So it starts with Julie at 18 with an 8 day old infant and she's been infected with Aids in San Francisco. The photographer went through 7 years with her till she died. In that 7 years, she had maybe 5 kids, 4 of them were taken from her (if I remember correctly), had a couple of partners who were infected with Aids and were druggies. And the photographer even went on to set her up with her kid who was adopted and was with her in her final days.
Reading the story, it was very easy for me to say, how stupid can one person get? And what? Can't even feed herself and look at the filthy room that she has put herself in with her baby. Look! No wonder her kids were taken from her. Good! She deserved it! And well, that's the life that she has chosen. Poverty, drugs, along with Aids and kids. Why couldn't she bring herself to pull herself out of that hole?
Yes, I can go on and on and make those judgements on her. But as I read on, I felt sorry for her. She was in such a deep hole that she didn't know how to pull herself out. She knew that she screwed herself over. She did try to get clean but she didn't have the support. And her kids, I feel for her kids. And I feel for her when her kids were taken from her. Plus, look at her childhood. It was awful and no wonder she turned out the way she is. It's hard. I don't deny it.
Yes, those were my thoughts as well. But at the same time, I wonder, didn't she have choices? We make choices and from the choices we make, there are consequences. And these consequences sometimes bring along results that we like or we hate. In order words, it's a cycle. We also learn from the bad choices or decisions that we make.
I look at my life and am very thankful for people around me who were and are still there when I make bad or not so good decisions. And these are the same people who are there supporting me, waiting to catch me when I fall from the bad or wrong decisions I made. And these very same people never judge me when I make bad or wrong decisions. That's why I love them. Yes, they point and remind me that maybe, not a good choice. I persist and they say, yes, we're here and yes, stuffs up in my face, come, we'll give you a hug.
Then I look at Julie's life and I wonder, did she have the same kind of people that I have in my life? Was she lucid enough to realize that it might have not been a good idea to have so many kids? Why didn't she use protection? What was going through her head?
And my final thought, if I had a friend like Julie, would I reach out to her? Truth be told, I don't know. And I do not like that my answer is, I don't know.
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