me!

And enjoy the two pics that was taken at the last trip back to Spore.

Super happy grandma! And super happy grandkids!

Updates

Yes, the blog is still kinda alive....Been caught up with life and well, been busy too. Been at the new school for about a month and love it so far. Learning lots from the kids and there are days that I walk away feeling a little sad knowing that some of the kids do not have much but most of the time, I walk away from work feeling glad that I've made the right decision.

I've been thinking about the haves and the have nots. As a child, I've never really been part of the haves but over the years, the family got into the middle of the haves. But we're still not really the haves. I wouldn't say that we're the haves now but rather we're in the category that we can be the haves if we want and be happy as the have nots. It wouldn't kill me that I can't have the designer bag that I like or the nice watch. My basic needs are met and I'm happy.

But as I work with some of the have nots, it pains me at times. Some of the kids that I work with live in sub divided units, do not have complete families, dysfunctional families and all sorts. There are times that I've to remind myself not to get really mad with some of these kids because they are already having such a hard time at home and cut them some slack. While discussing about the school trip, I have to be constantly reminded that most of the kids that I work with will not be able to afford the school trip. But these kids, are some of the most real, humble and yes, well behave kids. Some of the kids that I work are really grateful but they lack the motivation. They are used to the fact that they are at the bottom of the rung. It's sad.

When I look at my life, God has blessed me so much and I believe that this is why He put me where I am now. He taps into the soul and reminds me that He loves His children and I'm there to serve Him by helping the kids. Truth be told, I would have much as easier life if I stayed on at my old school but now, I'm really busy. I don't stop planning my worksheets, lessons, marking and replying letters from the time I step into the school till the time that I leave school. Yes, it's tiring. And I'm even conscious of not bringing my designer bags to work so that the kids would not feel that I'm being a snob. Yes, I'm carrying a backpack to work these days. But the reality of it all, I'm happy. I know that I'm really making a difference to some of the kids that I work with.

Dear Litte Baba

Dear Little Baba,

Ma Ma is in one of her pensive moods again. Da Da's away and I guess this gives me a chance to have some quiet and to reflect on stuff. There's a couple of things that came to my mind this evening.

One of them is obedience. Yes, it's kinda interesting that I'm going to be writing to you about obedience. Don't worry, I'm going to be lecturing you on behaving better but rather I'm going to write to you about me obeying God. So you know that I'm not working in the school that's five minutes' away from home and I've got to spend more time commuting and less time with you. It's kinda hard for me that I'm further from home and I get less time with you. No more thirty minutes lunches with you. But why did I give all these up? Yes, why? Reason, obedience. Well, a few months ago, the opportunity to move to another school came up and I resisted the move. I was thinking, I'm happy at where I'm working, I get to spend time with you and that's important to me. But over time, I felt God talking to me and telling me to obey and worse, Da Da came home one day and told me that God told him to tell me to move to that school. So I thought, should I obey and add discomfort of commuting, not having lunches with you, not coming home early to hang out with you, and lots more to obey God?

It's sad isn't it, Little Baba when I had to ponder if I should obey God? And you're thinking, Ma Ma, then why are you so hard on me when I disobey you? The reality is, Baba, even me, your Ma Ma had to think before obeying and I'm trying my best to guide you in God's path. I never want you to stray and not be able to hear God and go through what I had to go through for disobeying God. No, I want you to be on the right path and never stray. I know that I'll never be able to guide you forever but I want you to have the foundation and understand the rationale of obedience. But in saying that, it brings me to my next point.

'Ma Ma, will you love me if I disappoint you or do something that's so wrong or really disobeyed you?' My dear Josias, you have to remember that Ma Ma's love for you is unconditional. Yes, understand, it's unconditional. You may think sometimes that my love for you is conditional because sometimes you get a smack or get stuff taken away because you misbehave. But little Baba, every night before you go to bed, I'll always hug and kiss you and say that I love you no matter how good or how tough the day has been for me. It's the same with Da Da. He loves you no matter what. And it's harder for Da Da as he travels at least once a month now and he really misses you. And when he has to smack or disciplines you, it hurts him even more. So remember, little one, our love for you in unconditional. And no matter whatever that happens in life, we'll always be here for you, in good times or bad times, in ups and in downs and forever and ever, we'll be here for you.

Little Baba, I'm trying to be a good mother sometimes, it's hard, yes, its so hard! There are days as I lay in bed thinking that I could have handled some situations better with you and that I missed a teaching point with you or that maybe I disappointed you in some ways and it kills me that I could have been a better mother but I know that I'm not perfect and therefore I cannot expect a perfect boy. I fall short myself and so how can I demand perfection from you? And there are nights that I feel that I owe you an apology. But little Baba, I'm learning and I'm learning as fast as possible. I'm trying to be the best that I know how to be and every day is a learning process for me. But ultimately, I want you to know that I love you and nothing's going to change that.

Yes, Baba, we love you more than you can ever imagine. You are the baby that we prayed so hard for. You are the chosen one and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. God chose you to be our precious son and He gave us time to be better husband and wife to each other and even let us practise with Jojo before you were given to us. So always remember, we love you no matter what. There's no ifs or buts!

Love you forever and ever,
Ma Ma

P.S. I hope that in the event that if I do pass on before you turn into an adult, your god parents or my good friends will take time to look through my blog to print out all the letters to you. And enjoy your pics!

Giving Ma Ma your cheeky and cute look!

 We love you no matter if you have crumbs or blueberry all over your mouth or not! And thanks for enjoying Ma Ma's blueberry muffin.

Playing with Da Da. Love it when I watch the both of you interact. You bring out the best in Da Da, makes me more in love with Da Da!

Summer Coming to an End

Yes, we've been too busy to update my blog. We're back in Hong Kong. Came back on the 19th of Aug. Little Baba started school on the 20th and I had to be at school for a meeting on the 21st. We had a great time over summer.

There will never be enough time to do all that I want to do in Singapore even when we were there for more than three weeks. There were still places that I wanted to bring Baba to but guess that'll happen when we head back for Christmas. Baba had lots of fun. When I asked him about Hobbit (my dog in Singapore) he replied saying, 'Ming Ming'. That's Joanne's dog in Singapore. And sometimes when he plays by himself, he suddenly will say Jojo, guess he misses her too.

Melbourne trip was a blast. It would have been better if Babe had time for me. But that didn't bother me as I had time to explore a city on my own. I've not done than since summer of 2010. Yes, before little Baba arrived. Melbourne was great. Met up with old friends, some friends that I've not seen for more that 15 years and some friends that I've not seen for maybe more than 6 years. Plus the trip was a good gauge if we should put in our application for our PR. After the trip, we've come to realize that it'll be hard for us to migrate to Australia and have the same quality of life as what we have now. Australia is expensive. There's no denying it. And teaching jobs may not be great and pay as well as what I have now. So guess moving to Australia in the near future is out of the question. This was also the first trip heading back to Australia without the budget constraint of a student. For once, I was not in the stage of counting my pennies and yes, it felt great!

 This was taken St Kilda. It reminded me very much of Bondi Beach. Love the little quaint buildings. I had luxury to sit and have breakfast and just people watch. Sometime that's quite rare for me. Luna Park is also in St Kilda. Looking and walking past it reminded of Eve. Don't know why. Didn't have a walk inside Luna Park. Guess it some ways, I kinda miss her too much and don't want to make it worse. The pic on the bottom was me making an attempt to take a self portrait of myself at St Kilda. It wasn't too successful.

The pic below was taken near the hotel. I miss walls like this that's covered with posters and beautiful graffiti. Don't get me wrong, I don't approve vandalism....but I like those walls.

After Melbourne, Babe was very busy in Singapore. He had to work but he still took time off to bring little Baba to the zoo. Little Baba had a great time hanging out and spending time with Babe. A couple of evenings when Babe was done with work, we went to Marina Bay Sands to shop and have supper. It was nice.  Just before we left Singapore, Joanne manage to take time off from work and we went to Port of Lost Wonder and oh boy, the kids almost went wild! I had so much fun to the point that I didn't bother to put on sunblock and got myself sun burnt! And I forgot, Baba had probably 3 birthday cakes!

 This was Baba's first birthday cake. An old friend from uni baked it. Really beautiful and yummy. If you want her contact, let me know. By the way, this pic was taken by my sis, Jacqui.

 And this is the second birthday cake. I baked this for Baba when mum had a small gathering. Well the cake was a little too hard. I didn't add enough baking powder but it was still okay, I guess, but Babe thinks that I really need baking lessons! Again pic was taken by Jacqui.

This is Baba's third birthday cake. Mum got him this cake for him on his actual birthday. So little Baba is an expert in blowing out candles now!

 Babe and Baba at the zoo. Baba is probably thinking Ma Ma, just let me enjoy the zoo trip!

 At Port of Lost Wonder! So much fun!

 And yes, we had so much fun!

Little Baba trying to pose for the camera. Supper at Marina Bay Sands.

When we came back from Singapore, little Baba had to go to school the next day. Sure, I was very apprehensive. Now the table has turned and it's hard. On his first day of school, he was fine. He had fun and so I thought he would be fine at school.....So I thought! The next day, I had to be in school for a meeting and so our helper went to school instead. And that's when the mayhem started. He cried really badly so badly to the point that he threw up and that's when the teacher and school administrator agreed that our helper can stay with little Baba till end of next week. So hopefully by then, he'll be fine.

First day of school for little Baba. Yes, we know, it's a little too early for Baba to start school. But we were very careful with our kindy selection. We didn't want to put little Baba into a kindy that was very result driven or very focus in keeping the kids still and rigid. We want him to have a positive experience at this stage and therefore we choose a Montessori kindy for him. Yes, it's kinda far, it's in Sheung Wan and let's not even talk about how much his school fees are....But so far even with the crying, he was happy going to school.

Anyway, that's all the update we have.

Summer so far

We've been in Spore close to two weeks this Thursday. So far it has been really great. We touched down on the 19th. It was a little nerve wrecking in the beginning as I had to fly alone with Baba but Baba was absolutely great! He behaved so well. 


The moment we touched down Singapore, we had a ball. A week later, Babe arrived in Singapore. Initially Babe was worried that Baba would forget him but of course Baba didn't. In fact, every night before Babe arrived, he would ask for Babe. And sometimes Baba would give me a sad face when he asked for his dada. Babe arrived and we had Baba's birthday party last Saturday. It was a blast! Sorry no pics for the moment as I was too busy to take pics and Jacqui hasn't given me any pics yet. We had to have Baba's party early as Babe might be busy with work and he might be traveling during that period.

I'm really glad that every year, I get more than four weeks off and it's nice to be able to chill and spend time with Baba and the family. Sure when I'm back in Spore, there seems to be endless things to do but when I've got a long break, things don't seem so rushed. And I get to spend more time with the family, especially JC. I love watching JC and Baba interact with each other. Sometimes, it is a laugh but more often than not, they always end up in a fight. But after the fight, they're all loving again. It's seriously a laugh.

I also had the opportunity to catch up with old friends. Friends that I've not seen for years. The lady that baked Baba's cake was an old uni friend that I've not probably seen for close to fifteen years. It was nice to catch up even thought it was a short chat. And another friend, probably not seen her for four years or so, turned up at Baba's party. Again had a great time to catch up. At the back of my head, I'm feeling that it's when I leave overseas that these meet ups and catch ups begin to have lots more meaning to it. I guess its when I know that'll be a while before we catch up again that I tend to treasure these sessions a lot more. Plus the people that really make the effort to catch up with me, really make my day too.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Enjoy the pics.

 Little Baba in his own seat playing with the controls. Got to say that this flight was probably one of my best with Baba alone. So well behaved!

 After we arrived, we had to wait for mum as she finished her work in the clinic. The two kids for some reason behaved really well. Brought little JC out for a drink too.

 On the way to the Splash Park. Notice that they are wearing matching clothes? You can't see it in the pic but they're wearing matching shoes too!

 This was taken the day Babe arrived. Little Baba was so happy that Dada's with him. We went to the park near mum's place for a walk.

 Last year, we went for the same production. At that time, little Baba was quite squirmy. He couldn't keep still. But this time, he watched the whole watch quietly and he was really concentrating.

 Cupcakes that I baked for little Baba. You can't see it in the pic but the cupcakes had three layers of colours.

Summer Plans

So we're just a footstep away from summer holidays. Yes, just a tiny baby step away. Monday will be the last day at work and my last work of work at the school too. It's kinda bittersweet as well. Anyway, this post is not about leaving my work but rather summer plans.

Months and months before summer, probably just after Christmas I started making plans for summer. And notice, it's I that was making plans. So I had grand plans from going to meet Eve in Hawaii to going to Europe to going Maldives again and a whole range of plans. But I forgot Babe in the equation and then I started discussing with Babe and plans started to roll again. But time and time again, we had to change our plans as Babe has to work and also travel for work. We had to factor that in.

Finally, we had our plans firmed last month. Singapore first, then Kuala Lumpur, Melbourne and then maybe Bangkok. And in Singapore, we were meant to have little Baba's second birthday party there too. And restaurant was booked and cake ordered too. So we thought our summer plans were kinda fixed. Then a couple of days ago Babe told me that yes, there's changes again. I'm like, what? Changes again? That's when the slight panic began. We had to move little Baba's birthday party but we had to check the restaurant's availability and when that was settled, we had to make sure that the cake will be ready. And I'm trying to do all these remotely from Hong Kong and the party is meant to be like in two weeks' time too. Yes, it's kinda crazy. But thank God, all went well. Restaurant is able to accommodate us, cake can be baked on time. So I thought that there's no more changes. Then Babe called to tell me that there's more changes again! I'm like, huh?

Yes, trying roll with the flow. So there's probably going to be more changes over summer. But there at least I know that Singapore and Melbourne are confirmed. And I can't wait for the start of holidays. It's been a long school year. I really need the break!

Babe's Popo

Last Saturday, 30th of June, Babe and I were getting ready to go for a farewell party in our estate when Babe received a text message. He yelled out to me that his grandma passed away. Obviously he was very upset and he told me to go ahead to the party without him. So I went to the party with little Ba Ba and returned home in less than an hour. I wanted to say bye to our friends.

I first met Babe's grandma more than twenty years ago. I met her in church. I actually met her before I met Babe's mother. Babe told me that he was brought up by his grandma. When he was young, he lived with his grandma and his cousins and he lived with them till he was fourteen. So understandably he was quite upset. Popo was a very God fearing lady. She would read the bible and pray for her children, grandchildren and great grand children every day. When we got married, Popo was very elated for us. She loved Babe heaps. Over the years that I've known her, I've never seen or heard her raise her voice much less lose her temper. She was truly the model grandma. When she first got news that we adopted Baba, she wanted to know his name so that she can pray for him. I was very touched by it. Even towards the end of her life, she made sure that her grandchildren were well taken care. She lived frugally so that her grandchildren would be fine. That was another thing that touched me.

Last summer, we brought Baba home for the first time and the moment I landed, I brought Baba to the hospital to see Popo. Her face was brimming with joy. Whenever we headed home, we would bring little Baba to hang out with Popo. I'm sure little Baba enjoyed his time with Popo and so did Popo. The last time that we saw Popo was over Easter. Little Baba had a blast playing in her apartment. And Popo was amused by his antics. But little did we know that it would be Baba's last time to see her.

After hearing the news and getting more details, we booked our flights on Saturday and left on Sunday and we came back to HK on Wednesday. It was a rush trip but a good one. This was our first time rushing off to Spore. We went straight to the wake from the airport. It was hard on Babe. And on the last night of the wake, Babe made a little speech for his grandma. It was hard for him to do that. When he spoke, my tears rolled down. He loved her very much but we are glad that in time to come, we'll be able to meet her again.

Thanks Popo for raising Babe to be such a wonderful husband and father. I could never asked for more. You have influenced him more than you can imagine. Popo, we know that your greatest wish is for Babe's mother to come to faith too. We are praying for her and for Babe's father too. We believe that in time to come, they will come to faith.

At our church wedding some ten years ago. It's kinda bittersweet that three out of the eleven in the photo have left us to be with the Lord.

After our wedding reception at church.

Serving Popo tea. I can still remember her face brimming with joy and happiness.

Popo, Babe and Baba. I wished that I took more photos of Popo and I wished that we took a family photo with Popo too. Guess this is life. We never know when our loved ones would live us.

Little Baba monkeying around with Popo. If you look closely, you can see her smile. We miss you Popo.

6 Years + 6 Years

In my professional life (huh, that sounds so nice and glamourous) or rather in my working life since graduating from uni, I've only two employers. And it's interesting that my employment with my current employer is ending in a few weeks and it would be six years that I worked with them too. But the both sets of 6 years are vastly different.

The first 6 Years
The first 6 years of my working life was quite different from the next six years. At that time, I was young and just done with teachers' college and in my mind, I was going to be the best teacher and change the lives of the many students that I'll come across. In the first year, I worked really hard, churned out lots of worksheets, did the best for my kids and at the same time, tried to please my superiors. And the next year I did the same. And at the same time I wanted to be friends with my colleagues and have a 'family' there. I was really consumed with work and it became a situation that I was spending lots of time at work and with my colleagues. The third year rolled along and then fourth year. By then I was married and still doing what I thought would please my superiors. But how wrong was I. Soon, I was getting burnt out. Then the gossips and the backstabbing of colleagues. Plus, I wasn't getting the recognition that I wanted. Yes, I did want recognition and promotion. And what became worse was the jealousies and the favoritism that was played out openly among the management. So when the opportunity came for me to take a step back and do my masters, I did. I went and had a whale of my time and then came back thinking that I was going to be refreshed and conquer the world or rather the school again. But that fell flat on my face. I realized that I was not happy. And it was time for me to go. And thankfully, God opened the way to Hong Kong.

There were lessons that I learnt. The most important lesson that I learnt was that not all colleagues can be friends. That was something that I learnt hard. There were colleagues that I called friends but these were the colleagues that would not hesitate to send me up to be the sacrificial lamb. And the same for superiors. After leaving my employer, whenever I head back for holidays, I'm very careful who I meet. Ex-colleagues that do not deserve my time and energy, I don't bother. But the ex-colleagues that I meet, are the ones that I call them friends. The next important lesson that I learnt, I can never please my superiors enough and that I'm not irreplaceable. I can be replaced anytime.

The next 6 Years
So when Hong Kong came knocking, I was glad to go. Guess it was the time that I felt very drained and burnt out and it came to a point that if I didn't go, my marriage would have suffered and I would become one of those bitter teachers. Plus the money was almost twice of my salary then. So the initial plan was to pack up and leave for two years without Babe. Well, God had other plans. He provided Babe a job and we've been in HK for close to six years now. But my six years with my current employer is very different. The lessons learnt from the first six years were very crucial and important. I learnt not to make those mistakes. I took time to make friends. I wasn't desperate in making friends and I wasn't wanting to please my superiors. I did what I had to do and said no to stuff that I didn't want to do and I even had time to spend with my family. My family became first. I had more time with Babe, and now Ba Ba. My priorities shifted. Don't get me wrong, I didn't shortchange my employer but rather I became focused in what I want. And now that I'm leaving my employer, I feel a slight sense of sadness and reluctance. But I know that it's for the better.

The biggest lesson that I learnt here was to take time for myself. I had time to indulge in the things that I like to do. I've time to bake and cook and now, go for decorating classes. I've got time to travel to places that I want to go and to see people that I want to see. And in doing these things, I don't feel the burnt out. I actually enjoy going to work every day. And with friendship with my colleagues, I'm more cautious. I'm more cautious in making friends and I don't want to listen to gossips or get involved in gossips. And because of the language barrier, this works in my favor.

So the question is.....since life is pretty good with my current employer, why rock the boat and leave for a new employer? Well, I asked myself the same question. But in praying, God told Babe and me that it's time to go. It's time to go to a new school. We'll still be in HK but I'll be in another school. And I'm very excited for the next two years and who knows, possibly the next six years.

Meanwhile, enjoy the pics of my latest hobby.

My Life So Far

Have you paused and wondered if your life has turned out to be the way that you've envisioned your life to be as a child? Sometimes I do and when I do, to a certain extent I'm filled with gratitude and thankfulness to God for allowing my life to be the way it is now.

I remember once during one of my oral exams, I was asked what my ambition was. I remembered vividly replying that I want to be married by the age of 25 or something like that and be a mother of three kids or so by the age of 30. And I even remembered saying that I just want to be a good mother. Looking back now, my examiner must think that I must one of the the most 'bimbotic' girls that he has encountered. And I remember as a teen, I shared secrets with my cousin, Monster, well, we still share secrets, I told her that wouldn't it be nice to just wake up on my wedding day to be married to the love of my life without having to go through the heartache of finding the right one. Well to which she replied, then, that'll take out the fun of meeting and finding the right one.

Yes, I had loads of those childish dreams and aspirations. Well, to me being a stay at home mother at the age of 30 with three kids, errrmmmmm, that didn't quite happen. Why? This is why. Babe and me had an extended courtship and got married at the age of 28, so if I wanted 3 kids by the age of 30, that would have been quite difficult. But truth to be told, by the time I was 28, I was teaching for about 3 or 4 years, I didn't really want kids by then. I was just happy being with Babe. Think I saw too much damaged that was done by parents to their kids. And being a stay at home mum, Babe flatly said no. And I totally agree, I can't wash and clean and keep the home tidy plus with all the extra time, I'll be hitting the malls and shopping Babe broke. So that childhood dream sort of didn't come true but we have a toddler. And little Ba Ba totally brought lots of fun to our lives!

Walking up on my wedding day. Well, I overslept and woke up late on my wedding day! I did meet the man of my dreams and yes, through a long courtship and sometimes hard and tedious that we finally realised that God made us for each other. We've been married for close to 10 years and we're still learning every day to love each other unconditionally. I always tell my unmarried friends, a wedding is for a day but a marriage is for a lifetime and it's hard work. It's not your air fairy romance that you so often watch on telly but it's the real stuff dealing with the mundane stuff of life that sometimes can get to you.

Years and years ago when I was on the job training with Pan Pacific Hotel in Singapore, I met this reservation clerk while having lunch at the staff cafeteria. He asked me what do I see myself in the future? I told him that when I graduate from university, I would like to earn Sin 5,000 within the first five years of my working life. He scoffed, laughed at me and said, what you going to work as? A prostitute? I looked at him and had this speech bubble in my head, you idiot! I'm going to university, and what are you going to be doing with your life? So four or five years passed and I saw him on the bus when I was heading to teacher's training college after university. He was still in his Pan Pacific Hotel uniform and part of me felt sad for him and part of me felt like rubbing it in his face that I'm well on my way to earning that 5 grand before fifth year of working. Now, I'm happy where I'm at. Did hit my target a while ago and no, I've not given myself another target because I've come to an understanding that my material blessings are all from my heavenly father and He can take it away as and when he wants to.

So where's my life now? In all honesty, life's good. Gee, that's like from a commercial. But the reality is that my life is beyond what I expected it to be. Sure, I didn't get my 3 kids, but I've got one. And I'm happy. I seriously don't think I'll be cut out for 3 kids. Not a stay at home mum? Yes, I'm happier being at work. I'm happy working and to a certain extent touching the lives of the kids that I come across. Material wise? Like I always mention, God has blessed us far more than we have expected. We're glad to be able to have vacations almost twice a year and before Ba Ba, we had vacations close to 3 or 4 times a year. And we're glad that we're able to fly with Ba Ba to Spore every holidays that I have. This is far more that we can ask. Sure we can sit and focus on the negatives and wonder why don't we have as much as others. And why did we sell our flat then and now we don't own any apartments and we're still renting and why this and that? But I've learnt and realised that material blessings come from God. I no longer pray for God's material provisions because I've learnt over the years that God always provides. Yes, His provisions are more than what we  can expect.

So life is great because of God's provisions and that He has sent the right man to start a family with me. I'm ever so thankful for everything.

Dear Ba Ba

Dear Ba Ba,

I know that you miss Dada very much. He's in Tokyo and just one more night, he'll be home. It's hard to explain to you that Dada is in Tokyo so Mama just makes the airplane sign for you. Hopefully when you get a little older you'll understand. Yes, sometimes Dada travels a little more than he likes and Mama misses him heaps too.

Baba, as Father's Day draws nearer, Mama is writing you this letter to encourage you to grow up to be like your Dada. Some twenty years ago, Mama fell in love with Dada and some ten years ago, Dada and Mama got married. Mama is ever so thankful that after all these years, Mama is still in love with Dada. That's why Mama wants you to be like Dada. Sure, Dada has his flaws but even his flaws are sometimes endearing.

Here are some of the reasons why Mama still loves Dada after all these years.

1) Dada is Dada. He does not pretend or try to be someone else. Dada doesn't care if someone or some people don't like him. He is the way he is. And therefore he does not care to pretend to be someone else and if he doesn't like someone, he doesn't try or pretend to like that person. In other words, Dada is true to himself. There have been times that Dada realized that he does not agree with the company that he works for. Instead of pretending and going along with everyone, he walked away. This is despite the fact that he knew that if he stayed on in the company, he would have been promoted and well have a nice raise in salary but he didn't care for that.

2) Dada is a responsible man. Yes, he's very responsible. Ever since Dada and Mama started dating, Dada has paid for maybe ninety five percent of the meals that we have had because he feels that it's his responsibility to do that. Dada is a firm believer in bringing home the bacon. There were a few months of our marriage life that Dada took time off but before he did that, he told grandpa what he was going to do and seek his blessing and Mama's blessings before doing that. And Mama was even more in love with Dada because it showed Mama how much Dada treasure and love her. Ba Ba, be like Dada, be responsible and bring home the bacon for your future family.

3) Until death do us part. This is probably one of the most important thing trait that Mama loves about Dada. Ba Ba in every marriage there are ups and downs. Yes, that's the brutal truth. And it's these downs that give us the ups in the marriage. In every down in our marriage, Dada has always been patient in walking with Mama holding her hand. For richer and for poorer and in sickness and in health,   until death do us part. Yes, we have been richer and poorer and Dada and Mama stood side by side holding each other's hands tightly. In sickness and in health, when Dada had issues with his eyes and well, when Mama had her lasik or her myriad of little health issues, we stood firm together hold hands knowing that all these would pass and we will emerge stronger because God is watching over us.

4) Faith, yes Dada married Faith! Sorry, corny joke. Dada and Mama met in church and we share the same faith. That is so important for Mama. There have been times in the marriage that Mama's faith in God faltered due to varied reasons but Dada was there to walk Mama through those times. And faith is also important in our marriage. It's not often in a marriage that the wife flies off for two or three weeks for a vacation. But Dada allowed Mama to do that quite often before you arrived. He gave Mama the liberty to fly off to see your godma. And he also willing let Mama go do her masters in Sydney. And in return, Mama never called Dada when he was working in the alcohol industry visiting seedy bars because Mama has faith in Dada that he would never do anything that would make Mama sad. Mama also never calls Dada whenever he's away on his work trips because Mama again has faith that Dada is working and that he should be given peace to complete what he has to do and he would never do anything to jeopardize the marriage.

5) Love. Babe as you get older you'll understand that it's not easy to love Mama. Mama has lots of flaws, idiosyncrasies, quirks and well, in short, Mama is not an easy person to love. But Dada made the huge effort to love Mama. Dada is not the romantic kinda person that would go out and buy flowers and do these nice romantic gestures. Dada is a practical kind of person. He shows his love to Mama in practical ways. He buys or cooks Mama's favourite food. Sometimes when we're out shopping and Mama walks into a boutique and sees a bag, Dada on a whim would buy Mama that bag. And Mama has probably accumulated more bags that she can really use and more clothes that she can really wear but Dada still buys her stuff. When we first got married, Mama told Dada that on our 10th wedding anniversary, she would like a one carat diamond ring. Dada listened and he remembered. And before our 8th wedding anniversary Dada bought Mama one that's like 1.44 carat. Well, bigger than what Mama asked for. Wait, Ba Ba, Mama is not saying that love can be bought. But when you love someone, you want the best for someone. And you try to do within your means to give someone the best that you can afford. And Dada does that all the time and that's why Mama loves Dada heaps. Dada listens and although sometimes it may not seem that he's listening but he listens to what Mama would like and want and then he sometimes get it for Mama.

Ba Ba, Mama can go on and list more of Dada's attributes. But she's going to stop here. Saving the rest for another letter to you. The attributes are not written in order of importance or preference. They are attributes that came to Mama's mind as she wrote. Baba, Mama would be so happy if you grow up and marry your best friend and become the daddy that Dada is to you. Dada tries hard to come home early to hang out with you before you go to bed. He tries to be as hands on as possible with you. And the traveling bit. Dada honestly does not like to travel that much as it takes time away from us. And he hates it even more when traveling eats into his weekend, like this trip. But understand that its his job and he is trying to execute his job well. He misses you more than you'll ever understand and know. Little Ba Ba, it brings joy to Mama whenever we have family and friends that say that you're growing up to be like Dada. I know that we're not biologically related and it's always a joy to hear that you're like us in looks or mannerisms.

We love you, Ba Ba and will always love you!

Mama

Daddy

To be really honest, I am what I am largely to what my dad has ingrained, inculcated and instilled in me. My dad is the third person I love after Babe and Ba Ba. Sorry, daddy, my nuclear family has to come first now. The last time I saw dad about a week ago, I noticed that dad has aged. Well, you've got to see it from my point of view. Dad is only 18 years older than me and he's always being the strong man but I guess last week, the waking up super early in the morning to catch flight to Hong Kong and thereafter spending time out the whole day before me seeing him and waking up early again the next morning, must really have taken the toll on him.

In some ways, I'm quite like my dad. Very independent, opinionated, strong willed and always figuring a way out when the world tells me the answer is no. Well, it's these very traits that are similar to dad that makes us clash. In other words, dad raised me to be him and that's when sometimes our opinions defer and we clash. But at the end of the day, he's my dad.

When I was young, dad thought me the importance of having an education and the value of working. I admit that I'm not the brightest spark in the family but dad has never given up on me academically. I know that he wouldn't say it out but he's mightily proud of his daughters who are all university graduates. He probably didn't even graduate from high school. He was kinda disappointed when I told him that I was not going to pursue a doctorate. Well, Jacqui is doing it now so he'll still have a doctor in the family!

Dad taught me that nothing is beneath me. When dad's company turned bust, dad took time off to re-evaluate what he was going to do and he started to drive crew passengers or rather he started a limo/pick up service. In short, he became a driver. He did what he had to do to bring home the bacon. And its his example that made me understand, no job is beneath me. When I went to Sydney to do my masters, I under budgeted which meant that I didn't have enough money. And I was too proud (another of dad's trait) to call home to say that I needed money. So I worked in a supermarket, baby sat and at times waited upon tables. Sure there were days that I thought, screw this crap! I'm heading back to Spore. Forget this masters stuff and I'm heading home to my loving husband and an apartment and my car. But no, I stuck on. I did what I did and returned back to Spore with my masters. And I'm sure dad was very proud of me at that time.

Dad taught me the value of work. From a very young age, he would tell me that education is very important and thereafter work. Work and have some money and skills so that in the event something does happen to the husband, I wouldn't be left with nothing or no way to support myself. And I'm glad that has always been with me. I enjoy work. I enjoy the financial independence that comes with work. But at the same time, I'm also learning to save and put money aside. I've also learnt that yes, things can happen and if I wasn't working, the family may have fallen apart. There were two times that Babe out of his choice decided that he was going to take a break. And he did with my blessings. And if I wasn't working, that wouldn't have been possible.

Never take no for an answer. That's what dad says all the time. When everyone says no, find and figure out a yes. That was something I'm glad he inculcated in me. Dad is an 'in between' culture dad. He's got some of his Asian values mismashed with Western values. So some of his thoughts may seen a little radical to Asian parents but it worked well in raising us. He thought us to explore and see things and ask questions. He never said no when we wanted to go clubbing, go abroad to study and experience stuff. He's all for it but he taught us that everything comes with consequences. Dad is not a rich father so when things blow up in our faces, he's not going to come and pick up the tab. We understood that. So in never taking no for an answer, we understood the responsibility behind it. And in never taking no for the answer, he was the parent or the first person that taught me thinking out of the box.

Independence. My sisters and I are rather independent. When dad realized that he had three girls, he made sure that he raise us to be as independent as possible so that we would not be bullied and be able to stand on our own feet. And in teaching us independence, he also taught us that we as sisters have to stand up for each other. So when things happen, I know for certain that my sisters would be there for me. When Ba Ba arrived and our helper hasn't arrived yet, and we were struggling with child care, Jacqui promptly stepped in without asking. Each time we fly back into Spore, we will be always picked up either by my sisters or dad. Maybe that's why dad has always encouraged us to drive. Over these years, I can barely remember an occasion that we had to cab it back.

I could go on and on about dad. But I'm going to stop. My dad is not perfect. He has his flaws and his flaws are probably the same flaws as mine. But my dad is perfect for me. I married Babe because Babe to a certain extent has the same drive and family values as dad. Dad to a certain extend was a hands on dad. He was more hands on than some other dads I know and I appreciate that. However, Dad is still an Asian. He doesn't say much on some stuff and much less hug but I know that he loves me and my family and that in itself is a perfect dad for me.

My Babe

In the lead up to Father's Day, I'm kinda inspired to write a couple of posts related to Father's Day. The first post is obviously for Babe. Yes, that's right, Babe. The most important person in my life.

As most of you would have known by now that Babe is very different from me. Even our family dynamics are very different. And for the fact that our family dynamics are very different, we have different characters and it can be hard when we have family visiting. I have to admit that when Babe''s family is visiting, it can be rather stressful on me. Please don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't enjoy their company but for the fact that our apartment is kinda small and sometimes being in small and confined space does get to me. Anyway back to Babe. He has been very tolerant and accommodating as possible last week.

Babe has been and is still having a rather packed schedule at work. Not sure if it's the lead up to summer that he's trying to clear whatever he can so that he can work from Spore for a month or that there's just more to do. Anyway, Babe was in Bangkok from the 5th to the 7th of June and on the 8th of June, mummy, Jacqui and Jojo arrived. He barely had time to decompress and spend time with Ba Ba and me. Then on Sunday, Joanne arrived. We had a great time. Sure the apartment was a little crowded. Jojo and Baba entertained us with their antics and endless fights. They have a love-hate relationship. And then on Thursday, Daddy arrived too. Babe didn't even have time to have a meal with Dad, actually neither did I and before we knew it, Dad left for Shanghai.

So the madness at home continued. And because my family is here on a vacation, they wanted to do heaps of stuff and sometimes Ba Ba and I went along with them. Babe had his living room invaded and plus he didn't have time to watch telly too. But I'm so glad that through it all, Babe held his tongue and he didn't complain at all. There were nights that Babe missed spending time with little Ba Ba and he would remind me to bring Ba Ba home early but obviously we were too busy hanging out.

This morning Babe left for Tokyo. Last night, he came home kinda late, well, 8 at night is late for me. He barely had time to hang out with Ba Ba before little one went to bed. He did mention last night that he missed Ba Ba and missed just spending time with me too. Yes, I'm touched. Very touched. I was thinking that yes, it's almost 10 years of being married and 10 years of dating and that's 20 years in all and he still misses me and wants to hang out with me, to be, that's beautiful. I don't care what others say.

I was reading tabloids yesterday and a certain celebrity said that her husband is more than a husband and the term is husband is too narrow to define her husband. And I agree too. Babe is more than a husband to me. He has many roles. He's my best friend, my brother, my father in a way that he guides me in certain decision making, my only flatmate that can live with my idiosyncrasies. Don't think even my mum and my sisters can deal with them at times. Yes, the term husband is too narrow for Babe or then maybe the term husband, bands all these roles together. And before I end, Babe is the best dad for little Ba Ba. I wouldn't want to share this parenting experience with anyone else in the world. Babe takes time to listen to Ba Ba. He stops and plays with Ba Ba and it's funny now that I see Babe giving little Ba Ba a little snack here and there and he gives him sips of soda too. And it makes me smile when Babe complains that he doesn't have time for little Ba Ba when Ba Ba goes to bed too early. Yes, thanks Babe for being in this parenting experience with me. I'm glad that God has chosen you for me.

Contentment

Once upon a time, there was a girl that was born into a lower middle income family. She had all her needs met but not her all wants met which is sort of fine. One can't have everything in life. When she hit fifteen, her richer friends had Guess bags and she told herself that once she's able to buy that Guess bag, she'll be very happy.

So she got herself a part time job and subsequently she got herself a Guess bag. Well, she should be happy now, right? She was for the time being. Then she saw her friends with Coach bags and she thought to herself, yes, a Coach bag would make me happy. So at twenty, she got herself a Coach bag. Life went on, then she noticed, maybe a Kate Spade bag would make me happy now. And yes, she went to get herself one. And then she thought, maybe Gucci now, will make her happy.

Well, bags after bags and each bag more expensive than the last one. But at the end of the day, did the bag make her happy? Only the girl has the answer.

Well, the main character girl in the story could be me or anyone. I shared this analogy with a friend when we were talking about contentment. Yes, we set financial or material goals for ourselves and once we hit that goal, are we truly happy? And what makes us happy, honestly?

I used to have a shopping habit. Noticed that I used the word 'used'. When I first started working, I would shop whenever I felt down. To me, if I buy something, it would make me happy. Just that something. So sometimes it could be a lipstick, or sometimes a skirt or sometimes a bag. And if I had a really bad day, the purchases would be more. Yes, that moment of buying made me happy and then the purchases would be forgotten and when my credit card bills appear, my heart would sink and then the cycle would repeat. Was I really happy? No, I wasn't. I learnt the hard way. When I was moving to Hong Kong, I gave some of my stuff away. And some of my stuff still had price tags on it. It was after moving to Hong Kong that I learnt that stuff are stuff and stuff don't make me happy.

Yes, stuff don't make me happy. This morning on my facebook status I wrote this, 'I just realized that if I wore a different outfit every day, it would take more than a month more me to go through my wardrobe'. Well, this is excluding my winter clothes. Yes, I've that much of clothes. But do my clothes make me happy? No, I'm very proud to say that I'm now contented with whatever that I have. I've learnt over the years that God has so richly provided for me and material stuff does not make me happy. I am contented.

Recently, I told Babe that I was going to buy a bag from a store. He looked at me and laughed and said this, 'You do realize that I can afford to buy you a more expensive bag?' Well, the bag that I wanted was something like HK350 which is like SIN$60ish. Babe buys most of my bags. But I told him no. That bag that I wanted was big enough for me to carry to work. It could contain my Macbook and my lunch and if and when I get my Ipad, it would fit too. So I happily bought it and brought it to work. And I've found contentment. For the record, I never had a Guess bag.