Have you paused and wondered if your life has turned out to be the way that you've envisioned your life to be as a child? Sometimes I do and when I do, to a certain extent I'm filled with gratitude and thankfulness to God for allowing my life to be the way it is now.
I remember once during one of my oral exams, I was asked what my ambition was. I remembered vividly replying that I want to be married by the age of 25 or something like that and be a mother of three kids or so by the age of 30. And I even remembered saying that I just want to be a good mother. Looking back now, my examiner must think that I must one of the the most 'bimbotic' girls that he has encountered. And I remember as a teen, I shared secrets with my cousin, Monster, well, we still share secrets, I told her that wouldn't it be nice to just wake up on my wedding day to be married to the love of my life without having to go through the heartache of finding the right one. Well to which she replied, then, that'll take out the fun of meeting and finding the right one.
Yes, I had loads of those childish dreams and aspirations. Well, to me being a stay at home mother at the age of 30 with three kids, errrmmmmm, that didn't quite happen. Why? This is why. Babe and me had an extended courtship and got married at the age of 28, so if I wanted 3 kids by the age of 30, that would have been quite difficult. But truth to be told, by the time I was 28, I was teaching for about 3 or 4 years, I didn't really want kids by then. I was just happy being with Babe. Think I saw too much damaged that was done by parents to their kids. And being a stay at home mum, Babe flatly said no. And I totally agree, I can't wash and clean and keep the home tidy plus with all the extra time, I'll be hitting the malls and shopping Babe broke. So that childhood dream sort of didn't come true but we have a toddler. And little Ba Ba totally brought lots of fun to our lives!
Walking up on my wedding day. Well, I overslept and woke up late on my wedding day! I did meet the man of my dreams and yes, through a long courtship and sometimes hard and tedious that we finally realised that God made us for each other. We've been married for close to 10 years and we're still learning every day to love each other unconditionally. I always tell my unmarried friends, a wedding is for a day but a marriage is for a lifetime and it's hard work. It's not your air fairy romance that you so often watch on telly but it's the real stuff dealing with the mundane stuff of life that sometimes can get to you.
Years and years ago when I was on the job training with Pan Pacific Hotel in Singapore, I met this reservation clerk while having lunch at the staff cafeteria. He asked me what do I see myself in the future? I told him that when I graduate from university, I would like to earn Sin 5,000 within the first five years of my working life. He scoffed, laughed at me and said, what you going to work as? A prostitute? I looked at him and had this speech bubble in my head, you idiot! I'm going to university, and what are you going to be doing with your life? So four or five years passed and I saw him on the bus when I was heading to teacher's training college after university. He was still in his Pan Pacific Hotel uniform and part of me felt sad for him and part of me felt like rubbing it in his face that I'm well on my way to earning that 5 grand before fifth year of working. Now, I'm happy where I'm at. Did hit my target a while ago and no, I've not given myself another target because I've come to an understanding that my material blessings are all from my heavenly father and He can take it away as and when he wants to.
So where's my life now? In all honesty, life's good. Gee, that's like from a commercial. But the reality is that my life is beyond what I expected it to be. Sure, I didn't get my 3 kids, but I've got one. And I'm happy. I seriously don't think I'll be cut out for 3 kids. Not a stay at home mum? Yes, I'm happier being at work. I'm happy working and to a certain extent touching the lives of the kids that I come across. Material wise? Like I always mention, God has blessed us far more than we have expected. We're glad to be able to have vacations almost twice a year and before Ba Ba, we had vacations close to 3 or 4 times a year. And we're glad that we're able to fly with Ba Ba to Spore every holidays that I have. This is far more that we can ask. Sure we can sit and focus on the negatives and wonder why don't we have as much as others. And why did we sell our flat then and now we don't own any apartments and we're still renting and why this and that? But I've learnt and realised that material blessings come from God. I no longer pray for God's material provisions because I've learnt over the years that God always provides. Yes, His provisions are more than what we can expect.
So life is great because of God's provisions and that He has sent the right man to start a family with me. I'm ever so thankful for everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment