So sometimes I wonder a decision that was made probably a decade ago was the right decision or was it a wrong one. Then I wonder, so if it's a wrong one, what do I do now, do I walk away or do I suck it up and try to make it work? And then sometimes I wonder if its worth trying to make it work, and in all these crazy wondering and pondering I wish that I can just stay in bed for days and not get up at all and not even wash or even brush my teeth. Then I realize, crap! Isn't that depression? People who stay in bed for days and weeks and months and then what, years, aren't they people with depression? And I think to myself, man, wish I could do that. And then I realized, what? Am I actually envious of people that are in depression? Man, am I sick or what?
Then a light goes off in my head, so if I didn't have any responsibilities or any dependents or whatsoever, I would be able to be in depression and stay in bed all day and all night. So people that have responsibilities and dependents and whatnot who do that, aren't they freaking selfish then? Or are they that weak to ignore people that actually need them? And then I look at myself, what on hell do I really want?
One word, happiness. And it's getting more and more difficult these days. Or am I getting older that I find happiness more and more elusive?
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
It's Been a Long Time
So it's been a long time since I last wrote on my blog. Well, update from the last post, decision has been made and I'm glad that it's the decision that I prayed for. And now, we have to wait. Yes, got to love the waiting game.
Had a wonderful December. Jacqui's wedding was a blast. But at the same time, kinda bittersweet. Am glad that she married someone that she's known for a really long time. They probably met when they were babies, were best friends and maybe a year or so ago decided to start dating and then, the wedding. A beautiful wedding, great company and a blessed time with the family. But what's hard is that Jacqui moved to Melbourne. To a large extent, it's kinda hard for everyone in the family especially Jojo. When Jojo was born, Jacqui has always been there and then now, she's suddenly gone. Jojo finds it hard. The reality is that everyone notices her absence. I miss the coffee that she makes for me. And her being there for the family. Kinda bum that I might actually miss seeing her this year. Oh well, guess this is what happens when we grow up.
Christmas was time spent with the family. I admit that each time I head back to Spore, I find that I spend less time with friends but more time with family. To be honest, it's a deliberate act to spend more time with people that I really care and love. My time in Spore is so precious and it's inevitable that I have to prioritize my time. But I'm really glad that I managed to catch up with my ex-colleagues and got to spend loads of time with Jojo and Jo Meimei. The other thing that was nice was to have Baba and Jojo to hang out with a kid whose father, we used to hang out with. I remember sitting in Sentosa watching the kids play and memories of us as kids playing ran through my head.
Childhood, a fun-filled and wonderful childhood, that's what I want Baba to have. I want him to remember fun with his family, cousins and friends. I want him to get to know his family and hence the reason why we always choose to fly home instead of flying somewhere else. Anyway, enjoy the photos.
Love that Jojo and Baba are very close. When we were at the airport, Jojo was so reluctant for us to head home. When we got home, Baba told me that he really misses Jojo. It's really cute when I see them talk to each other via FaceTime.
We walked past a shop selling really cheap fake glasses and I decided to get a pair to match Jojo. It's kinda scary that Jojo and I look so alike.
Look the both of them. Yes, they love each other. I'm glad for this closeness. May they never drift from each other and be as close as siblings.
The kids had so much fun at the wedding. And it reminded me of the fun that I used to have with my cousins at relatives' weddings.
Had a wonderful December. Jacqui's wedding was a blast. But at the same time, kinda bittersweet. Am glad that she married someone that she's known for a really long time. They probably met when they were babies, were best friends and maybe a year or so ago decided to start dating and then, the wedding. A beautiful wedding, great company and a blessed time with the family. But what's hard is that Jacqui moved to Melbourne. To a large extent, it's kinda hard for everyone in the family especially Jojo. When Jojo was born, Jacqui has always been there and then now, she's suddenly gone. Jojo finds it hard. The reality is that everyone notices her absence. I miss the coffee that she makes for me. And her being there for the family. Kinda bum that I might actually miss seeing her this year. Oh well, guess this is what happens when we grow up.
Christmas was time spent with the family. I admit that each time I head back to Spore, I find that I spend less time with friends but more time with family. To be honest, it's a deliberate act to spend more time with people that I really care and love. My time in Spore is so precious and it's inevitable that I have to prioritize my time. But I'm really glad that I managed to catch up with my ex-colleagues and got to spend loads of time with Jojo and Jo Meimei. The other thing that was nice was to have Baba and Jojo to hang out with a kid whose father, we used to hang out with. I remember sitting in Sentosa watching the kids play and memories of us as kids playing ran through my head.
Childhood, a fun-filled and wonderful childhood, that's what I want Baba to have. I want him to remember fun with his family, cousins and friends. I want him to get to know his family and hence the reason why we always choose to fly home instead of flying somewhere else. Anyway, enjoy the photos.
The ladies of the family. So thankful for God's bountiful blessings upon the family. We can never be thankful enough.
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