Date Nights

For the past two weeks, it's been kinda busy for Babe and me. Last week I was off to Singapore from Monday to Friday for a school trip. Left home at 6 in the morning and barely had time to say bye to Babe. Babe left on Wednesday for Bangkok for a work trip and he arrived on Friday night and as tired as he was, he still waited at the airport for me. I was excited and at the same time happy to see him. It had been 5 long hard days at work with the kids.

The weekend rolled along. We had guests over for dinner on Saturday and on Sunday, it's family day as our helper takes a break. Then the work week started again. So Babe and I hardly had time to sit, chat and spend time with each other. Last night Babe reminded me to make reservations at the Italian restaurant at our place. So I did and was glad that I did. We really needed the date night.

I got to the restaurant early and waited for Babe to arrive. The food tonight took longer than expected but I didn't mind as it gave Babe and me a chance to talk and recharge and find out what's been going on. Opps, it sounds that we hardly talk at home. That's not true. Babe and I are on MSN at work at times and the lines of communications are always open between us. But the act of sitting down, just the both of us, talking and listening and actually listening to each other's thoughts is so important for us. During this time, there's no distraction from little Ba Ba and sometimes we make an extra effort to keep Ba Ba out of our conversations. It's this time that we re-connect. And that's why we love our date nights.

Well, that brings me to the next point. Since the arrival of Ba Ba, sometimes it's hard for us to have alone time. It's harder for us now to steal away and go off on a getaway. The last time we did that was when we went to Maldives for that short break. And that break was so good for us. Originally we were planning 10 days in Europe for this summer but things came up for Babe and he might not be able to take such a long break due to work commitments. Sure, I'm bummed. I'm like...what about my shopping in Europe? I've been good with no bag shopping for the past few months! But one has to learn to be less selfish! So I'm like, okie, let's do a shorter trip.

As I started to research for our trip. I'm so tempted to say to Babe, let's bring Ba Ba along. But I know that I shouldn't. Well, there might be people out there that think that we are selfish. How can we dump him behind. Well, Ba Ba is not going to be dumped behind. He'll be in Spore with lots of people that love him. And our helper will be there too. But his parents, us, need the re-charging. Over the course of time, I'm realizing the importance of us, parents, taking time to stop and recharge by spending time with each other and getting to know each other again. I really don't want to be one of those couple that when their kids grow up, they have nothing left to say to their spouses. I want us to remain us, to be like what we have always been, lots of stuff to speak and listen to each other.

So, I'm back to the drawing board, back to researching......

A Scare

So this afternoon, little Ba Ba threw up. And we thought nothing of it as he throws up all the time. But evening came, he threw up again and then again and again and a couple more agains. Babe got a little worried. But when he tried to throw up even though he had nothing left, I got really worried.

So we called a friend of ours who live in the same area to ask if he could drive us to the hospital. He readily agreed. But when we got down, we saw a cab and thought that it would be better for us to catch a cab instead. So off to Sanatorium we went. Got to the hospital, saw the doctor and it was a relief to know that little Ba Ba would be alright. He doesn't have to be hospitalized or anything like that.

It was along the way that I realized that God is good and He has always been good. We had our friends that were ready to help out and they prayed for us. When I checked in on Facebook, again, we had friends showing us concern. Even with the doctor that little Ba Ba saw, we know that it was not a coincident. When we were about to leave his office, he looked up and asked if we're Christians and we said yes. He said,' God Bless and not to worry, I pray for all my patients.' Yes, it's wonderful to know that even in our distress or panic or worries, God sends people to us to comfort us and to let us know that He's in control and He's our father watching over us.

The whole ordeal from home to hospital and back home took us slight more than 2 hours and little Ba Ba is asleep now. And I know that even as I've to travel tomorrow, God will be there watching over little Ba Ba. I had a moment just now with little Ba Ba that God reminded me that as an earthly mother, I love Ba Ba so much and want him to be well, what more my heavenly father would do for me and Ba Ba. And it was that moment in hospital that struck me that yes, God, our heavenly father knows our every need and He'll take care of us.

Up, Up and Away Again

So this Monday, I'm off again. Christmas, I was back in Singapore and then 2 weeks in Hong Kong, back for work. Then at Chinese New Year, I was back in Singapore again. And now, 2 weeks after coming back from Singapore, I'm going back to Singapore again. But this time is for work and Ba Ba and Babe won't be coming along.

This trip is going to be hard. Well, not because it's a work trip with 48 kids but rather it's the first time that I'll be away from Ba Ba for such a long time. Well, the last time I was away from Ba Ba, we were in Maldives and Ba Ba was in Singapore with our helper and his grandparents. I'm going to be missing him a lot more. I know that Ba Ba is going to be in good hands. Our helper loves him heaps and I'm very sure that she'll take good care of him. But at the back of my head, I'll be thinking of little Ba Ba. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to work.

So this leads me to some of my random thoughts. The last time I was back in Singapore, I met up with a couple of my ex-colleagues. Sorry, if what I'm going to write might offend some of my friends but these are just of my thoughts. So we were talking about one day leaving our jobs and be stay at home mums. And I said that it's going to be hard for me. Babe mentioned to me that there's a possibility that we might have to move in a couple of years time (not back to Singapore) for his work. And my response was, what about my job? And he said that I should just stay at home! And I was like, what? Huh? And in that conversation with my ex-colleagues I brought up if I only have one kid and I'm a stay at home mum, I'll lose my sense of purpose and to a certain extent my self-worth. I know it sounds silly. I've been working so long that it would feel weird not to work. And it'll even feel stranger and weirder to have to ask Babe for money. Well, not that he won't provide for me. I know him well enough that he'll be happy to hand money over to me but it'll feel strange for me to have to take money or ask money from him. And what about my sense of purpose? Yes, I know it's shallow. I know there are people who would love to stay at home and be a great mother to their child. Well, I would like to do that too but I know that I won't make a good stay at home mother. I hate doing cleaning the house and if I'm a stay at home mum, there's no need for a helper. So I'll be doing all the cleaning, running around, sending husband and kid to school and what about the years of education that has been invested in me?

Okay, enough ranting. I'm not even sure of what I'm writing anymore. But there's one thing that I've to say or write. I have total respect for stay at home mums. They sacrifice heaps for their child or children and their family.

The Undeserving Me

Readers, be warned, this is a religious/ Christian post. So if you don't like reading stuff like this, move on. Don't read or if you do read, don't bother leaving malicious comments. Anyway, towards the end of the church service I was reminded of God's goodness upon me. There were things that I don't deserve but God so freely gave to me without me even asking for them.

One of the things that God freely gave me is little Ba Ba. With little Ba Ba is kinda interesting. We knew that it was God's calling for us to adopt. Yes, we adopted even without trying to conceive a child because we know that it's God's will. But then the wait for little Ba Ba was a long one. But this was probably due to our disobedience too. Anyway, when God gave us Ba Ba, there are days and even now that when I look at Ba Ba and I thank God for giving him to me. Yes, Babe and I don't deserve him but God is in generosity gave him to us.

The other thing that struck me was a gift that was recently bestowed upon Babe very unexpectedly recently. I'm not going to say that exactly the gift is but let's just say that it's a gift that Babe didn't expect and we're humbled to be able to receive the gift. And this morning was when I felt God speaking to me. This month is a 'cut back' month because we just paid taxes last month. And if truth be told, tithes to God was also cut back. It was at service that I was reminded that my God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. My God owns more than I can ever imagine and He truly does not need my money. I was also reminded that my God loves me and He will take care and look after me and will see that all my needs will be taken care of. Yes, there's a contradiction. But I understood what God was trying to tell me. He's telling me that He doesn't need my tithes but at the same time, He's telling me not to worry about money. He'll provide. But rather, it's obedience from me and also for me to put my faith in Him that He demands from me. Give to Him in obedience. And I was reminded of the sudden gift that was given to Babe and indirectly I'll be benefitting.

The gift was something that I was thinking about and honestly, it bothered me a little. God knew and He knows my thoughts. It wasn't really a worry but rather a little thorn. It was one of those things that I'm a little concern about, I think about it sometimes and then I put it away without even praying for it. But God knew and He gave it to us without even me praying for it. And that's when it hit me hard. See God does provide. It's not even a need at this stage. It's just a want and why didn't I trust Him? And that's my thoughts came together. Give because He will provide.

And as I end the post, God loves me. I'm so undeserving in so many ways but yet He loved me enough to choose me to be part of his chosen people. He gave me salvation. Did I do anything to deserve it? No, I didn't. I don't deserve it but yes in His love, He gave it to me. And what do I do in return? I repay with ingratitude. Yes, I said it or rather wrote it.