A Postcard from my Childhood

I was thinking about writing when I stole this pic from my cousin's facebook photos but never got around to doing it till I read my other cousin's blog and she mentioned celebrating Christmas with my family. And then, ding, I had to write.

So this picture above was taken some many, many years ago in my home at Pandan Gardens when we were living there. From the looks of this picture, I must have been around six or seven years old. I remember the Christmas parties with my family and my cousins. It was always filled with loads of fun.

So, I think it's how you celebrate Christmas and who you celebrate it with that matters, and not what you get or don't. Presents can never be as memorable as the people who spend the day with you.

This was taken off my cousin's blog. Thanks Monster for sharing that. I truly believe that. Looking back, I don't even remember what I got when I was a kid. Oh yes, a Barbie doll and rest, I can't remember. But what stayed on was the memories of cousins running around, screaming in glee, playing, and yes, sometimes sipping or drinking our parents' beer. Those were the memories. And those memories created the camaraderie, love, friendship and importantly we feel connected even as adults now.

Looking at the picture, there are two cousins that I really miss heaps. One of them passed about a couple of years ago. And the saddest bit, I didn't even get to say goodbye. He left in such a hurry that he left everyone shellshocked. The other cousin, I don't know where he is. I miss him. I know his siblings miss him too and so do his kids. My parents miss him heaps. Really heaps. He's like a son to my parents and it's breaking my parents' hearts that they don't really know what's happening to him. Once in a while, dad grills me about this cousin. He thinks that this cousin might have emailed me but I'm not saying stuff. But cousin, if you're reading this, get in touch with my dad. He misses you. Do you know that Joanne has a baby now? Little JC would love to meet you. Wherever you are, drop me an email.

Monster, thanks for writing about the Christmas we spent together when I was 10 and you were 11. Didn't know that it had an impact on you. Looking back, it was probably that Christmas that kinda sealed our friendship. Oh Eelynn, you look really cute! Kinda reminds me of Leina.

This Christmas I'm going to be in HK getting my lasik done to my eyes. Going to miss Christmas like maybe the 3rd time of my life with my family. It's going to be a hard and cold Christmas. But.....I've got Babe. Babe is going to make things perfect! And yes cousins, miss those times when we were kids.

Happy Thanksgiving

I like celebrating Thanksgiving. I think Hong Kong and Singapore should adopt this American festival rather than the mindless (in my opinion) Halloween. Why celebrate scaring each other and scoffing down loads of candies? I just don't see it. Okay, maybe there's a bigger picture to Halloween but seriously, I don't really care.

So coming back to Thanksgiving. I'm glad that even my family in Singapore is taking time to celebrate Thanksgiving. I was speaking to mum last night and she was telling me that she's planning a Thanksgiving dinner. The first in our home. Bummer that we can't head home for Thanksgiving. Well, food might be a little different, it was too late for her to score a turkey but who cares.

Babe and me normally have dinner together and last year was extra special that my family was here. This Thanksgiving, we're spending with our cell group tonight and tomorrow, we're having dinner with some of our Canadian and American friends and friends from all over the world.

I know I should be more thankful and grateful but I admit that there are times that I take things for granted and demand more from God. And there are times that I forget to take a step back and think of the bountiful blessings that has been showered upon me. I've got a loving and supportive husband, wonderful parents, superb sisters, cute JC, silly and funny brother in law, 4 best friends (yes, 4 best friends), loving friends in Hong Kong. And the list is endless. We have a nice apartment in HK. And we're moving to a bigger place in about 3 weeks' time. Yes, honestly, life is good. Looking at the big picture, there's nothing that I can complain about. So when life gets the better of me, I need to press on the pulse button and stop, think of all the wonderful people and things that God has placed in my life.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving. And remember to stop and be thankful!

8 Years and Still Counting

I remember 8 years ago waking up and getting washed up, dressed and made up and then realizing, shit! Where's my contact lens? Then the mini madness ensued. Me yelling at mum that I've lost my contact lens. Then dad shouting asking why didn't I have a spare pair. Then the call to Babe, errr.....going to late. Lost my contact lens.

Then, next scene, me sitting at the dining table with Lina, errmmmm....so how? We both broke into giggles. Mum frantically calling various people finding out where to get contacts at 10 in the morning. And finally, go to Lucky Plaza, she shouted. So off to the car we went. Lina was telling me in the car, wow, there's a flower on your ring finger. And I stared at her, what did you just say? Flower? Then I let out a yell, flowers!!! I forgot my flowers! Then called Jacqui, flowers!

Next, got to Lucky Plaza in my wedding dress, getting fitted for my contact lens and people staring at us. I laughed it off with Lina. To me, it was like a fun adventure with my bridesmaid. I didn't care. And Babe called, hmmm....you getting to the church yet? Yup, getting there, soon. And then we got to church like almost 20 mins late. The doors burst open and there I was walking down the aisle with dad. And Babe waiting for me at the end of the aisle.

We recited our vows.

For better, for worse

For richer, for poorer

In sickness and in health

To love, cherish and obey

Till death do us part

When I said my vows, I totally believed that the both of us would definitely be able to conquer anything and everything in the world just as long as we have to both of us. Well, the day we were married, we would have dated for 10 years and a day. So if we can go through that many years, what's a marriage to us?

Boy was I wrong! The first year was somewhat hard at times. It wasn't that bad. We survived it. Then the years rolled along. Babe is very supportive of everything I do. Somewhere in the 3rd year of marriage, I took off to Sydney to do my masters and he was totally supportive of it. I graduated and then in a couple months later, the opportunity to move to Hong Kong to work came, and yet again, he supported my decision. And soon he too moved to Hong Kong.

Were there moments that I thought that my marriage might be over? Yes, I'm not going to deny it. There were times I wonder how are we going to survive this? And this was hard. There was particular one incident that almost tore us apart. And I ate the huge chunk of humble pie and obeyed. But at the same time, I'm glad I did. I respected Babe and from there, the marriage grew stronger. Last December, Babe moved back to Spore to work and there were times that it was hard for me to deal with stuff on my own. During that time, it made the both of us realised that money is not everything. I'd rather have one income and have Babe with me all the time than 2 incomes and living in 2 countries.

So we took the plunge and decided one income. But God has bigger plans. Babe is working and he's been busier than ever. Our love? I would say that it's going stronger. Babe is my mirror. I look at him and he tells me gently and sometimes not so gently what's wrong. He's my fashion consultant, my career guide, my chef, my advisor. He's my everything and he's what I am not too. He fills the gaps in me and in other words, he completes me. Not that I'm not complete but he makes me even more complete. Does it make sense? If I can turn time back to 8 years ago, I'll still say the loud 'I do' and not change anything. And yup, we totally had the best time at our wedding.

Enjoy the pics of Babe and me. We don't take as many pics as we would like, and since I've moved to a macbook, I don't have many pics in my macbook. Found whatever that can be shown in public. And Babe, thanks for loving me!

Moving On

I must admit that I don't always check my gmail email account. I'd check it once every couple of days. So last Thursday, I decided that it's time to check my gmail account and I did and boy did I get a rude shock.

My landlord has decided that since our lease has ended, he's going to raise our rent by thirty percent. My initial reaction, thirty percent? Which industry had a thirty percent of salary increment? Madness! Without even bothering to check out any apartments, I texted Babe and told him that we're moving. So replied the email and told him that we're moving. Almost added, do you think we are idiots? But thought, look, he can do whatever he wants to and I'll just move. I've got nothing to lose but rather's he got more to lose than me.

So on Friday after work and running errands, part 1 of apartment hunting started. I went to look at five apartments without Babe as he was still at work. Out of the five, I liked two. Then part 2 of apartment hunting came when Babe came back from work and we went to look at three. And again, we liked one. So we called the other agent and told her to bring us to see the other two again before we decide. Was told that one was not going to work out because the landlord refused to lower rent. So it was settled, we went to see the one I liked and then it was time to decide. Before we went to look at the apartment again on Saturday, we prayed and asked God to bring us to the right apartment for us.

To cut the long story short, the two that was shortlisted came down to one and we both felt, yes, that's the one. It was a close competition because we liked both. So we talked about it and agreed that the one that comes back first will be the one. So yes, we're now going to pay less than what our landlord demanded but a bigger place. And we not only have two toilets but we have three now! Including the helper's room. And it's fully furnished too. We really could not asked for more. God has been gracious.

The reality was that, Thursday, was a tough day. In the first place, I was kinda disappointed that the adoption match didn't happen. So I thought, fine, no baby but at least I can look forward to spending Christmas in Singapore with family and friends. Then news from the landlord and I thought, now this sucks! No trip home because we have to move over Christmas. And I had to stay at work late. To a certain extent, it was a frustrating day. However, when Friday rolled along, I felt a little relieved that yes, there are apartments out there in our budget range and it was bigger too. Then on Saturday, we really saw God's hands in putting the bits and pieces together. And on Sunday at church, I knew that God has a purpose for everything and maybe there are many things that I don't understand and may not even understand in the future but I just have to trust God that all will be well.

Yes, lessons learnt and every day is always a learning process. I have to be reminded to look at His blessings and His hands in our lives rather than asking why. So the operation 'move again' is starting soon. Time to pack and move again!

Roots

The word 'roots' has been in my mind for a couple of days. Actually, since my cell group leader asked me to lead in bible sharing and thereafter she texted and asked if I wanted to serve in kids' ministry. She's the children's pastor in the church that we're attending.

The truth of the matter, our lives in HK has been always measured in terms of two years. I keep telling myself, I'm just going to be here for two years, then the two years almost passed and then, ya, maybe just another two years. And I've never really sought out actively to serve in any church that we've been attending. About a year and half ago, we started to attend a cell group and that's when bits of roots started taking place. This cell group became my prayer support. And the support became more apparent when Babe moved back to Singapore for work and now that Babe is back, they are my prayer support with our adoption.

I've never really participated in any other church building other than our home church in Singapore. And now in HK, we're given an opportunity, I am quite excited to see a church come together to build a home. It's exciting to be part of a church building. And yes, when I was asked to help in kids' ministry, I know that's God telling me, grow roots.

On the other hand, I wonder, Lord, how long more in Hong Kong before we're meant to move again? Babe has an agreement with his current work that he'll be moved to Singapore to start up the operations in Singapore and the Asean region next summer. And in my mind, Lord, you know, what's the point of growing roots and then to be uprooted in less than 2 years? But from what I'm getting from God, no, child, not yet. Just grow those roots and we'll talk again. Yes, I'm bewildered. Babe had a couple of calls from Singapore without him sending his resumes about jobs in Singapore. Well, offers doesn't seem bad and then, I'm wondering, roots? What roots?

But I believe that God always has a greater plan. Like what I shared in cell group last night, do I plan for God or God plans for me? Very often, I want to have my 5 year plan and say, God this is what I want and you pan this out for me! It's almost like a demand. But the reality is that when I do actually sit down and ask, God, what is it that you want me to do with my life? What's the direction that you want me to take? Where do you want me to be? I admit, I'm impatient and yes, God has been teaching me patience. And that seems to be the story of my life. But do I mind? Truth, yes I do, when I'm in the process of 'patience learning' but when I'm not in it, I appreciate it. I appreciate that God made sure that Babe and I had a long courtship. That built a foundation in our marriage and sure, when we were dating, I was wishing that we could have gotten married earlier. But God always have better plans and His ways are always higher than ours. Anyway, I digress as usual. So roots, there you go, I'm growing some but at the same time, this is going to be the longest time that I'm going to be away from Singapore. I'm getting a little homesick. Do wish to a certain extent that I'm heading home for Christmas. Well, God has his plans.

Support

Last weekend, mummy, Joanne, Jacqui and little JC flew in for a visit. We had a great time. So thankful that they flew in since we've not been able to fly home for a visit recently.

It was really good to spend time with little JC. I've not seen her in person for about 2 months and was concerned that she might forget me and start crying when she sees me. But well, my fears were laid to rest real fast. When she saw me, she quickly warmed up and wanted me to cuddle and carry her. I miss her heaps.

We met up with Adrian and Cindy for lunches. We've probably know Adrian for more than 25 years. They recently have a baby too. When we were out having lunch, Adrian brought up the issue of support. He said that Joanne has lots of support with little JC and that's important as a family. And he and Cindy on the other hand is lacking that. I could see where he's coming from. Being in Hong Kong without family, can be quite isolating at times. Even me, without kids, sometimes when things happen and Babe is not around, I do feel isolated. I wonder, what more about the Tans and their newborn. It must be hard at times for them.

After everyone left, I was left with the thought of support. When Babe was away, it was nice of the Tans to text to invite me out for lunches and stuff. I had Plus group as support too. And my group of girlfriends that ring every once in a while to get me out for dinners. But of course there were times I still feel that it would be nice to have more support around. But in having said that, I look back at my life and think of the times that I've moved in Australia and my move to Hong Kong. Without having lots of support, I've become quite an independent person. And I'm glad for the experiences that I've been through.

That brought me to the next thought, isn't it ironic that sometimes too much support is not good for a person? I've met ladies who are so strong and then they fall in love and get married and then suddenly they morph into a person that I no longer recognize. They lean on to their husbands for everything. Their husbands become their support and they lose their personalities. And I wonder, what happens when they partner dies?

Anyway, some of my random thoughts. Oh yes, I've noticed too, most of my close girlfriends are fiercely independent. And yes, couple of them, can literally move mountains! And yes, I do wish that I'm more like them! Next step, time to learn how to use the power drill!

My Doxology

Yesterday in church, Pastor Andrew Gardner preached on Jude 1: 24 and 25. At the end of his sermon, he asked us to write our doxology. So I wrote mine. This is it

My God is able to walk with me every day. My God is able to bring a child to us a real soon. For God, my saviour through Jesus, is my light in my darkness.

Now and forever, Amen.

When I wrote this in church, I wanted God to lead me as I wrote it. When I read it again, the phrase Jesus is my light in my darkness, became a little glaring to me, pardon the pun. I've to admit that I am a little afraid of the darkness because simply, I can't see what's beyond. And another thing which I admit, there are times in my life that darkness seem to surround me and things overwhelm me. I'm glad to say that this does not happen as often but I know that darkness is just lurking around the corner and it can just pop out anytime. I believe that God always works in marvelous ways. We woke up late for church and ended at 4pm service and at the of the service, yes, it was loud and clear that Jesus is my light in darkness and in waiting, I will grow strong in Him.

I'm loving the fact that each time I go to church, God speaks to me and He brings me a message according to my needs. Thank you, Jesus.