Family Visits

For the last two weeks we've had a couple of visitors. It started with mum coming in and then Jacqui. They were enroute to China to bring grandma home. So they stopped by in HK to see little Cha Cha and hung out a lot with him.

Jacqui working out with Josias. She used to work with Tumble Tots and she's an expert in this area. Cha Cha totally love playing and working out with her.

Mum playing with Josias. Sorry, not a very flattering picture of her. She brought and bought him heaps or clothes and toys. Very loved child!

Right after mum and Jacqui leaving, Babe's parents arrive to meet Cha Cha. I was kinda surprised to how they took to him. They totally love him. They would wake up early and play with him. They can't stop carrying and cuddling him.
It's truly a blessing to know that Cha Cha is really loved by all his grandparents. He's such a blessing to us.

Then yesterday, Uncle Larry and Aunty Amy stopped by in Hong Kong for a day. Uncle Larry is my dad's brother. They were holidaying in Macau and thought that they'll pop over to Hong Kong just to see Cha Cha.

Even thought we live in Hong Kong, so far from family, it is nice to have them drop by and see us. We're so thankful that everyone in the family accepts Cha Cha and totally love him to bits. We're always thankful for the support from family and friends. Can't wait to bring Cha Cha home!

Randomness or God's hands at Work

Yesterday when church service ended, we went to the creche to pick Cha Cha up. Babe went to the elevator while I was trying to out our huge SUV stroller out at the stroller parking area. After moving and pushing, I got to the elevator and found Babe laughing and talking to someone. Someone that I didn't know. I was kinda surprised. If you know Babe, he doesn't talk much to people.

So I was like, Hey Babe, and you are? Babe quickly told me that he was his ex-colleague in Singapore. I was like, huh, what? Then Babe's friend explained that they were in HK for a holiday and decided to come to church. So I asked how did they find this church that we're at. Babe and him didn't keep in contact after Babe left his company and move back to HK. He basically told us that someone recommended them to attend our church. What he said next, was what got to me.

He told me that when they came to church, he knew that he was going to meet Babe at church. He knew somehow that he was going to run into Babe. And sure we did. And what made it even more interesting was that we met at the elevator at the end of service. He wasn't even sure if that was Babe as Babe was carrying Cha Cha and to a certain extent, he was really shocked to meet Babe.

We had dinner together last night. It was nice to meet and know him. And I believe that God has a reason for us to meet. There are quite a number of English speaking churches in Hong Kong. Plus, there's 3 services at church. And even so, there's heaps of people at church. And for us to run into each other, I wouldn't say that it's impossible but rather, quite hard. I don't know what's God's reasons for us to run into them. But I'm sure that there's a purpose and reason.

Shopping Habits

Last Sunday, after church we were in Zara before heading home. I was looking at buying little Cha Cha a pair of denim shorts. Babe picked out a black top and asked me to get it as he thought it would look good on me. I looked at the price and went, 'What HK400? That's a lot of money, you know?' Babe stared at my quizzically, and he said, 'No, it's not. Get it if you like it.' So I did get it.

Then I thought to myself. Well, before Cha Cha arrived, I would buy it without second thoughts. Why would I be mulling over to buy or not. Then Thursday came. Mum arrived and we went to meet Babe for dinner before heading home. Mum was looking at a bag and she bought it. I saw a bag that I kinda liked. But again, I mulled over it and thought over it. This time, it was 10 times the price of my shirt in Zara. Finally, I told Babe, no, I'm not getting it. He was like, why? Thought you love it, it's in your favorite color too!

On Monday night when I was having dinner with a couple of ladies, I told them that there is a shift in me. A huge shift. I consider and think more. I think if I need or want it. And if it's a want, how bad is the want. I've got to think of college funds and school fees and the savings fund for 'what ifs'. There's a lot more into my shopping and spending habits. I can't just buy anything that I fancy now because there's Cha Cha that I've got to consider.

We're going to Maldives for 4 nights over summer without Cha Cha. It'll be a short getaway for the both of us. We've gotten our tickets but not our accommodation. Once again I'm mulling over how much we should pay for. If Cha Cha didn't arrive, I would have picked out whatever I fancy.

In writing all that, does Cha Cha cram our style? Is he a hindrance? No, I enjoy him! He's making a nice positive change in our lives. So we're no long selfish DINKs. Double Income No Kids couple. We've morphed into a regular family of three and loving every moment of it!

A Helper is Not a Slave

I know this post might offend some people but seriously, if you're offended, that's good! I'm glad that you're offended because it's people like you that irk me!

I've been reading some stuff on some Singapore mummy forums and been reading a bit about Singapore's news online about helpers also known as maids in Singapore. Well, let me put out this disclaimer, it's not perfect in Hong Kong as well. There has been cases of helper abuse and helpers that abuse their kids. But it's not always reported in the English newspapers so I might be ignorant of them. Anyway, some of those things written and reported really annoyed me!

Helpers need their days off is the first thing that I don't understand why do people have a problem with. When I was growing up in Spore, we always had a helper. And our helpers always had at least a day off once a month. That was mandated by the government. The current helper that we have in Spore has been with the family for more than a decade and she's happy with just a day off a month. She doesn't want more and she's duly compensated for not taking more time off. I secretly suspect that she enjoys JC's company. Our helper has every Sunday off. We're happy for her to take that time off to chill and hang out with her friends. She needs a social circle too. When we were interviewing, there was this helper that asked us if it's fine for us for her to take a Wed evening off as she has to go to church and she'll take the other half day off on Sunday. We're fine. We told her yes but well, she didn't want to work with us because she's afraid of dogs. We respect that. Why can't helpers have days off? Can you imagine going to work every single day without days off? And it's worse for helpers as they live where they work. It can be mentally torturous not to have a day off. When our helper, J, comes back from her day off, we tell her not to bother to clean the kitchen that I've messed up and just have a rest. No need to care for Cha Cha or make his milk or anything. But she always ends up cleaning and washing and helping me. I appreciate it and I tell her thanks for helping. A day off once a week goes a long way. She comes back happy, refreshed and recharged.

The other thing that I read on the forum was, 'OMG, my helper has a hp!' Well, a hp is a mobile phone. And I'm thinking, what's the big deal? Sure there has been instances that helpers yak and yak on the phone and the phone is almost surgically attached to their ears. I've seen that. J has a mobile phone. And we don't bother to ask her for her phone number. We don't want to be checking on her and asking her when she is coming home and stuff like that. She seems to be discreet with her mobile phone usage and we're happy. Mum's helper has her friend or cousin or sister calling her on the landline once or twice a week and we don't care. She has a mobile phone too but it was given by our family so that we can communicate with her when she brings JC to school or wherever. To us, the key is mutual respect. She respects us and we do the same for her. But if there's a need, yes, we would tell her to use her phone in the evenings or when little boy is sleeping or when she is free.

The other thing that gets to me is the hours, the long hours that some helpers work. There was this mummy that wrote that her helper is up by 6ish and goes to bed by 11ish or even later. She wrote and complain that helper is constantly hungry, house is not clean and a long list. I'm thinking, gee....how much work does she have to work? In some families, the extended family consisting of grandparents, parents, 2 or 3 kids plus a pet live together. The kids maybe toddlers and needing care. How many people does she have to clean after or look after? How much cooking, washing, cleaning does she really have to do? And some of these helpers are barely out of their teens or some under 20. Can they cope with screaming babies, nagging grandparents and employers that pick on them? If I were in the helper's shoes, I'll probably try to run away!

And the last on my list for today...is food. A helper is a person just like us. They have basic needs. They are not lower on the hierarchy system. If you bring your helper out for dinner, order her a portion of food. Feed her. I hate it when I see helpers eating the leftovers from their employers when they are done with the food. A helper is not a dog. When we bring our helper out, we tell her that we're ordering food for her and she eats with us. She gets her own plate. Our helper only eats pork, seafood and vegetables. We don't cook pork at home. So we buy her pork and tell her to cook her own food. She eats whatever that's at home. When I bake, she gets a portion. When I make pancakes, she gets some too. To me, she's a person that has to be treated with dignity.

Sometimes, I think it's no wonder helpers act out on their employers' children because they are treated badly. It's hard dealing with homesickness and living away from home with no friends. It gets worse when there's no freedom and having so much work to do. Yes, there are errant helpers. I don't deny it. But there are some that are nice and deserve to be treated better and with respect.

Dear Grandpa Part 2

Dear Grandpa,

Last night as I was falling asleep, I thought of you. Well, quite a bit has happened since the last that I wrote to you. But all good, nothing bad at all.

Firstly, I'm glad to let you know that grandma will be heading back to Spore in about 2 weeks' time. We got her a new passport, her fine for overstaying in China has been paid. Mummy and Jacqui will be flying in and then bringing her back to Spore. We're all quite excited about her heading home. We believe that it'll be good for her mental and emotional well-being. The rest of the family except for Babe and me saw her over Chinese New Year. She's doing great. They've told her that she'll be heading home and she's glad about the decision.

When grandma gets to Spore, she'll live with mum for a while till she and Jacqui get an apartment. Well, I don't really know when will that happen. Don't have the details but I know that Jacqui is looking into that. We know that grandma likes to be independent and if Jacqui lives with her, Jacqui will be able to look out for her. Will let you know more when that happens.

Grandpa, another thing that I really want to tell you is that Josias Noel Yong En SEET arrived on the 31st of Dec. Well, he was the reason why we didn't go to see grandma in China over CNY. Grandpa, he's a lovely boy. We're very thankful that God has sent him to us. When we get back to Spore this summer, we'll bring him to see you and over time, we'll tell him of your legacy. We'll tell him how you adopted mum and in turn we know that it's God's will for us to adopt him.

He's been with us for about 3 months and he's a bundle of joy. He hardly cries or fusses. He cries only when he's hungry and tired. But most of the time, he's a smiley little boy. He's able to sit up and crawl a little. He's trying to stand too. You'll love him if you meet him. He's quite vocal, he likes babbling and talking to himself. We brought him out for dinner and he was squealing and babbling to himself. He's really cute.

Grandpa, I'm really glad of how things are panning out. We're praying every day that Josias will grow up to be a man after God's heart. We want him to be a God fearing man. We pray for patience as we teach and love him. Thanks grandpa for adopting mummy and in turn, thanks for loving us and giving us all these happy memories of you. I'm really glad that I'm the oldest and thus I'm able to remember you more than my sisters.

Enjoy the photos of Josias. I'm sure you already know how he looks like. This is probably his first time at the beach. And the girl, is one of our friend's daughter from cell group in church. He had a blast playing in the sand.