Struggles

Every day I'm faced with struggles from the time I wake up to the time I hit the sack. In the morning, I struggle with getting out of bed in time. As Babe calls me 'Five Minute Min'. I'm very good with five more minutes. Then the struggle with what clothes to wear, breakfast to eat and the list goes on. Well, some might call this decisions but I call some of my decisions, struggles.

I struggle lots to go to the gym, eat good and wholesome food, no snacks and guess the biggest struggle is to do my quiet time, oh, it's not that, is to live a Christianly life. Guess that's my biggest struggle. There are situations that I'm faced with and this thought always come to my mind, what would Jesus do. And it's a struggle. I want to do right by God's standard and at the same time, I want to have my say and revenge but that's not what God says.

Last week's sermon came very apt to my thoughts this week. Pastor Brett said that as a Christian there's a fine balance between love and righteousness. When one turns very righteous, love dips, and well, becomes judgmental and self-righteous (my words, not Pastor Brett's). But when love takes over, righteousness dips and discipline takes a backseat. It's hard to do the right thing all the time. Yes, I agree. When I look back at my life, my parents have done a relatively good job in having a balance between love and righteousness. They tried their best to raise us with love and discipline.

Substiutional sacrifice is an example of struggle that I go through at times. Actually quite often. There are times that I would love to hang out late with my friends and live Babe at home. But when I think about it, I'm sacrificing my time with Babe with my friends and how much can I sacrifice Babe? It's not fair for him. And it's the same with my family. It's especially hard each time I head back to Spore. Most of the time that I head back, I'm back for less than 2 weeks. In that 2 weeks, I would have to squeeze time for my family, WK's family and my friends. Naturally friends take a backseat, they are sacrificed for family. And over the 3 years, I've learnt to prioritize friends. This sounds harsh but the reality is that I used to struggle over who I can meet and how do I divide my time. But as time went by, I've come to realize that if friends really want to take time to meet me, they would make time for me and not me trying to make time for them. So it ends up a handful that I really catch up each time. Well, this summer, thank God, I'll have more time in Spore and maybe I'll catch up with more friends. But reality, I would really like to spend more time with Jo Claire!

Enough of my mindless blabberings.....Well, tomorrow, one struggle less, I can sleep in!!! Woohoo!!! Summer hols are officially here for me!