Daddy

To be really honest, I am what I am largely to what my dad has ingrained, inculcated and instilled in me. My dad is the third person I love after Babe and Ba Ba. Sorry, daddy, my nuclear family has to come first now. The last time I saw dad about a week ago, I noticed that dad has aged. Well, you've got to see it from my point of view. Dad is only 18 years older than me and he's always being the strong man but I guess last week, the waking up super early in the morning to catch flight to Hong Kong and thereafter spending time out the whole day before me seeing him and waking up early again the next morning, must really have taken the toll on him.

In some ways, I'm quite like my dad. Very independent, opinionated, strong willed and always figuring a way out when the world tells me the answer is no. Well, it's these very traits that are similar to dad that makes us clash. In other words, dad raised me to be him and that's when sometimes our opinions defer and we clash. But at the end of the day, he's my dad.

When I was young, dad thought me the importance of having an education and the value of working. I admit that I'm not the brightest spark in the family but dad has never given up on me academically. I know that he wouldn't say it out but he's mightily proud of his daughters who are all university graduates. He probably didn't even graduate from high school. He was kinda disappointed when I told him that I was not going to pursue a doctorate. Well, Jacqui is doing it now so he'll still have a doctor in the family!

Dad taught me that nothing is beneath me. When dad's company turned bust, dad took time off to re-evaluate what he was going to do and he started to drive crew passengers or rather he started a limo/pick up service. In short, he became a driver. He did what he had to do to bring home the bacon. And its his example that made me understand, no job is beneath me. When I went to Sydney to do my masters, I under budgeted which meant that I didn't have enough money. And I was too proud (another of dad's trait) to call home to say that I needed money. So I worked in a supermarket, baby sat and at times waited upon tables. Sure there were days that I thought, screw this crap! I'm heading back to Spore. Forget this masters stuff and I'm heading home to my loving husband and an apartment and my car. But no, I stuck on. I did what I did and returned back to Spore with my masters. And I'm sure dad was very proud of me at that time.

Dad taught me the value of work. From a very young age, he would tell me that education is very important and thereafter work. Work and have some money and skills so that in the event something does happen to the husband, I wouldn't be left with nothing or no way to support myself. And I'm glad that has always been with me. I enjoy work. I enjoy the financial independence that comes with work. But at the same time, I'm also learning to save and put money aside. I've also learnt that yes, things can happen and if I wasn't working, the family may have fallen apart. There were two times that Babe out of his choice decided that he was going to take a break. And he did with my blessings. And if I wasn't working, that wouldn't have been possible.

Never take no for an answer. That's what dad says all the time. When everyone says no, find and figure out a yes. That was something I'm glad he inculcated in me. Dad is an 'in between' culture dad. He's got some of his Asian values mismashed with Western values. So some of his thoughts may seen a little radical to Asian parents but it worked well in raising us. He thought us to explore and see things and ask questions. He never said no when we wanted to go clubbing, go abroad to study and experience stuff. He's all for it but he taught us that everything comes with consequences. Dad is not a rich father so when things blow up in our faces, he's not going to come and pick up the tab. We understood that. So in never taking no for an answer, we understood the responsibility behind it. And in never taking no for the answer, he was the parent or the first person that taught me thinking out of the box.

Independence. My sisters and I are rather independent. When dad realized that he had three girls, he made sure that he raise us to be as independent as possible so that we would not be bullied and be able to stand on our own feet. And in teaching us independence, he also taught us that we as sisters have to stand up for each other. So when things happen, I know for certain that my sisters would be there for me. When Ba Ba arrived and our helper hasn't arrived yet, and we were struggling with child care, Jacqui promptly stepped in without asking. Each time we fly back into Spore, we will be always picked up either by my sisters or dad. Maybe that's why dad has always encouraged us to drive. Over these years, I can barely remember an occasion that we had to cab it back.

I could go on and on about dad. But I'm going to stop. My dad is not perfect. He has his flaws and his flaws are probably the same flaws as mine. But my dad is perfect for me. I married Babe because Babe to a certain extent has the same drive and family values as dad. Dad to a certain extend was a hands on dad. He was more hands on than some other dads I know and I appreciate that. However, Dad is still an Asian. He doesn't say much on some stuff and much less hug but I know that he loves me and my family and that in itself is a perfect dad for me.