Well, life never really goes the way you want it to. How do you know if 'the one' is really 'the one'? Life is hard, isn't it?
Babe called today and we were talking about stuff and about Muyang and Babe finally said that he thinks that Muyang may not be the one for us. He explained that he does not have to draw towards him as much as I do. He also mentioned that the connection between Muyang and him is not there. He went on saying that, we'll continue to see him and we can sponsor him if need be. But also mentioned that, now he does not feel that drawn to Muyang but he doesn't know if those feelings will change. So we're leaving at it.
Sure, of course, I felt sad and a little disappointed. I know that if I really push it and shove it, I'll get my way. But it's not always about me. It's about what's the best for Muyang and about Babe's feelings too. If Babe does not feel like me, then Muyang may not be the one. I strongly believe that if I'm asking for God's will, then His will will be clear for me. Not muddled like now. I understand that adopting a child is a big deal as well. I can't just go ahead because my heart
says so. It is hard for me to learn because I've always so stubborn and strong willed. And it's this trait in me that makes me scary and wanting my way the way I want it to be. But this is time for me to learn to let go and understand that God has a plan for us and also Babe's feelings are very important and at times, more important than mine.
Pray for us and also for Muyang as well.
2 comments:
I agree, if it's Gods will he will give you and your hubby agreement on it! Good approach to be considerate of his outlook. I trusted God to put Nick and I on the same 'map' about adopting and he did. Just keep praying and agreeing to be open to His plans and you and hubby will come together on it.
Beth,
Thanks so much for the encouragement. Sometimes I think I want too much and not consider what others think. We're praying and who knows what God's plan for us.
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