What's Important

An ex-colleague wrote this on her status on Facebook, My pal in school told me, "I wanna excel & survive. Dun wanna skive & survive. Dun wanna excel & die. But the system dun allow, thus I choose to leave".

I read her status and I told her that I left because of what she wrote. And then I wrote on her status saying that if I stayed on, my sanity, health, marriage and everything would have taken a toll. And later on, I wrote telling her about a women's conference that I attended. The speaker was a working mum. She shared this with us. When she got married and was still working, she wanted to excel in being a wife, mother and yes, interestingly, she was a teacher too. But she couldn't. So she asked herself, what is important to her. And she prioritized. She wanted an excellent wife and mother and so, being a teacher, she'll settle for a good or fair. When I heard that, I thought how true. What is important to me? My husband is above all else and I will NOT allow work to take a toll on my marriage.

Well, there were thoughts that were running through my head. I've seen ex-colleagues leaving their kids to their parents or babysitters and their kids do not go home every night, only either at the end of the week or every other day. They spend more time with their students than their own kids. They probably spend more time at work than at home. And thereafter they lament why are they having problems at home. Look, I'm not a marriage or family expert or anything like that. But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that a marriage and a family takes time. If one is willing to sacrifice their husbands or wives or children for work, what does one expects in return?

Sure, I've made mistakes when I've left Babe at the bottom of the rung and sure, issues popped out and I've had to relook at my priorities and manage and rearrange them. When I decided to take the plunge to leave Spore to move to HK, it was done with discussions with Babe and only when he gave me his blessings and encouragement, I packed and left. God works in ways that we do not know. In 2 months, he found a job here. And the rest is history. But in December, when he decided to head back to Spore for work, although I didn't think it was a great idea, I supported him. To me, I'd rather be a supportive wife than be a negative and nagging one. But soon, he realized that it was not meant to be. And again, God works in ways that we really do not know. At the end of summer when we were planning to head back to HK, yet again, he was offered a job and he didn't even send out any resumes at all.

I've come to believe that when we put our lives in perspective and put what is important for us as priority, God takes care of everything. He does, everything falls into place. Yes, we were prepared to have less money as long as our marriage is intact and we're in the same country with each other. But in being prepared to give up one income, God has blessed us.