Saturday in Singapore

Babe and I flew back to Singapore last night. Saw little Jo Claire last night. Her parents came to pick us up. She's such a cute and beautiful girl. This morning we went to Karen's wedding. What a beautiful bride. After the wedding we went to Jo Claire's party. Met other babies there. Will upload photos when we get back. So glad to be home. All thanks to Jo Claire. Was a little sad to leave her. It saddens me to think that the next time I'll see her will be either in July or August. Oh well, this is all part of living overseas. I have till Tuesday night to carry her.

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

On my Facebook update, I wrote this, 'Faith Jasmine Sim saw the sun and the rainbow amidst the rain. And no she's not mad. She's speaking metaphorically.'

I wrote on Thursday that it was one of my worse days in my life but today, the sun shone upon me and the rainbow appeared. Ummm, it's kinda raining in Hong Kong and the weather pretty much sucked today to be honest. But to me, sun was shining and the rainbow appeared. I was very much reminded of Noah. Despite the rain and the gloomy weather, I felt God's rays of love upon me and the rainbow reminded me of His promises for me.

On Thursday, I had to make one of the hardest decision in my life. It was very hard. And in making that decision, I questioned the whole idea of Christianity and the existance of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the Holy Trinity. As I laid in bed on Thursday in my sad and depressive state, I was about to be like Job's wife. Just deny, curse God and die. Oh not, literally, but rather let my Christian faith die. I thought and thought, why God? Why did You place the gift that I've been praying for ages in Your arms, stretched it out to me and then before I could even touch it, You snatched it away from me? Why this cruelty? I was about to throw in the towel on God. Then a little silent voice whispered to me,' Don't give in to the devil. Just have faith and trust.' I dried my tears, got out of bed and got ready for fellowship meeting with a group of Park Islanders. We got there and was blessed by the testimony by one of them.

Went to church yesterday and was really blessed by the guest speaker. Was reminded to rejoice. This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118: 24. I sat there thinking, yes, even in my sadness, I will rejoice and be glad in my sadness because I know no matter how deep and dark my tunnel is, God will always hold my hand and walk through my sadness and sorrow and into sunshine for He knows the best. And at the end of it all, I will emerge stronger in Him. Spoke to Dana via MSN and she was really encouraging me reminding me of God's goodness. Melissa was a great encourager too and the numerous friends that showed their love and concern. And always importantly, Babe. The patience and love that he has for me, is beyond description. And yes, God always has a plan.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8: 28

I know God always has a plan and that things will always work out and yes, the sun will always shine even though the day seem cold and gloomy. God will never fail!

One of the Worst Days

Today was one of the worst days in my life. It was so bad that I wished that I could just curl up in bed and stay there for the longest time. But well, a wish is not reality. Life goes on and emotions and feelings just have to take a back seat. And I've learnt at a very young age, whatever that does not break me, only makes me stronger. And that everything happens for a reason and the Almighty has a purpose for everything and He will make things right.

Don't worry, won't let those assholes get me down!

Ponderings

Check out the beautiful pics of Jo Claire. Joanne emailed them to me yesterday. Just love technology. Jo Claire is just beautiful, cute, adorable and all the wonderful adjectives that I can use and find to describe her.

In my last post, I blogged about living overseas and how sometimes I miss my family and friends. Well, today as I think of the reality of seriously heading home in about three and the half years' time, it made me sad. And I think, maybe I'm just not ready to head home after all. I seriously wonder if I do return back to Spore, what will I do? Do I return back to teach in a local school or be a stay at home mum and a driver? Seriously, what would I be returning home to?

I enjoy HK and what it has to offer me. The reality is that I'll never ever have the same amount of have something remotely close to what I have now. I admit that I'm very drawn to my salary. At the same time, is it just the money? I'm not that materialistic a person. I have quality time in HK. I've time to spend with Babe. We have been on more holidays together and really enjoying and exploring places more than when we were living in Spore. My stress level is low too. Like maybe at level 1? There isn't much that I'm really stressed about. And importantly, I find myself looking up to God more here in HK. I believe is the absence of family and close friends that I'm out of my comfort zone that I begin to reach out to God more. Am very thankful for that. Going to leave it to God. He'll tell me when it's time to head back to Spore. So at the end of the day, maybe I don't miss home that much after all. Well, I head back to Spore at least three times a year anyway.

There was something else that I read today that disturbed me quite a bit. Read on.

AMID the hustle and bustle of travellers passing through Changi Airport every evening, one man cuts a lonely figure. For about four nights each week, Mr Leong Chee Onn, 66, sleeps at the arrival hall of Terminal 2, with just a canvas bag of personal belongings in tow The airport has been his home for the past three months. 'I came here because I don't have a home I can go back to,' Mr Leong told The New Paper. Which isn't quite true. He shares a one-room rental flat with another man in his 70s, but says they can't get along. But whether airport or one-room flat, it's a far cry from his former home - a bungalow in Oei Tiong Ham Park, off Holland Road. Mr Leong said he was a multi-millionaire before he lost his fortune to failed business ventures in the early '90s. A check with the Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority showed that Mr Leong had been involved with 15 registered businesses between 1977 and 2007, most of which are inactive.His marriage fell apart after he went broke and he's no longer in touch with his ex-wife, who used to work in a bank. He also seldom sees his two children, who are in their 30s.

Mr Leong claimed that his housemate had punched him twice before and verbally abused him.'My housemate drinks a lot, smokes and gets violent sometimes. He just doesn't like me. He thinks I bring him bad luck,' he said. So Mr Leong decided three months ago to spend his nights outside the Raffles Place MRT station. But he ended up getting robbed, he claimed. And that was what made him decide to make the airport his home. On a typical day, he wakes up at about 6am and roams around Chinatown or Little India looking for part-time jobs, or he uses the Internet at his sister's office at Beach Road. He heads back to the airport in the evening, and sometimes has dinner at the staff canteen at Terminal 2. Meals, he says, are a luxury. To save money, he only eats one proper meal every two days. The rest of the time, he snacks on fruits and nuts whenever he feels hungry. When The New Paper approached him at the canteen on Wednesday evening, Mr Leong had just tucked into a few pieces of beancurd and a small plate of mutton curry, which cost him $3.50. It didn't include rice. On most days, he takes sponge baths at the airport toilets, but goes back to his flat for a proper shower 'once every few days'.

Lost two toes

Pointing to his gnarly, blackened feet, Mr Leong said he suffers from cholesterol embolism, a medical condition where the release of cholesterol causes obstruction of blood vessels. The condition resulted in him losing two of his toes to gangrene, and he now walks at a much slower pace. He said his feet hurt when he walks barefoot. He survives on a monthly allowance of about $300 from his 35-year-old daughter, and $300 from the Central Provident Fund (CPF). He was forced to stop work as a taxi driver about six years ago after he suffered a heart attack and was deemed unfit to work. Up till the late '80s, he made a good living as a sales manager with an oil company. This fact could not be verified independently. He then became a business consultant for a large liquefied natural gas plant in Indonesia, earning more than $300,000 a year. At his richest, Mr Leong estimated he was worth about $15 million. But several failed business ventures wiped him out, forcing him to sell his bungalow to clear his bank debts. Among his failures were an electronic waste management business, extracting semi-precious metals from electronic waste, and a company supplying engine repair tools to aviation companies. He recalled: 'In those days, the bank interest rate was very high. I put myself in a bad position by borrowing too much money, and I couldn't keep up with the payments.' In the early '90s, he was forced to sell nearly all his assets to clear his debts. He tried for several years to recover his losses by starting several small businesses - including one making signboards - but all were short-lived.

He recalled: 'My ex-wife told me that if I sold our house, she would leave. And she did.' Mr Leong claimed his ex-wife got most of the money left from the sale of the bungalow after settling his debts. He said he does not know what she is doing now - and he 'does not care'. He said: 'She said we still can be good friends, but that's not true.' His daughter is married 'with her own life to lead', while his son is studying abroad. But he said he is grateful for whatever his daughter gives him. Besides giving him $300 monthly, his daughter also tops up his Medisave account regularly to pay for his medical treatment. Mr Leong said he also receives some money from friends and relatives who visit him at the airport. He showed us a cheque for $100 given to him by a relative. With whatever money he has, Mr Leong sometimes buys supplements to improve his health. 'Whenever I get wounds on my feet, I apply manuka honey to them. Soldiers carry manuka honey to treat their wounds during wars,' he said. He also takes multi-vitamins to boost his immune system. Several times a week, a close friend visits him at the airport to keep him company. Said the friend, who declined to be named: 'I come here whenever I can. Sometimes I'll bring some food for him, or we'll eat together in the canteen. 'We would chit-chat and exchange views on current affairs.' More than 30 years ago, Mr Leong was his boss when they were with a French company, he said. 'It's very sad that he has ended up in this state, but he's a fighter.' For a man who has lost almost everything, Mr Leong is surprisingly stoic. He said: 'I don't believe in living in the past. You can't turn back the clock and think, 'I should have done this, or I should have done that'.

Not many demands

'I'm just happy to have survived a heart attack. I only hope for a reasonable lifestyle - I don't need a lot of money or a big house. I don't have many demands.' He added that he has not lost hope, even though he has lost his wealth, his marriage and his health. 'I still pray sometimes. I pray for peace, for good health, and for everybody to be happy. I believe the good Lord has His reasons for everything,' he said. When contacted, a spokesman for the Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore said that people who repeatedly stay overnight at the airport will be referred to the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

The spokesman added: 'CAAS does not condone persons staying overnight at the airport for extended periods of time.'

This was taken off from New Paper. It's kinda sad when money has taken over love. More than a year ago, Babe decided to take time off from work. I supported his decision and told him be it a break for him to reflect upon his life or for him to do his MBA, I'll be there for him. When I married him, it was for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. And I meant every single of those words that I recited after Pastor. Sure there were times that I really wanted to throw in the towel but it was never because of money. And yes, we always try to work it out and I must admit that Babe tries his best to calm and comfort me. It really makes me sad when I read the story. For me, take all my money but please don't take my Babe away.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

Childhood Memories

Recently, Sharon, my cousin in the States, emailed us, her cousins, a story that she wrote of our childhood. It was a memory from our carefree days when we used to play games that we would just pulled out from our imagination. We weren't rich neither were we paupers but we had cousins and when we cousins come together, creative juices followed and viola! A game starts.

Screams and squeals of delight can often be heard. We used to look forward to the weekends and holidays so much so that we could hang out and play. I would seriously never trade my memories of childhood for anything. For some people, they see their cousins probably once a year but for us, we used to see our cousins all the time. Well, of course, we grew up and life gets the better of us but there's always still contact. When I'm in States, I definitely will pop by to see Sharon, Eelynn and Jolynn. Will be missing them this year, hopefully, next year, I'll be able to catch up with them. Lina is still one of my best friend. She was my bride's maid at my wedding and boy, did she glow!

And now, I think of Jo Claire. She's my first niece and I wonder if we continue to live overseas, will I really get to know her and watch her grow? Will my future kids have the same close relationships that I have with my cousins as with Jo Claire? Eelynn and Jolynn used to live in Manila when they were kids. Every summer, almost without fail, they would hop on a plane and spend about 2 months in Spore. And I wonder will my future kids do the same and if so, will they have close bonds with their cousins like Eelynn, Jolynn and me? I was raised in a family that has close bonds not only with the nuclear family but also with our uncles, aunts and cousins. And I wonder living overseas, will my future kids have that.

Sometimes I wonder, when is it time to return home? In a way, I'm not really homesick or feel that it is time head home. I like it here in Hong Kong. I've close friends and am happy here but sure, there are times that I wish I was home just so that I can carry Jo Claire or see Ziwei's new baby, Daphne. But....it is all part of living overseas.

God's Providence

Every day, I'm beginning to see more of God's providence, of how He makes things work together, weaving bits and pieces to make it into something perfect. Things that seem, well, why can't it work, and now, I'm seeing, yes, I now know why.

This started with Easter hols. Well, I didn't make it back to Spore for Easter and was trying to figure out why. Wanted so badly to head home to spend time with family and friends. But no, went to Shanghai instead. Couldn't figure out why and why Shanghai? Why?

So things are falling into place now. Kinda know why now and God has even made it better. We went to Shanghai for 5 nights, experienced Shanghai and left Shanghai understanding that it would be hard for us to live there and also going to church would be a problem. Well, a couple of days ago, a call came for Babe asking him if he was interested in relocating to Shanghai. Without asking me, guess he knew my answer, he told them no. God brought us to Shanghai, showed us Shanghai letting us understand that living there can be very hard for us.

Next, well, Joanne gave birth and I wanted very badly to head home for Jo Claire's party. Spoke to work to ask them to give me a day and half of no pay leave. No problem, principal said go, go ahead. Before booking my ticket, I checked with my accounts clerk about the amount that's going to be deducted from my salary. Well, shock came, 5 days will be deducted. That would include, the public holiday and the weekend. I was like....what? Ridiculous! Talked with the clerk and tried to figure what we could do. Finally solution, take Mon and Tues off and no pay will be deducted! Woohoo!!!

Now, it gets even better, checked airfares, it was cheaper by 50 percent. But I called Krisflyer to see if I redeem my flight. And yes! It could be done. Flight is now free, except for taxes, which is not that much anyway. And....I even get to attend Karen's wedding. Karen was my colleague in Spore. A sister in Christ who reminded me constantly to lead a Godly life.

So there you go....things fall into place because God puts them into place. We attended a fellowship meeting in Park Island yesterday and I left feeling filled with God's love and understanding. Every day is a lesson that God is watching over me and He knows what I mean more than myself. Am very thankful!

Babe

Was meaning to blog yesterday but got kinda distracted by other stuff. Well, it was Babe's birthday yesterday. Had a nice day. And yes, we went to KFC for dinner. Were too lazy to head into Central for dinner so we headed into Tsingyi which is a suburb away. And his favourite restaurant there was too crowded too and so we had KFC. We do love KFC anyway.

Most of you would know that Babe and me dated for 10 years before getting married. When we got married, I was determined to make sure that this is the man that I would grow old graciously with and the man that I'll love for the rest of my lifetime. Well, not sure about the growing old graciously bit, spotted wrinkles, but after being with him for 17 years, I still get butterflies in the my tummy when I pick him up from the airport. He's still the one that when I open my eyes in the morning, I thank God for giving him to me. Sure he snores and I snore too, that can be annoying at times, but I love him all the same. It's his snoring that actually comforts me. Letting me know that he's sleeping right next to me.

Thanks Babe for loving me! I can never ask for anything better! Love you heaps!

Patchwork

I remember last Christmas when we were in States, we bought mum a Coach bag for Christmas. It was this beautiful patchwork bag. After giving to her, I mentioned to her that Babe that it was beautiful. And Mum heard and she immediately said, 'No! You're not having it now!' No, I didn't take it back from her. I love patchwork. One of the most beautiful blankets that I had when I was a child was actually a patchwork blanket that my grandmother made. She sewed it square by square and it was a beautiful pattern. It was something that money can never buy. Even now, as I look around, I wish that I can get another patchwork blanket but it's something that I've to make or find someone that loves me enough to make one for me.

I thought of patchwork because of things that has been happening now. Joanne gave birth last week and she was meant to give birth either this week or next week but she popped last week which we are all very thankful. Thankful because the swine flu or whatever flu is making everyone panic. Hospitals in Spore are allowing only one patient at one time and that would make Joanne super bored in the hospital. And mum has also gone for a short holiday. Dad also came back just in time for the birth of Jo Claire and he's off to China too. I thought of how things fall into place, how God the Almighty works in ways that He pulls everything together and makes things perfect. Like a beautiful piece of patchwork cloth. So yes, God knows every detail, every situation, and He works in ways that we do not know and He makes things perfect. Just perfect.