One of the things that I remembered clearly and distinctly from premarital counselling is a lesson on love in the family. I remember Uncle Hock Lee telling WK and me that when someone in the family perceives that there isn't love in the family, the person will go elsewhere to look for love. Simply because everyone craves to be loved. He went on the say, that's how spouse strays because they feel unloved and thus they seek attention elsewhere. But then again, too much love can lead to dependency and jealousy. Therefore right in the beginning of our marriage, I hardly turn mad when WK had to come home late from entertainment or when he had to go to places where there are beautiful hostesses. In all honesty, I've never turned mad at him over that. I want to make sure that there's enough love in our marriage for him and also enough freedom for him. Having said that, he's been an absolute great husband.
Since things are fine, why am I talking about love in the family? Well, I work in the children's business and in the course of my work, I've seen a fair number of broken families that break my heart too. And recently, my family is affected by an issue like that. Let's not name names because I truly love everyone in my family and like God has given me many chances in life and thus, we should give people many chances to repent and try to change their lives.
One of my cousins got married early and well, it was sad that his marriage failed. Things happen and we move on. His kid was sent to States because neither him, his ex-wife nor his mother could handle everything that was going on. It was too much. And he was my favourite nephew. But things didn't work out and he was sent home to Spore. He was meant to live with his mother but things got out of hand and he moved back with his grandma and now, horror of horrors, he's not going to school!
When I learnt about it, my heart ached for him. When he was born, everyone was so excited and we love him heaps. I know about going through hard times but I'm always thankful that whatever that happens, my parents made sure that there was enough love at home to go around. But that poor kid is going through issues because he's trying to grapple with growing up and understanding what love means to him. I felt bad that I missed his birthday. I know he's crying out for love and thus he doing what he's doing. And his mum is at her wits' end as well. Such as mess.
But how in the first place did the mess come around? I've known of some kids that grow up normally and perfectly despite the fact that they only had, mum, dad or grandma. The answer is the ample and overflowing love that was provided to the kid. At this point of time, my poor nephew thinks that no one loves him because of all the transitions that's happening in his life. Is it his fault that things turn out this way? Is it the fault of the adults that tried their best in providing for him? Whose fault is it?
I don't know and I don't think anyone has a fault in it. And no point finger pointing. He's going through a hard time and he needs to understand that everyone loves him. In his mind, his perception is that no one loves him. And that has to change. The moment he understands that there's more than enough love for him, he'll be fine. Cousins, if you could direct little kiddo to read this, it'll be great. Kiddo, you know who you are....Understand that I love you heaps and your parents too. Actually, all the Sims love you heaps! When I get back for the summer, I'll try to spend a day with you. Take care and remember that whatever happens, we love you and only want the best for you!
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