An Attitude in Life

Found out yesterday that Randy Paush passed on. It did come as a shock as I was just talking about him to Sharon last week when I was still in San Francisco. I told her that I really admire his courage and his positive attitude towards life. For those who don't know. Randy Pausch wrote The Last Lecture. He wrote the book because he was going to give his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon University but the lecture was not for his students but rather for his kids. Basically he was diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer in September 2006 and was given three to six months to live and well he survived close to two years. His life was so inspiring and I wonder if I were in his shoes, would I crumble like a cookie or would I live a life like him?

The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people.

Randy Pausch

What a quote! And yes, climb the brick walls to prove that that's what I want. All my life, there have been things that I've managed to accomplished and there's a whole list that can stretch from Gold Coast to Perth that I've not tried, started or accomplished. What am I waiting for? I don't know.....But now, I know. It's just sheer laziness.

Don't obsess over what people think. No job is beneath you. Tell the truth.

Randy Pausch

That's just so true. I don't care what people think about me. Oh, maybe at some point of time, I did before but I've realised, what's the point? When I was doing my masters in Sydney, due to bad financial planning, I ran out of money and had to work as a waitress, a cashier at the supermarket and a nanny. Sure, the jobs were not ideal but I did what I had to do. I told the truth whenever Eve wanted to meet for meals and I couldn't afford. I don't believe in lying and creating false facades when basically I couldn't afford. And yes, I'm brutally truthful at times and there are times that people do get hurt.

It's not not about how you achieve your dreams, it's about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.

Randy Pausch

Oh how true, wait, except for the karma bits but then again, I believe in what goes around comes around, treat others like how I would like to be treated and also more importantly, I believe that the Heavenly Father rewards. And the process and experience working towards dreams sometimes is far more rewarding than the dream itself. I pursued the dream of wanting to earn my masters. The journey and experience of it at that time was hard and painful at times. I've graduated a while ago but looking back now, it was the experience of going through a difficult time that Babe and me got closer and learnt to work together and love each other more. It was also at that point of time that Eve and me reconnected. Do I care about that scrap of paper now? No....not really. But the experience and memories of Eve and me spending time both during my undergrad and postgrad days were far more fulfilling.

There are people that would probably wonder why would I bother to fly half way around the world to spend time with Eve and my cousins in California since I've been to California thrice. Truth of the matter, it's important for me to be here. It was last summer that I spent time with Sharon that she opened up about her cancer and other stuff. Same with Eelynn and Bruno. I got to know them a lot better. And this time, got to see their love blossoming everyday. I spent time with Jojo last summer with her boyfriend and it was then that I understood more about adoption through Jojo's boyfriend. Will be seeing her on Monday again. And with Eve, it's important for me to spend time with her every summer. She's like one of my best friends. It's easier with my best friends in Singapore. I get to see them at least twice a year. Even calling them up is much easier. With Eve, timezone differences and distance sometimes makes it hard. And its always at the back of my head....What if something happens and I never get to see my cousins or Eve again.

Thanks Randy for inspiring me and teaching me lessons that I probably would have known but you opened my eyes to see the importance of living now and not in the past. Have no regrets of what I've done but rather have regrets of thing that I've not done. So....tomorrow, I might be going kayaking with Eve. Yes, kayaking.....For someone whose not very sporty, I did the nature walk in San Francisco and now....kayaking, that's a lot for me, you know?