Living out Faith

Dear Cha Cha, This morning as I was at work, I was thinking of you. I wished I were at home hanging out with you. Thank God, work is not far from home so I can head back for lunch almost every day. Cha Cha, this is the first letter of many to come that I'm going to write to you. When you're old enough, I'll print them out for you and then bind them into a book for you. Maybe this might be a wonderful 21st present for you. It'll bring back wonderful memories. Anyway, Cha Cha, the very first thing that I want you to know is that, you're adopted. That's the truth and daddy and mummy will be the first ones to let you know. However, the reality is that God has chosen YOU to be our son. When daddy and mummy got married, we were not in a hurry to have kids. As time went on, daddy and mummy heard a call from God. As time went on, the call became louder and clearer that we are to adopt the first child. And the first child is you. Cha Cha, we prayed very hard for you. We ...

This is probably the 2nd time that I'm home alone with Cha Cha and our helper. Babe is away and will be back tonight. In the past, whenever Babe had to travel or when he lived in Singapore for a couple of months, I didn't miss him as much. But now, even two nights seemed long. I kinda had a little trouble falling asleep. We are glad that Babe's boss didn't send him on many trips when the adoption happened. But we're kinda prepared that in the coming months, Babe might be travelling a little more. And yes, I thought I was used to him travelling but how wrong have I been. When I woke up yesterday, Cha Cha crawled into the room to greet me with his wide and beautiful smile. I asked him, 'Where's dada?' He looked at me and he started to clap. My heart just melted. Babe loves to clap with him and guess that's their little game. And maybe Cha Cha associated Dada with clapping. It was so cute. Last night, I missed Babe putting Cha Cha to sleep. I'm sure...

A week or so ago, I received news, or rather got the new via Facebook, that a family friend of ours went home to the Lord. She was suffering from cancer for a long time, maybe close to 10 years or so. My mum was quite close to her as they formed a firm friendship in the last few years. They would text and encourage each other. On the surface, I may seem to be taking her going home quite well. But inside, I do miss and feel for her family. I've know her and her husband for a very long time. As a young teen, I attended their wedding in church. Saw them get married, have kids, moved to Hong Kong to work, moved back to Singapore, taught one of their kids Sunday School, saw her falling sick, fighting cancer, watch her win cancer (so we thought), saw her battle cancer again and finally when she went home to the Lord, we won't there. Yes, it's sad and hard. But at the same time, I'm thinking, isn't it better for her that she's home with the Lord. The battle must have t...

So, Cha Cha has been with us for the past 4 months odd. We're going through the last sprint of probation with him. It's so so close and yet so far. Every day, I'm reminded of God's blessing upon us and at the same time, I know and understand that Cha Cha is on borrowed terms. Even if we pass our probation, he is still on borrowed terms as he is and never will be ours. He is on loan from God. Having Cha Cha in our lives, completely changed us. We're learning patience every day. Just when we thought that he's stopped whinging before sleeping at night, he starts again. And now, we're back to teething as his top 2 teeth are making their appearances. Every day is a new experience with Cha Cha. Even simple things like clapping his hands and picking food and putting into his mouth are huge milestones. We celebrate little things like these. I've had family and friends that remark that Cha Cha is so blessed and lucky to have us as parents. I tell them other wise....

So it finally hit me. I know what's wrong now. Two nights ago, I was chatting with a colleague when we had time to spare before the school concert. She was asking me if I was heading back to home for summer. As we were chatting, it finally dawn upon me. I am slightly homesick. Yes, going to admit it. I miss my family, JC, food and lots of food and my friends home. This is the longest stretch for the 5 years that I've been away from Spore. Comparing to last year, I was home almost every month. The last time I was back was in January for the school trip and then that was it. I miss JC. I miss cuddling her and talking to her. I miss having my huge family get togethers with my uncles, aunties, cousins and yes, my grandma. And now, my two grandmas. A couple of days ago, I was on Facetime with JC and when she said goodbye, she gave me kisses, flying kisses and then the screen kinda blacked out and my mum was yelling, she's giving you a hug! JC was hugging the phone. It's hard...

I've lost my voice for a couple of days. It started with last Friday when I woke up with a sore throat. Saw the doc and was told that I had swollen tonsils. Stayed at home but I had to work on Saturday, it was parents' day. Sunday came and went and I was still fine but when Monday hit, I had no voice. Like seriously no voice. Tuesday rolled along and yes, you guessed it, still no voice. I still went to work but after work I went to the doctor. Got myself three days off work. Which in a way is good because I get to rest my voice and hang out with little Cha Cha. I was thinking about my voice. The last time I lost it was about 5 years ago when I was still working in Singapore. At that time, it was almost an annual thingy that I'll lose it. And it was those moments that I really appreciate not being able to speak. Moving to Hong Kong, it didn't happen till now. But am I peeved that I lost my voice? No, actually, to a certain extent I'm glad. I get to talk less and list...