So....one week or so after my last post, I almost hit rock bottom. I thought I really almost lost the single thing that I love the most. But the reality is that, I didn't realize or rather was oblivious to what was going on or maybe I was so self absorbed that I didn't realize that the very thing I love the most was in the danger of floating away.
So when shit almost hit the fan, I realized one thing, it's almost always that not the danger that kills you but rather the panic. And so, I realized that I've to sit down to think through my thoughts, work through them, listen and speak and most importantly, have trust that God will pull me through. So I prayed, gathered my thoughts, listened and spoke and yes, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I've become stronger and realized that it's not always about me. That's the reality of life.
But what matters to me then? It's my family. It's Babe and little Baba. Take whatever you want to take but don't take Babe and Baba away from me. I can give up my lifestyle and live simply as long as I've my boys, I'll be happy. And most importantly, I've realized that I'm not in control of my life. But rather it's God that knows what's going to happen next. So no matter how much planning I make or how much worrying I worry, it's all come to naught because God is in control and not me.
With that in mind, I'm a lot more at peace with myself. I know that I no longer have a five year plan or don't really know if I'll still be in HK next year. But I know that God is in control and whatever it is, He will take care of our needs and be there for us.
