So there are days that I want to blog and I stop because mainly, there's just too much in my head that I want to write. And honestly, I don't even know how to categorize it. Is it family, life, my spiritual walk, my boys? Then, I tell myself, I'll write another day and then another day passes and again, I'm filled with more thoughts.
But then again, this is my blog. I'm not even sure if I've got readers. So I'm going to write my thoughts and yes it may be jumbled up but I don't care.
A while ago, Babe was close to being placed in a job that would have seen us move to a third world country in the region. If anyone asked me to move to give up my job in HK and move to a third world country a few years ago, I would say a definite no because I'm in my comfort zone. I like what my salary brings me every month. I love the fact that I've finally built up a family base in HK and HK has pretty much become my home. But when the news came of a possible move, I was excited. Elated. And I started researching and finding places that I could volunteer, schools for the kids and a bunch of stuff. But then.......the door shut. Yes, God didn't want the family to move. I was mad. Yes, mad. Mad that why God didn't want us to move. Mad that I'm willing to go and why is that door shut. Mad because I decided that in faith I would not be a Jonah and go in the opposite direction.
I couldn't figure out why. Why did God kinda open the doors for me to have a peek and only to shut them. It just drove me mad. But at the same time, He has shown me that He's still watching over the family. Guiding us and reminding us that He still have plans just like in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know I have plan for you", declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" And again, I was reminded that God isn't always talking about material blessings when He says that He's going to prosper me. But at the same time, I look at my life and realized, yes, I am blessed materially. God wants us, the Seet family to have a future. So that door shut and another door opened. And this door is perfect for this season. Babe was presented with another opportunity. Something that excites him, mentally stimulates and gives him somewhat flexi time with the family. He was able to bring Baba and Wawa for their school interviews when I couldn't. He was able to attend Baba's primary school talk with me. And I'm glad that he doesn't have to do crazy traveling. So yes, in short, God knows, He wants to prosper the Seet family and give the Seet family a future.
After sorting some of these thoughts in my head, a sermon was preached a few weeks later and this was put up at church. And I realized that 2014 started in fear. Yes, it was fear that started 2014. I was scared. Shit scared of what was going to happen because Babe was taking a break, got news of a baby that I really wanted. Babe doesn't want the baby but I knew God wanted that baby for us and God also wanted me to keep my mouth shut and not pushed for the baby and yes, all the fears that I had for 2014. But this year, I am at peace with God knowing that His plans are greater than mine. He knew the needs of the family and every one of those needs have been met. And so my year continued in peace.
So the January went and February rolled along. And again, am thankful that Babe was able to take time off from work to be with the family. We went back to Singapore and thereafter went to Phuket for a break with Babe's parents. It was a good rest with the family. The boys enjoyed immensely and so did the in laws. And again, when I look back, I'm at peace with myself because there's nothing that I ask more than this family and the time spent together.
We got a villa with our own pool. The kids had loads of time with Babe. And am thankful that Babe is the sort of dad that would clean diapers, shower and feed the kids. A hands on dad who wants to be there for his kids.
My grandma. Not sure how many more photos will I have of her. Looking back at my life, God must have had a purpose for everything. He provided me with a grandma who showed and lived out unconditional love and in turn, I'm learning from her to love my kids and understand the true meaning of unconditional love.
So yes, a bunch of rumblings and I need to remember to be thankful for everything. And that God has plans to prosper me and my family. Oh yes, a baby girl would make things almost perfect but if not, things are already very perfect! No need to ask for more!