Freezing

It has been freezing from last week and the freezing weather is probably going to continue for another week. Guess, probably till we fly back to Singapore for Chinese New Year.

Last Friday, we had a school picnic. The whole school went to some picnic ground in Fan Ling, somewhere near to the border of China. Boy, was it freezing and on top of that, it rained as well. It was really cold and for the first time, I missed Spore's weather. Saturday came and we caught up with Stanley briefly in Tung Chung. Well, he was really cold too.

Let's just say that the weather was so cold to the point that on Monday, we had enough of sleeping in cold that we went out to get an electric blanket. Finally, a warm and nice bed. Normally, I love winter. But I've realised that in HK, winter is not the same. When I was living in Gold Coast, Perth and Sydney, winter was cold but there was the sun as well. I could see the bright sunny sun and nice clear blue skies. But in HK, it's just not the same. It's cold, foggy, or polluted, no sun and horror of horrors, there's rain as well! Gee, how bad can it get? This weather makes me feel sad and a little depress and basically, just blah.

But having said that, I do feel blessed and am thankful for everything. It's been reported in the news that China is facing one of the worst snow storms in a long time. People are literally freezing to death because of the lack of fuel and also because of Chinese New Year, people are rushing home to spend time with their family and accidents have happened on the roads because of the snow. When I think of them, I count myself blessed and yes, I should just shut up!

Anyway, Daddy, mummy and Jacqui are arriving tomorrow. Really looking forward to them visiting. But we seriously don't know how is everyone going to fit in and sleep especially now that it's so so cold!

Deaths

This is just the third week of January and already I've received news of the passing of two persons that I knew in Singapore. Wonder if there are more deaths to come this year. Yes, I'm getting a little morbid again.

Well, last week, mum told me that an acquaintance that I knew from church passed on. She's actually the mother of Joanne and Joe's good friends, Jon Nair's mother. Joanne and Joe hang out with Jon and Selena quite a bit and of course Joanne and Joe spent time with the family. Apparently she passed on suddenly. It was pretty sudden that Jon and Selena had to fly back from the UK to attend to the mum's funeral.

Yesterday, on msn, Babe told me that mum called in the morning to tell him that Uncle David passed on. Babe told me and for the moment I was kinda stunned. Uncle David was dad's cousin and was the son of our favourite granduncle. He was quite close to us. It was just six years ago that I attended the funeral of his older brother. Feel sad for my granduncle. It must be hard for him to see his sons leave before him. I called mum last night and asked what happened to Uncle David and she said that basically he had a heart attack and he collapsed over his son. His poor son must have been scared to death as well.

These deaths got me thinking about life. Honestly, we never know when our time on Earth is really up. Uncle David had chest pains, he went to the doctor and the doctor sent him home and the next time, he collapsed dead. Guess it was the same with Grandpa, we saw him in the afternoon and less than an hour after getting home, we got a call that he's gone. Life is truly fragile. And it made me wonder if I have lead a life that's worthy. Have I lived my best or am I living my best? Am I leading a Christian life that's worth to be called a Christian? I know I can be mean and horrid and it's time to learn to be nicer to people and have no regrets. But it can be hard. How can I be a better person? At my funeral, would people be glad that I'm finally gone, good riddance that she's dead! Or would I actually be missed by people? Has my life be of good impact on others? Or have I been a negative energy to people around me?

Lots of thoughts running through my head. I need to learn to live a better life and be a positive energy to people around.

Respect and Rage in a Relationship

As you know, I love watching television. I really love watching television. The television at home is turned on all the time. I guess this must have stemmed from childhood when my parents plonked us in front of the television to keep us occupied. I even think my strange mish mash accent of American, Australian and Singaporean came from way too much telly! Anyway, that's not the point. Our current favourite shows are Jon and Kate plus 8 and Amazing Race. Watching telly for me is not just for entertainment but I do learn heaps from just watching telly.

With Jon and Kate plus 8, I watch the relationships grow between Jon and Kate and their 8 kids. 8 kids is a lot of kids, you know. I watch and learn how the parents try their best to have respect for each other and at the same time, try their best to bring up the kids. It's not easy having so many little ones. Sure, there are times that Kate seems a little neurotic but who can blame her? I would like to see the people who actually criticize her to do a better job. It's interesting to see how she does her best to inculcate discipline in her kids. But having said that, its not easy as every child wants the undivided attention from their parents.

Amazing Race is one of the most entertaining shows and at the same time I learn how being negative can hurt a lot. As you know with Amazing Race, the goal is to be the first to reach the pit stop. In the Asia version, Henry and Terri argue and yell all the time. It becomes really funny. But there was an episode that my heart ache for Henry. I think it was in Korea that they were lost and coming in last. Terri sure has a lot of rage in her. Terri berated Henry so badly that in the interview session, he actually broke down and cried. Poor guy. It was also interesting that he said that to win the race, the couple must have communication and co-operation and therefore if they win, he said, it must be a fluke! On the other hand, in the American version, the father and daughter team, I forget their names, the dad changed and mellowed down and they have been emerging the first to reach their pit stops.

I wonder in relationships, be it a marriage, friendship, boss and subordinate or whatever kind of relationships, how important is respect and how can one prevent rage from creeping in. Babe and me do not have the prefect or the model marriage or relationship. I must admit that I probably throw more fits and rages than him. I know and understand that it's not right. As much as I tell myself that I need to change, I am still learning. It is very important I feel that in a relationship, respect be there. Sure, we may not agree with everyone but there must be a certain form of respect for each other. It's when the respect slowly disappears that more rage starts to creep in and the balance is disturbed that the relationship goes into tatters.

The question is, what happens when you have lost respect for the person that you love? I've a friend who over time have been losing respect for a person that she used to love. As much as I don't agree with a divorce, this time, I did encourage her. It is sad that the marriage is slowly eating into her and she hasn't been happy for a long time. I know that I may be wrong in asking her to leave but it also pains me to see her suffering. There are more sad, angry and disappointed days for her than happy ones. However, ultimately the decision is hers. I'll still stand by her no matter whatever decision she makes. I wonder when is it enough that it's time for someone to walk away from the marriage? And how much is ever enough that one tried to make it work? What happens when it is always one party that's putting in the effort? Things to ponder upon.

Thoughts About Adopting

We went for an adoption workshop last night. It was on telling about adoption and root tracing. Have to say that it was interesting and it did set me thinking about things in perspective and more importantly, my reality of adoption is somewhat altered to true reality. Not sure if there's such a thing as true reality.

During the workshop, we had group discussions on the two topics. I guess telling the child that he or she is adopted is a lot easier than talking about root tracing. Babe and my stand, we want to tell the child as early as possible that he or she is adopted. We'd rather the truth comes from us than from a third party. We want the relationship between child and us to be based on truth and not covered lies. We were also told that it's important to let the child know of their history and whatever details that we have. But there were queries on, what if the child was truly abandoned, dumped in a rubbish bin or his or her mother was raped or a victim of incest. What is the background of the child will eventually hurt the child, do we still tell the child? That got me thinking. What to tell and what not to tell? Don't have the answers.

When we were discussing about root tracing, the questions of feelings and how we would feel if the child wants to find their birthparents came up. I never really thought about that. I always assume that if the child wanted to search for his or her birthparents when he or she turns 18, I would be fine with it. But it was during the discussions that led me to ponder more. Will I be willing to let go of the child and not feel an ounce of betrayal and hurt? Will I help the child with no questions asked and help cheerfully and joyfully? These are the questions that only I can answer. No one else can help me through. No, actually, I'm wrong to say that. I'll have to pray about adoption and I believe that God will see us through. If it's His will, things will work out. We watched a video at the workshop and there was this Christian lady who mentioned that her family was following God's will for them. I felt very touched and felt that God must have placed us in HK for a reason.

Do continue to pray for us. The paperwork is still not completed. Home study has not started. We are still going through a couple of stuff. But we're praising God for every step that we take.

Peanut has Left

Just got a text from Joanne that they put Peanut to sleep. Talked to Joanne 2 nights ago and she was already mentioning that Peanut was not going to make it. Called last night and she sounded bad, she was at the vet. And this morning, the text. Well, in a way, I am little sad but then again, Peanut led a long life. And it is better that he's no longer suffering. His liver and kidney weren't working. Goodbye Peanut, I'll miss you. Hopefully, mum is not crying her eyeballs out.

Peanut is Dying

Peanut has been sick for a couple of days. He was already a little sick when we left Singapore. Last night, mum texted to say that Peanut was really sick. He has kidney and liver failure. For those who don't know. Peanut is one of our family dogs. You probably know it by now that I love dogs since I was brought with in a family filled with dogs. Peanut is one of my favourite dogs.

When Peanut was born, I was not in Singapore. I was still studying in Australia. Think I was only in my first year at uni. That goes to show how old Peanut and I are! Peanut's mummy is Blackie. Blackie decided to walk out one day and never to return. We guess, she went off to die. Peanut was born with Billy. The first time I met Peanut and Billy was when my family picked me up from the airport and my sisters brought the puppies in a basket to the airport. They were so so cute! Tammy is Peanut's father. He died of a stroke about 6 years ago. Yes, I had and still have quite a number of dogs. About 3 years ago, Gummie, that's my dog, died too. Sure, I was sad but Gummie led a long life. She was always running away. She was given to me by Babe, my then boyfriend and my dad.

Dogs and animals have played a huge part of my life. They are still a part of my life. When I was growing up, the first dog I had was Pammy. I can't remember how old was I when Pammy was given to us. She was this beautiful poodle. So smart and clever. She would not pee or poo in the home. If she needed the toilet, she would bring her leash to us telling us to bring her down for a walk. We went on a short holiday to Malaysia and when we got back, the family that was looking after Pammy told us that she ran away! Boy was I heartbroken! Apart from Pammy, we had hamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits, birds, fishes and terrapins for pets. We had a mini zoo. Dad believed that children who grow up with pets, tend to be more loving people. Don't know how true is that.

Anyway, I'm digressing. It's hard when a pet dies. I can't imagine what or how will I feel if something happen to Hobbit or Happy. I remember when my Pigsy, my guinea pig, who was really sick, I burst into tears in the reception area of the vet! Imagine a twentysomething person crying! It's hard you know. Joanne and mum was telling me that Peanut might have to be put to sleep because he is suffering quite a bit. Although I am reluctant for them to do that, I think it might be the best thing for them to do. Less sufferings for poor Peanut.

Reflections and Resolutions

Been thinking and reflecting of the year that passed so quickly that I can't believe that a new year has arrived. Like in one of my previous posts, I wonder, what have I done, learnt and achieved? There's lots, I guess and maybe too much to blog about.

One of the highlights of the year, we got Happy. And she brings happiness to our lives! Very corny, I know. Another highlight, the decision to adopt. Will keep everyone updated on that as well. Made a trip to the States to see my cousins and best friend. And most recently, renewed friendships with friends from uni that I've not seen for years.

The past year was a year of trusting the Lord. Real trusting. Somewhere in the middle of the year, Babe made the decision to take a break from work as he was very unhappy with his job. Having prayed about it and thought hard over it and discussed about it, he tendered his resignation letter without having a job lined up for him. The plan was for him to do his masters, put the adoption on hold and basically, trust God for everything. But the reality is that whatever we plan may not be in God's plan. Well, Babe had job offers coming in and eventually after praying, he took up a job that allows him to commute to Singapore on a regular basis. Praise God for it! And it was a job that he didn't even apply for. God really works in ways beyond our expectations.

I've learnt a lot on friendships too. Early last year, Michelle, one of my first friends, went back to Australia. And late last year, Martina went back too. I do miss them heaps as they were one of my 'real' friends in HK. There were some friends that I let had to let go because they were just not worth it but at the same time, I made some really nice friends too. As the saying goes, you lost some and you win some. Over the years and months, I'm beginning to be tired of superficial friends. It's tiring and time consuming. Not worth the time. But the truth with friendships is that every friendship starts off on a superficial level and over time, it builds up. But I am thankful for some friends that I met in HK that make my life a lot easier. I am also thankful for friendships in Singapore. There are friends that make an effort to keep in touch with me and they make me feel a lot at home whenever I head back to Spore. And my church friends, it is nice to know that some of them read my blog and they make efforts to make me feel at home in Galilee. Friendships are time consuming to maintain but it is worth it. I'm always thankful for every nice new friend I make. But having said that, I've got my fingers burnt with some friends but does that put me off friendships, no, it makes me more cautious but really, I don't care. Sometimes, when the friendship is just not worth it, it's time to let go.

Resolutions? Well, one of my resolutions every year, is to be a better person. But how measurable is that and what's the definition of a better person? I don't know. Let's just say, I'll try to be less mean! Not even sure if that's possible. I do have an acid tongue at times. Part of being a better person resolution is to try to spend some time with my godsons whenever we head back to Spore. It was a great joy to see both of them growing. maturing and becoming more sensible. Of course, I am sad with the other godson who is a little lost but he did make an effort to see me and spend some time with me.

There is a possibility that we may become parents this year. So another resolution of mine, is to be a good mum. This is going to be a difficult one because it is never easy to be a good mum. All I hope is to be able to bring up a child in the Lord. That's all I ask for. Everything else is secondary. We'll be attending the second adoption workshop next Monday and we'll be putting in our paperwork as well. So everything is in the hands of the Lord.

Last resolution, to be a better wife. Yes, go on and laugh! I know this sounds silly and corny. But I have to learn to let go and not get mad and then go into a rage. I have to really learn that. Babe is great husband, and I honestly cannot complain. But I admit that I get stuck in the negatives and then I'll dwell upon it and stew and get mad and finally get into a rage that I can hardly calm myself down. So I've to learn to let go and think of the positives whenever I get mad with Babe.

All in all, last year was a great year. A truly blessed year. What this year will bring, I don't know. God knows and I've to continue to learn to trust upon His goodness. If He saw us through last year, He can see us through this year as well!

First Post for the Year

So after about 10 days in Singapore, I'm back in Hong Kong. Glad to be back. Did heaps and heaps in Singapore.

This is my cousin, Zhi Wei. We attended his wedding. Lovely boy and his pretty wife. Doesn't he look handsome and his bride beautiful?
We stayed in Fullerton Hotel on 28 to 31 of December. It was a nice hotel but a little out from the city. This was taken from the pool. The view is great though!


We checked into Mandarin Oriental on 31st. We went swimming in the pool with my godsons, Jim and Sean. It was great catching up with them and knowing that they have grown more matured and sensible. Love them heaps! Miss them. Can't wait to see them over Chinese New Year again.



Fireworks from our room. It was nice of Mandarin Oriental to give us a room with the view for the fireworks. The boys were so excited. Well, Mum and Joanne also enjoyed themselves.
This is the day view from our room. Sean came into room and started yelling, look, look at the durian!

Well, we had a great trip. It was really nice to catch up with family and friends. Sorry if I've missed some of you. Jing, sorry, missed your son and you and also sorry that I'll miss your son's celebrations this Sat too. I guess to a certain extent, every holiday back is never enough as there's always more people that I'll like to catch up with. It's so hard sometimes when we live abroad. But I guess, one of the persons that I really want to catch up with, I actually saw him twice. Marc came to my mum's place for Christmas and also to Zhi Wei's wedding. Marc, thanks for coming to see me and you know that we always love you.

Well, enough of my rumblings. Want to wish everyone a blessed New Year! And I hope that everyone will have a great year!