We went for an adoption workshop last night. It was on telling about adoption and root tracing. Have to say that it was interesting and it did set me thinking about things in perspective and more importantly, my reality of adoption is somewhat altered to true reality. Not sure if there's such a thing as true reality.
During the workshop, we had group discussions on the two topics. I guess telling the child that he or she is adopted is a lot easier than talking about root tracing. Babe and my stand, we want to tell the child as early as possible that he or she is adopted. We'd rather the truth comes from us than from a third party. We want the relationship between child and us to be based on truth and not covered lies. We were also told that it's important to let the child know of their history and whatever details that we have. But there were queries on, what if the child was truly abandoned, dumped in a rubbish bin or his or her mother was raped or a victim of incest. What is the background of the child will eventually hurt the child, do we still tell the child? That got me thinking. What to tell and what not to tell? Don't have the answers.
When we were discussing about root tracing, the questions of feelings and how we would feel if the child wants to find their birthparents came up. I never really thought about that. I always assume that if the child wanted to search for his or her birthparents when he or she turns 18, I would be fine with it. But it was during the discussions that led me to ponder more. Will I be willing to let go of the child and not feel an ounce of betrayal and hurt? Will I help the child with no questions asked and help cheerfully and joyfully? These are the questions that only I can answer. No one else can help me through. No, actually, I'm wrong to say that. I'll have to pray about adoption and I believe that God will see us through. If it's His will, things will work out. We watched a video at the workshop and there was this Christian lady who mentioned that her family was following God's will for them. I felt very touched and felt that God must have placed us in HK for a reason.
Do continue to pray for us. The paperwork is still not completed. Home study has not started. We are still going through a couple of stuff. But we're praising God for every step that we take.
2 comments:
I have a thought about root tracing. I don't see why adoptive parents should feel insecure about it. Just because a child wants to see out his birth parents won't make him love his adoptive any less. A child will eventually marry and move out one day. Does that make him love his parents any less?
Even if the child were to find his true parents and have a relationship with them, that still won't make him love his adoptive parents any less, if the adoptive parents had brought him up in a loving family environment.
There's enough love to go around. Everyone has two sets of grandparents. The love is the same for both sets (assuming the family isn't dysfuctional). So why not two sets of parents? All the better for the child. More people to love, more people to love him. :P
All the best for your adoption, cuz. I know you will make a really good home for one lucky child on earth! :)
Thanks so much Cuz! I guess sometimes I don't seem to see some things and thanks so much for pointing it out.
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