Still

For the past year, I've been feeling that my life is on a roller coaster ride with the lows more than the highs. And the feeling of wanting to walk away and giving up has never felt stronger and me feeling a lot more drained than before.

In my head, I know that it will all come to pass and things will be fine again. But in my heart, I question God, why? Why are things not as smooth sailing when I think I've obeyed and do what you want? Why are things still so tough? Can't you make things easier and why don't you just make everything nice and rosy again. Yes, those have been my thoughts for this past year. And each time, I feel low, God sends someone, something or some situation to let me know that I'm not alone in the walk. And I hear God telling me, 'Even though you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death, I'm walking right beside you.'

Last Sunday, towards the end of the service, this song was sung.

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still, know You are God

Immediately, I felt a sense of relief. I know in the midst of life's storms, I have a faithful God who is right beside me throughout. Yes, a tough year. Decisions made, prayers prayed and answered and some prayers, still waiting for answers and some was answered with a no. But at the end of it all, I know that my heavenly father knows what best for me and I just need to trust in Him. And no, the difficult journey is not quite over. We are still praying for a couple of things but God has answered some major prayers of ours in which we shall share in the near future. But as of now, I'm learning to be still and listen to God and not let the worries of the world overwhelm me but rather to cast my burdens on Him.

Leave of Absence?

Oh wow! I've just noticed that I've not blogged close to five months. This must be my longest silence on my blog. There were and are reasons why I've chose not to blog as much. But guess in time to come, I'll write about it.

So summer holidays came and left. It's been good. I try not to complain. Spent a week in New York with bestie and then rest of summer in Hong Kong. It was a good time with the family. Mum and Jojo came to visit. Stayed with us for ten days. After that, Jacqui and Joel came to stay with us for four days. Yes, there were times that the tiny apartment seemed crowded but I was really glad and happy to be surrounded by family. When we couldn't go to Singapore, Singapore came to us.

One Sunday night, we invited a friend over for dinner. He turned called and asked us if he could bring a friend over. He brought over a asylum refugee seeker who has been in Hong Kong for more than nine years. At that time, I've been feeling the weight on my shoulders asking God why some things are not turning out the way that I wanted. And during that dinner, it dawned on me, all my problems and issues pale, really pale in comparison to this guy sitting at my dining table. And that's when it also hit me, be thankful. I'm beyond blessed and yet I'm not thankful.

Yes, I had and still have to learn gratitude and thankfulness. Enjoy a couple of pics. Can't wait to see family again.

Nothing else matters to me other than family and friends that have become family. Can't wait to see family in Spore and Australia and bestie in America again.