I know this post might offend some people but seriously, if you're offended, that's good! I'm glad that you're offended because it's people like you that irk me!
I've been reading some stuff on some Singapore mummy forums and been reading a bit about Singapore's news online about helpers also known as maids in Singapore. Well, let me put out this disclaimer, it's not perfect in Hong Kong as well. There has been cases of helper abuse and helpers that abuse their kids. But it's not always reported in the English newspapers so I might be ignorant of them. Anyway, some of those things written and reported really annoyed me!
Helpers need their days off is the first thing that I don't understand why do people have a problem with. When I was growing up in Spore, we always had a helper. And our helpers always had at least a day off once a month. That was mandated by the government. The current helper that we have in Spore has been with the family for more than a decade and she's happy with just a day off a month. She doesn't want more and she's duly compensated for not taking more time off. I secretly suspect that she enjoys JC's company. Our helper has every Sunday off. We're happy for her to take that time off to chill and hang out with her friends. She needs a social circle too. When we were interviewing, there was this helper that asked us if it's fine for us for her to take a Wed evening off as she has to go to church and she'll take the other half day off on Sunday. We're fine. We told her yes but well, she didn't want to work with us because she's afraid of dogs. We respect that. Why can't helpers have days off? Can you imagine going to work every single day without days off? And it's worse for helpers as they live where they work. It can be mentally torturous not to have a day off. When our helper, J, comes back from her day off, we tell her not to bother to clean the kitchen that I've messed up and just have a rest. No need to care for Cha Cha or make his milk or anything. But she always ends up cleaning and washing and helping me. I appreciate it and I tell her thanks for helping. A day off once a week goes a long way. She comes back happy, refreshed and recharged.
The other thing that I read on the forum was, 'OMG, my helper has a hp!' Well, a hp is a mobile phone. And I'm thinking, what's the big deal? Sure there has been instances that helpers yak and yak on the phone and the phone is almost surgically attached to their ears. I've seen that. J has a mobile phone. And we don't bother to ask her for her phone number. We don't want to be checking on her and asking her when she is coming home and stuff like that. She seems to be discreet with her mobile phone usage and we're happy. Mum's helper has her friend or cousin or sister calling her on the landline once or twice a week and we don't care. She has a mobile phone too but it was given by our family so that we can communicate with her when she brings JC to school or wherever. To us, the key is mutual respect. She respects us and we do the same for her. But if there's a need, yes, we would tell her to use her phone in the evenings or when little boy is sleeping or when she is free.
The other thing that gets to me is the hours, the long hours that some helpers work. There was this mummy that wrote that her helper is up by 6ish and goes to bed by 11ish or even later. She wrote and complain that helper is constantly hungry, house is not clean and a long list. I'm thinking, gee....how much work does she have to work? In some families, the extended family consisting of grandparents, parents, 2 or 3 kids plus a pet live together. The kids maybe toddlers and needing care. How many people does she have to clean after or look after? How much cooking, washing, cleaning does she really have to do? And some of these helpers are barely out of their teens or some under 20. Can they cope with screaming babies, nagging grandparents and employers that pick on them? If I were in the helper's shoes, I'll probably try to run away!
And the last on my list for today...is food. A helper is a person just like us. They have basic needs. They are not lower on the hierarchy system. If you bring your helper out for dinner, order her a portion of food. Feed her. I hate it when I see helpers eating the leftovers from their employers when they are done with the food. A helper is not a dog. When we bring our helper out, we tell her that we're ordering food for her and she eats with us. She gets her own plate. Our helper only eats pork, seafood and vegetables. We don't cook pork at home. So we buy her pork and tell her to cook her own food. She eats whatever that's at home. When I bake, she gets a portion. When I make pancakes, she gets some too. To me, she's a person that has to be treated with dignity.
Sometimes, I think it's no wonder helpers act out on their employers' children because they are treated badly. It's hard dealing with homesickness and living away from home with no friends. It gets worse when there's no freedom and having so much work to do. Yes, there are errant helpers. I don't deny it. But there are some that are nice and deserve to be treated better and with respect.