Well, we've been waiting for more than a year. For some, waiting for more than a year. For some, the wait for more than a year is no biggie. But the reality for me is that, it is way too long for me.
Some time last February, we were approved to be in the pool of parents to be matched with a baby. I admit somewhere in May, we were matched with a baby, however, we did have to turn down the baby due to reasons that I'd rather not discuss. It did break my heart real bad. But it was with much prayer that I survived it. And the wait continues.
There are days that I wonder and ponder if it's time to throw in the towel. And there are days that I'm fine with it and yes, it'll be fine. Thursdays are always hard for me. Then there are days that I question myself. Maybe God knows and understands that we are not ready to be parents. Or He knows that we'll make bad parents and therefore we're not being matched. But then again, I know that God has planned that will for us. And then when I'm really about to throw in the towel, I hear a whisper encouraging me, telling me that He's in control. Be patient, and wait upon Him.
So the journey bring us here. God is in control, I'll continue planning my travels. And if the baby comes great! And praise the Lord and if not, we'll continue waiting and understanding that His will is always perfect and so is his timing. It took Babe and me 10 years to get married and maybe, it's going to take us 10 years to cradle a baby in our arms.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The First Date
Before I went back to Singapore, I was watching some random comedy on telly. The character in the comedy would go to the restaurant where he brought his wife to for their first date on his birthday every year. After watching it, I was quite inspired to get Babe to go to the restaurant where he brought me to for our first date.
Looking back, we had out first date probably more than 18 years ago. In Singapore's standards, it's almost a miracle that the restaurant is still there. Well, we didn't make it there as there were other places that I really wanted to have my meals at. And yes, for those who are curious, our first date was at Jack's Place at West Coast Recreation Centre. Yes, some obscure place. When I think back on our first date, I still get the warm and fuzzy feeling. I'm really grateful that after all these years, we're growing more in love with each other.
A few weeks ago, I read in some reports that divorce rates went up last year because of the financial tsunami. Obviously, those marriages could not withstand the test of money. But then again, it is through difficult times that marriages are tested and some pass with flying colours and sad to say, some fail. I'm truly thankful that through the years of marriage, we have not been presented with such difficult tests. And I pray that if we do encounter these tests, we'll pass with flying colours. Anyway, over time, I've realised that having Babe is more important than anything else!
Looking back, we had out first date probably more than 18 years ago. In Singapore's standards, it's almost a miracle that the restaurant is still there. Well, we didn't make it there as there were other places that I really wanted to have my meals at. And yes, for those who are curious, our first date was at Jack's Place at West Coast Recreation Centre. Yes, some obscure place. When I think back on our first date, I still get the warm and fuzzy feeling. I'm really grateful that after all these years, we're growing more in love with each other.
A few weeks ago, I read in some reports that divorce rates went up last year because of the financial tsunami. Obviously, those marriages could not withstand the test of money. But then again, it is through difficult times that marriages are tested and some pass with flying colours and sad to say, some fail. I'm truly thankful that through the years of marriage, we have not been presented with such difficult tests. And I pray that if we do encounter these tests, we'll pass with flying colours. Anyway, over time, I've realised that having Babe is more important than anything else!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Back in HK Again
Just got back from Spore for Chinese New Year. I had a really good time being back with family. Well, this time, I didn't have much time to see any friends. Managed only to catch up Angie and Sharon. It was also good seeing Gabriel, Sharon's son. It was nice to see little Gabriel grow so well and quickly. When I first met him, he was only slightly more than a month old. Now, he's running and squealing with joy.
The highlights of the trip was spending time with Babe and JC. It was nice seeing Babe again and just hanging out with him. Even waking up in the morning and sitting in the car with him did not seem like a chore. It was good just sitting with him and enjoying his presence. Babe has been travelling quite a fair bit and it's always nice to enjoy his company. Well, it won't be too long to me seeing him again.
The other highlight is seeing JC. One of my greatest fear with JC was that she might not recognize and know me. I would hate it if my niece didn't know me or be afraid of me. I want to have a great relationship with my niece. I want my niece to know that I'll always be there for her. And it's really nice to know that she does recognize me now. She's grown quite a bit since I saw her over Christmas. She crawled to me when I called her and she would stretch her hands out to me to ask me to carry her. And when others carry her away from me, she'd whimper and look at me. What an angel! I already miss her!
Anyway, would pose more pics soon. It was a great trip. And once again, I have mixed feelings about living in HK. I love it but at the same time, I miss people in Singapore.
The highlights of the trip was spending time with Babe and JC. It was nice seeing Babe again and just hanging out with him. Even waking up in the morning and sitting in the car with him did not seem like a chore. It was good just sitting with him and enjoying his presence. Babe has been travelling quite a fair bit and it's always nice to enjoy his company. Well, it won't be too long to me seeing him again.
The other highlight is seeing JC. One of my greatest fear with JC was that she might not recognize and know me. I would hate it if my niece didn't know me or be afraid of me. I want to have a great relationship with my niece. I want my niece to know that I'll always be there for her. And it's really nice to know that she does recognize me now. She's grown quite a bit since I saw her over Christmas. She crawled to me when I called her and she would stretch her hands out to me to ask me to carry her. And when others carry her away from me, she'd whimper and look at me. What an angel! I already miss her!
Anyway, would pose more pics soon. It was a great trip. And once again, I have mixed feelings about living in HK. I love it but at the same time, I miss people in Singapore.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
The One
I was talking to Eve yesterday and she asked me about Babe and how did I know that he was the one. I told her that I knew that he was the one that I know i want to grow old with. He's the one that when I wake up, I smile and tell myself, that this is the man that I love! I told her that Babe is the one because I can imagine him being the father of my children and that when I'm old and wrinkly, I know that no matter what he'll still love me. And if I need a kidney or some liver, he'll glad give it to me. I probably can never describe his love and that's why I know that he's the one!
This morning when I went to church, the pastor mentioned Heidi Barker, a missionary who started with 80 orphans and the number swelled to probably more than 10,000 now. When the pastor asked how she does it, she says that she just think of the one more. The one more that she can help. The pastor went on giving the analogy of The Starfish. The boy was on the beach that was full of starfish. He was throwing one by one back into the water. His friend asked him,' there's so many, what difference is it going to make?' He said that the difference we make to the one, may seem small but to the one, it is significant. It was a huge encouragement to me. There have been days that I wake up and I wonder, maybe I should walk out of the adoption situation. But hearing that I realized that God was speaking to me. He wants me to do His will. To me, it was loud and clear. Do things His way and never my way.
The adoption journey has not been easy I have to say. In the beginning, even dad said how much of difference will we make? And I told him, dad, to the one that we adopt. It will make a huge difference. Now, my parents are our greatest supporters. With friends, some of my friends asked the same, why adopt? Why not just give money? But listen, it makes a lot of difference because we're obeying THE ONE which is God the Almighty and it will make a huge difference to the one that we adopt. We don't know when will God send the one to us. But whenever He sends, we're ready with open arms. And God has been good to us in maturing and leading us and showing us that time is His and He is leading us.
The One, is very personal to me. Recently, and since I'm pretty much alone at home most of the time, I do wonder at times if I am one alone by myself. However, I wake up on days knowing that I'm One, yes, One. One with the Lord God Almighty. Yes! Praise the Lord! And every morning when I get to work, I get on to msn and I am reminded again that I'm one with Babe. Yes, one with Babe even though we're miles apart. And yes, even more miles apart tonight since he's in Sydney for work. Today, it become more apparent to me that I never walk alone because He walks with me, my God walks with me!
Just as I am writing this post, I'm listening and watching a sermon video from a church that I didn't attend because I was attending another church. The speaker said, have faith of a mustard seed. A great reminder. Faith is my name. And God has a reason for my name. And the speaker said this, 'How big is your God?' And yes, my God is so big that it's beyond me! Bigger than the universal and God will walk with us holding our hands no matter it is by the river or through the valley. He's always with us.
This morning when I went to church, the pastor mentioned Heidi Barker, a missionary who started with 80 orphans and the number swelled to probably more than 10,000 now. When the pastor asked how she does it, she says that she just think of the one more. The one more that she can help. The pastor went on giving the analogy of The Starfish. The boy was on the beach that was full of starfish. He was throwing one by one back into the water. His friend asked him,' there's so many, what difference is it going to make?' He said that the difference we make to the one, may seem small but to the one, it is significant. It was a huge encouragement to me. There have been days that I wake up and I wonder, maybe I should walk out of the adoption situation. But hearing that I realized that God was speaking to me. He wants me to do His will. To me, it was loud and clear. Do things His way and never my way.
The adoption journey has not been easy I have to say. In the beginning, even dad said how much of difference will we make? And I told him, dad, to the one that we adopt. It will make a huge difference. Now, my parents are our greatest supporters. With friends, some of my friends asked the same, why adopt? Why not just give money? But listen, it makes a lot of difference because we're obeying THE ONE which is God the Almighty and it will make a huge difference to the one that we adopt. We don't know when will God send the one to us. But whenever He sends, we're ready with open arms. And God has been good to us in maturing and leading us and showing us that time is His and He is leading us.
The One, is very personal to me. Recently, and since I'm pretty much alone at home most of the time, I do wonder at times if I am one alone by myself. However, I wake up on days knowing that I'm One, yes, One. One with the Lord God Almighty. Yes! Praise the Lord! And every morning when I get to work, I get on to msn and I am reminded again that I'm one with Babe. Yes, one with Babe even though we're miles apart. And yes, even more miles apart tonight since he's in Sydney for work. Today, it become more apparent to me that I never walk alone because He walks with me, my God walks with me!
Just as I am writing this post, I'm listening and watching a sermon video from a church that I didn't attend because I was attending another church. The speaker said, have faith of a mustard seed. A great reminder. Faith is my name. And God has a reason for my name. And the speaker said this, 'How big is your God?' And yes, my God is so big that it's beyond me! Bigger than the universal and God will walk with us holding our hands no matter it is by the river or through the valley. He's always with us.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Hair
So today I sat in the salon for more than five hours. Come to think of it, it's not that long, I've sat longer than five hours. Think the longest I've been in the salon was probably eight hours? And seriously, that's why I try not to go to the salon as often as I like. It's almost rare that I get my hair done in two hours. I probably go like every quarter and that's good. Anymore often, I'll probably be broke!
The visit to the hair salon almost always start with me wanting a cut and then, throw in colour and then throw in a treatment and viola, that's like a minimum of four hours sitting. And once I find myself seated in the seat, I wonder to myself, oh why, oh why? Guess, it's in the name of vanity. Haha, everyone that knows me, knows that vanity is a part of me.
Today while sitting in the chair in the salon, my chemical technician was rolling my hair in curls, I remarked to him about me having truckloads of hair. And he said that he didn't noticed it. He said that in all his years of colouring and highlighting my hair, he didn't realised it until today when I wanted a perm. And he went on saying that he's being doing my hair for five years and he didn't know that I wanted a perm. I sat there not wanting to correct him. I probably know him for about three and the half years or thereabouts. Then it hit me, oh my goodness, this August, I'll be in HK for four years. And I've not really see moving back to Singapore on the horizon. And come to think of it, I seriously don't know when will I be moving back.
As I sat there, the nice shampoo boy who tended to me, was real nice, coming back and forth to me asking if I wanted more magazines, do I want more tea and are my ears burning? Towards the end, he told me that he feels that when someone sits in the seat in the salon, it's almost like taking a flight somewhere. He was saying that in the salon, one can only go to the toilet, drink and eat and that's almost the same as being on the plane. Oh except for inflight entertainment but I had my iphone so that almost covers my inflight entertainment. I looked at him and was kinda amazed, I've never thought of that analogy. When I pondered on it, oh mine, I could have reached Singapore with the amount of time that I sat on that seat.
Don't worry, my salon, Aveda didn't pay or give me enough of a discount to blog about them. My hair stylist gives me a regular 20 percent off but of course, I would love it if he gives me more! I must say that Aveda and Chris, my stylist is probably one of the best that I've been to so far. Best for me at this point of time because I can't or rather don't want to pay more than what I'm paying now. Chris and Sampras, my chemical technician always understand and know what I want. There has never been once, I turn around and ask them what on earth have they done with my hair. Have always been happy walking out. I remember two summers ago, I took the risk and told Chris to cut my hair short, I had rather long hair at that time. I told him that I wanted short hair, real short. He shook his head and said, no, too drastic, I took his advice and thank God, he was right. I had a nice bob. There were times that I strayed from Aveda thinking I don't want to pay that kind of money anymore, but very often, I head back to them like the prodigal daughter.....And after today, I totally understand, you pay for what you get.
Okie, that's too much of my blog of my hair. Can you tell that I love my hair? I'm now Blackilocks, you know, Goldilocks with black hair? Or maybe a Chinese gollywog?
The visit to the hair salon almost always start with me wanting a cut and then, throw in colour and then throw in a treatment and viola, that's like a minimum of four hours sitting. And once I find myself seated in the seat, I wonder to myself, oh why, oh why? Guess, it's in the name of vanity. Haha, everyone that knows me, knows that vanity is a part of me.
Today while sitting in the chair in the salon, my chemical technician was rolling my hair in curls, I remarked to him about me having truckloads of hair. And he said that he didn't noticed it. He said that in all his years of colouring and highlighting my hair, he didn't realised it until today when I wanted a perm. And he went on saying that he's being doing my hair for five years and he didn't know that I wanted a perm. I sat there not wanting to correct him. I probably know him for about three and the half years or thereabouts. Then it hit me, oh my goodness, this August, I'll be in HK for four years. And I've not really see moving back to Singapore on the horizon. And come to think of it, I seriously don't know when will I be moving back.
As I sat there, the nice shampoo boy who tended to me, was real nice, coming back and forth to me asking if I wanted more magazines, do I want more tea and are my ears burning? Towards the end, he told me that he feels that when someone sits in the seat in the salon, it's almost like taking a flight somewhere. He was saying that in the salon, one can only go to the toilet, drink and eat and that's almost the same as being on the plane. Oh except for inflight entertainment but I had my iphone so that almost covers my inflight entertainment. I looked at him and was kinda amazed, I've never thought of that analogy. When I pondered on it, oh mine, I could have reached Singapore with the amount of time that I sat on that seat.
Don't worry, my salon, Aveda didn't pay or give me enough of a discount to blog about them. My hair stylist gives me a regular 20 percent off but of course, I would love it if he gives me more! I must say that Aveda and Chris, my stylist is probably one of the best that I've been to so far. Best for me at this point of time because I can't or rather don't want to pay more than what I'm paying now. Chris and Sampras, my chemical technician always understand and know what I want. There has never been once, I turn around and ask them what on earth have they done with my hair. Have always been happy walking out. I remember two summers ago, I took the risk and told Chris to cut my hair short, I had rather long hair at that time. I told him that I wanted short hair, real short. He shook his head and said, no, too drastic, I took his advice and thank God, he was right. I had a nice bob. There were times that I strayed from Aveda thinking I don't want to pay that kind of money anymore, but very often, I head back to them like the prodigal daughter.....And after today, I totally understand, you pay for what you get.
Okie, that's too much of my blog of my hair. Can you tell that I love my hair? I'm now Blackilocks, you know, Goldilocks with black hair? Or maybe a Chinese gollywog?
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