A Visit to Grandma

Mum and Joanne flew into Hong Kong on Friday night to visit me and more importantly to see grandma. Before leaving, mum tried calling grandma but she couldn't get her. Called around to relatives and finally found out that grandma was in the hospital. Grandma has been going in and out of the hospital because of her bad aches.

Got to Dongguan and saw grandma. It was nice to see her. She seemed to have shrunk a little and it was true. Apparently this is due to old age. Brought her out for dinner and chatted with her. But grandma's memory seemed to be lapsing. Her short term memory is bad, real bad. We kept having to repeat stuff to her. The lady next to grandma on her left, is mum's cousin. Mum obviously is in the one clad in pink shawl. Mum's cousin has been faithfully taking care of grandma without asking for anything in return and it's really nice to realise that in the midst of all the greed in the world, there is this lady who takes great care of grandma for more than 7 or 8 years.



This morning after breakfast, we went to see grandma. Well, got to the hospital and it was incredibly crowded. I went up to the room with mum first. Went to grandma's room and was kinda shocked to find grandma not there! And then was told that she was discharged. Phew! And then Joanne came up. First thing she said, 'I've got pickpocketed.' She seemed calm and collected and then she had to make calls to cancel her credit cards. The way I see it, well, maybe someone really needed the money and had to take hers. No point being mad with the person who took it. Went to grandma's place, found her and sat and chatted with her.

A sniplet of conversation with grandma

Grandma: Where is ayi (mum's sister) living now?
Mum: At 66 Chiselhurst.
Grandma: Oh, so who stays at Conway?
Mum: Seah, you know, brother's friend?
Grandma: Oh yes. Jasmine, you working in Hong Kong now?
me: Oh yes, working in Hong Kong now.
Grandma: So where's Ayi living now? Is she back in Singapore?
Mum: Ya, she back in Singapore living in 66 Chiselhurst.
Grandma: Oh really?
Joanne: Je, you see, grandma's short term memory is bad, huh?
Grandma: So, ayi is back in Singapore? Where is she living?
Mum: She's living in 66 Chiselhurst with Aloy. (Mum still patient)
Me: So, guess what's she's going to say next? (me playing on my phone)
Grandma: So, where's Ayi living now?
Mum, Joanne and me stilfing our laugher, controlling, snorting, making strange noises.
Mum: I need to get to the bathroom. (We heard her laughter from the toilet)
Joanne roaring into laughter.
Grandma: Why's everyone laughing? What's so funny?
Me: Because you asked for the 3 or 4th time the same question (laughing and trying so hard to keep straight face)
Grandma: Sorry, hahaha, see I told you, I've bad memory.


I took this picture of grandma and grandpa. There are times that I forget how grandpa look like. I was telling Joanne that it pays to be the eldest because I've memories of grandpa, playing in the backyard of their house, talking to him and just being around him. When he died, I was 10. Grandma told me that grandpa used to work for NUS and he always wondered if his grandchildren would go to NUS. Well, grandpa, they did. Joanne and Alwin did. But the rest of us went overseas. Grandpa was probably the first person that imprinted in my head that education is very important. There are times that I wish that grandpa didn't leave so early. I wished that I had a couple of years more with him. I wanted him to see that his adopted daughter, mum, did him proud by raising 3 daughters who are graduates despite the difficulties that she had in life. I remember once grandma spotted an animal stuck in between her flowerpots. She thought it was a cat and she hit it. And it started squealing and squealing. Grandpa ran out and told her that it was a guniea pig. I guess that must have been when my love for guinea pigs started.

As I sat in the car on the way home, my thoughts turn to grandma. It's like she's on borrowed time. How long more does she have with us? On one hand, I don't want her to go but she misses grandpa very much. Grandma told us today that she's been to Rome, Scotland, London and lots more places with grandpa. They had a wonderful loving relationship. Her memory is lapsing and I wonder how much more time does she have? I wonder if she's happy. I must say that even when I was living in Singapore, I probably saw grandma more than Ah Ma, dad's mum. Even Joanne agreed that it's the same with her. And often I wonder if the last time that I see her, will that be the real last time?

Weekend Without Babe

Yes, I know, it's a little late. It's like early Wednesday morning already. I've been rather busy, actually even busier than when Babe's in town.

On Saturday, stayed at home in the morning while the part time helper came to clean the house. After that, was meant to meet Carmen for a movie but that didn't pan out as the tickets were sold out. We went for tea instead. After tea, we went for a massage and caught up with Shirley, a friend of Carmen's. After the massage, went to Susan's boyfriend, Eric's birthday party. Didn't stay out long as I wanted to get home to feed Happy and also to spend time with her.

On Sunday, met Cindy and another friend and her boyfriend for church. Went to ECC. It was a nice church. But guess, we're happy at IBC for the moment and we don't really see the need to switch but I'll still pop by whenever I can. After church, had lunch with friends. It was nice to know that even though Babe's not around for the weekend, I've got friends that are around me and are there to spend time with me. It was also rather coincidental that I got in contact with Cindy to ask her if she wanted to meet for church and to have lunch after that, as Adrian, her boyfriend was not in town.

Monday came around, work, gym, and then, yes, another massage and then met up with Carmen for dinner. Tueday, work, and then.....while teaching my last class, an announcement came. We had to pack the kids home as the bridge was about to close and typhoon signal number 8 would be hoisted soon. Got home a little early, grabbed food from the supermarket, just in case the typhoon might still be around tomorrow, I'll have food.

This weekend, at Eric's party, I met another NET who has been in HK for 8 years and interestingly, he and his wife have been in a long distance relationship for 8 years. He told me that its not the quantity that matters but rather the quality that matters. When I look at Babe and myself, it's very true. Emily, Derrick's girlfriend said to me once, that in a Chinese saying, when being apart and being together again, for married couples, it's like being newly married again. Err, something like that. Well, it is very true. I told a friend that yes, after being married for close to 6 years and dating the guy for 10 years before getting married, the butterflies in the tummy kinda died. But now, each time Babe takes off for a work trip, caterpillars appear in my tummy and by the time Babe gets back to HK, the caterpillars become butterflies! I get all excited again and try my best not to pick on frivolous things to squabble with Babe because it is just ain't worth it! We don't have enough time!

I do like my time away from Babe at times but at times, I wish he's around to help me deal with things. I'm sitting in the living room while the winds howl and screech and I'm perspiring because I can't really turn on the AC as it is leaking. Wish he's around to deal to the issue. Hate to have to make a call to the repair guys or get my landlord to fix it for us. It's a hassle and yes, me lazy! I know, I can surf the net in my room now that we have wireless but room got no TV!!!

Time to stop babbling....enough...This is what happens when Babe is away, I just type and type.....anyway, enjoy this mad video of my little Happy!

In Times Like These

So now we may have a financial turmoil lurking around in the corner and in China and parts of Asia we have a milk scare that's going on. What's going on? Why are things like these happening? Well, in my humble opinion, one word, GREED. The filthy five letter word. So filthy and disgusting that well, the financial industry is reeling from the yo-yo madness, people jobless or on the verge of losing their jobs with the possibility of being homeless. With the milk scare, there are at this point of time, 4 babies dead and more than 6000 sick.

Apparently there may be more banks going down and governments around the world are trying their best to hold the economy up. Lines are forming outside AIA offices to get their policies terminated. Well, thank God, I don't have policies with them. But reality is that even if AIA may be fine but with everyone rushing to terminate and cash out their policies, they may very well collapse. A fine example of self fulfilling prophecy. And the irony of it, these people bought insurance polices to safeguard their money and to pay for their illness when and if the need arrives and now.....fear grips them. And I wonder, have they put their trust in the wrong person?

I guess the sub prime thingy has finally hit hard. From what I understand, in my limited understanding of financial matters, people basically overstretched themselves. Everything went on credit from home mortgage to car to renovations, to everything in the house. What came in every month was barely enough to pay for everything. People became greedy and money became their idol. Well, I'm not judging anyone because I'm part of the crowd too. But what does all these bring for us? I'm happy to say that I've learnt my lesson from spending way too much and am still learning to have a better perspective of money to letting it go for better use and also not let it fritter away.

And the milk madness in China? Greed led some people, don't know who they were, that added melamine to diluted milk to cheat and in the processes kill babies or get them sick. It's greed and greed and more greed! Wonder if these people feel guilt that they have caused death and hurt these poor babies.

At class today, I had a discussion with the kids about money and if money brings happiness. Well, honestly, it doesn't. Families, friendships, and relationship break down and split up because of money. Sure money is great but there are more important issues than money. I remember Pastor Mark said that if you're not contented when you have enough and you won't be contented when you have more. To me, that's pretty true. I remember once a friend said to me that all her rich friends are happy and I guess she's probably trying to say she'll be happy if she had more. But the reality is that money does and will not bring us happiness. I know that because I've been through it. People have turned to worshipping money and therefore the mayhem is here, on the way, or whatever. It's the consequences that we're paying for now.

With my life so far, I'm glad and very thankful with what I have now. I've been blessed with plenty and I'm not hankering for more. Over these couple of years in HK, I've been learning money lessons. Yes, I still have a shopping habit and I still love beautiful things but I'm learning not to want and have it all. I'm learning to put aside for a rainy day and also for our future abode in Singapore. We sold our flat and we want to buy a home sometime next year or whenever. And I still live with the constant reminder from myself that I'm blessed with loads of love and having money is always a bonus that has been bestowed upon me.

In Sickness and in Health

Recently a good friend of mine in Hong Kong was hospitalised. I was on the way to class when I recevied a text from her boyfriend that she was hospitalised. Of course, my heart skipped a beat and was worried for her. But I had class to go. Went to class, felt quite unsettled and at break time, made a run and went right to the hospital.

Saw her in the hospital, another of our friend was already there spending time with her. Her boyfriend had to go and get some stuff for her. Seeing her lying on the bed got me wondering about things. As usual, I think bloody too much. She was sick, didn't look too good but her spirits were up. She was surrounded by friends that probably made too much noise and were laughing away at silly jokes. Her boyfriend came back and joined in the fun. Not sure if it was really fun for the other patients because we made far too much noise. Am glad that she met this wonderful guy that did everything that he could to take care of her. And it also helped that he speaks Cantonese.

But as I left, I pondered and wondered......I'm used to living alone and now that Babe goes away so often, what would I do in case of an emergency like that? Would I know what to do? Do I know how to get to hospital and be able to converse in Cantonese when I'm in pain? And, importantly, do I have enough money to see me through private hospital? Got home and told Babe to make sure that his work insurance covers the both of us. And I thought, when I'm in hospital, will I be like my friend who was surrounded by 'her family' in HK? And my scariest thought, at my funeral, will they be people that turn to say goodbye and we'll miss her or will it be few and people saying, good riddance!

Got me thinking about life. Am I living a life that would make leave positive impacts on people around me? Am I making a difference to people around me? Look, don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for praise or like, wow, she's such a great person. Honestly, I don't care for all those praise but i want to lead a life that is of a positive impact, influence to people that are around me. I don't want to lead a life with regret. This friend of mine, she's a wonderful person and I love her company and she made me think of my life. Thanks, hun!

And this Monday, Lehman Bros collapse, Merrill Lynch is being bought out, AIG in trouble. In other words, money troubles around the world. Got me thinking, so what with money? Bad time comes, it goes. And things happen. What's the point of hoarding or envying others and wanting more and then more is never enough? Money is just money. If I have more, good. If I have less, well, that's fine. Doesn't really bother me. But just don't take away my Babe. Take everything away from me but not my Babe. I told a friend once, if I had to choose between whatever that I have now and Babe, take everything from me, I just want my Babe. Money can always be earned again but it'll take me more than a lifetime to find another Babe.

There are Beautiful People Part 2

A couple of days ago I was watching Channelnewsasia and there was a program that really touched me. Belinda Lee, a Singaporean TV host, went to India to visit a few orphanages that's run by an Indian guy. I forget his name. I was very touched by the show. This guy basically gave up his life and everything to help these poor kids in various parts of India. There was this scene that as he and Belinda were driving away from an orphanage, he was tearing away and so was Belinda. He said that even after a few years of running these orphanages, he still feels the same each time he has to leave one. Belinda Lee really amazed and surprised me too. She didn't hesitate to hug and kiss the kids. It didn't matter to her if they were grubby or not! I wonder will I be able to do what she did.

I remember Pastor Heng telling us about Iris when she visited Kenya. She was the same. It didn't matter if the kids were grubby and not showered for weeks in Kenya, she still gave hugs and kisses to the kids that she saw in Kenya. Seriously, I don't know if I can ever do that. But I guess if one day God calls me, I'll obey.

There are always beautiful people around us. But at the same time, there were people who do good to get publicity and to gain fame for themselves. Those people to me, have the wrong motives and they don't impress me. To do good to get famous in my humble opinion is wrong. But to do good without wanting the fame but in the process of it, fame comes, that's a different story. I like Brad and Angelina. I don't care what people say. But to me, they do good because they want to do good. They don't hobnob in Hollywood but they get down and get their hands dirty to try to make changes to the world. In my books, they are truly beautiful people both inside and outside.

There are Beautiful People

There are beautiful people in the world but sometimes we forget. I'm not talking about superficial, drop dead gorgeous kind of beautiful people. But rather, people with beautiful hearts and souls.

A couple of months ago, there was this little girl in HOLF that captured my heart. I really hoped that we could adopt her. But we prayed about it and we felt that it was not God's calling. Sure, I felt bad. She has Thalessamia Major. Its a lifelong illness that may not have a cure. Please do not get it wrong that just because she's sick that we feel that she's not good enough for us. But rather it's the opposite. We felt that we may not be financially able enough to provide for her. We prayed that a family that has a little more will come forward.

True enough, prayers were answered. A couple is in the processing of adopting her. The lady works part time from home and her husband's company's health insurance will help take care of all the health bills. They have enough researched for stem cell transplant for her. I met them and am in awe of the fact that they have thought it through and they are willing to go through and invest in the child. Thank God for them! A really beautiful couple and I pray that things will work out for little Lok Yee. She deserves a nice family who will love her for everything.

As for us, we will continue to pray for God's guidance in terms of adoption. We've told the welfare department to match us only in January as Babe will be really busy for the next couple of months. He's back but he's probably leaving in a week or a couple of days. So...we shall see and leave everything in God's hands!

Back to Work

While my ex-colleagues in Spore are having their one week Sept break, today is my second day at work/school. On Sunday night, I had problems falling asleep because I was excited to go to work. I know it all sounds very strange.

When I came back to Hong Kong for meetings before school started, I was even excited and happy to see some of the students at the supermarket, on the ferry or just up and about. It's really weird and abnormal to me that I genuinely miss the kids and that I'm actually looking forward to work. It has never occurred to me that I'll actually feel that good about going to work.

When I think about it, I guess for the longest time, I am finally happy at work. And to a certain extent, I feel that I am making impacts on these kids and forming relationships with them. I was even invited to lunch with some of the last year's primary six kids! With my work 'family', there's still room to grow but I am happy. I like my colleagues, I'm not drawn into their gossips or politics as I don't quite understand what's going on at times and I've no interest in politics or climbing up the corporate ladder so basically, I don't care. But I must say that most of my colleagues are helpful and they try to go out of their way to help me.

Yes, I am happy and at peace with work. Am looking forward to work tomorrow even though I wish that I can sleep in a little later. But well, one can't have everything. And....more importantly, Babe is coming back tomorrow!!!! YA!!! Can't wait!