Sunday, January 18, 2009

Did My Life Turn Out the Way I Wanted?

I remember asking Stanley once if his life now turned to be what he envisioned as a child. And he was like, 'Yup, not to disappoint you...Yes.' And I thought about myself. Is my life now panning out what I've always wanted as a child?

Well, in terms with family, my marriage. It's a loud YES! I'm glad that I've a wonderful, loving, great, superb and supportive and I can't describe him anymore, husband. There's nothing of my marriage that I would like to change. But looking at my chosen occupation....Hmmm....the reality of it is that I've never really wanted to be a teacher as a child. Never really had any true ambitions. I know as a kid, all dad said was to study, get an education and make sure have a job so that when my man decides to walk out on me, I won't be left penniless! So...yes, did my studies and though...maybe a lawyer, nah...too much brain cells. Then I remember once at an oral exam, I actually said that I wanted to be a mother. Not sure what made me say that....And then well, at 15, I had my first part time job in a hotel and then I thought, maybe the hotel industry.

So worked towards getting my degree in hotel management and I even remember dad telling mum to tell me that I had better not drop out of Shatec, the hotel training school in Singapore, costs him an arm and leg, you know. As I rolled along....and graduated with a Bachelor in Hotel Management and had aims and dreams to work up the corporate ladder. But God's ways are higher than my ways. Asia financial crisis, couldn't find a job in the tourism sector so settled and became a substitute teacher and realised that I loved teaching and now....I'm a teacher and have been teaching close to 10 years.

I recall when I first graduated from uni in Gold Coast, I really badly wanted to go back to live in Australia someday. I really felt that it was my second home. Started teaching and still thought about it and was finding a way to work towards it. Did my masters and was still bent on returning to Australia someday. Even as recent as 2007, I was discussing and talking plans with Eve. And well, now, there's a possible opportunity. Babe talked about it before heading to India for meeting. He mentioned that there's a real possibility of us relocating to Australia and if I was open to it. I told him, go India and find out and we'll talk when he gets back. He came back and yes, there's still a chance, a possibility and I told him flat out, nope, I don't want to move to Australia anymore. Go tell your boss as nice as possible without losing your job that you'll rather commute and be stationed in HK.

Now I look back. Sure, my life has never been what I set it out to be. Never being what I've envisioned it to be. And have the time, I was running ahead of myself and ahead of God, dragging where I wanted Him to bring me to and demanding what I wanted. And its when I'm learning to calm down and open my ears, heart and eyes that I'm realising that yet again, I'm not in control but rather the Almighty is.

In my last post I wrote about coincidences and that God is the one planning and that people we meet, have a purpose in our lives. Everyone. And today, Eve texted and God has Eve in my life for a special purpose. She's my encourager and I'm her encourager even though we live miles apart from each other. We lost contact for years and those years, I couldn't find her and it was only maybe 3 or 4 days before my wedding that a mutual friend finally found it in her to email Eve details about my wedding and yes, Eve turned up. Love her for that. Had lunch with a bunch of people today. A friend that I've known for decades came and join us with his wife to be. And he shared stuff with me and after lunch I had coffee with his wife to be and I knew it with an instinct why God planned for us to meet up. She shared and I shared and I got to know her better and we shared similar experiences and got to learn from each other.

Yes, everything in my life, lies in the hands of God. Sure, money come and go. Babe can lose his job in this economic situation and the future is so uncertain but there's one constant that never changes. And I know no matter what God will take care of us. That's what I need to learn and constantly remind myself that it's God's will and not mine. And everyone that I meet, God has a purpose, be it big or small. It's still a purpose. And friends that are family, thanks for being family. Love every single one of you.

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