It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

It was a dark and stormy Tuesday night. I was sitting at home after gym about to have dinner when news flashed that the typhoon or gale or whatever signal number 8 will be hoisted up by 11pm. There I sat thinking....hmmm....maybe, just maybe no work tomorrow? That would be great! So there I was hanging out with Babe and Happy. Watching telly, teasing Babe and Happy, planning where and what I was going to do in San Diego and just doing stuff till about 1 in the morning when Babe looked at me and asked if I really thought that there wouldn't be work the next day. Reluctantly, I went to bed.

Nice and cosy in bed, and then beeps were sounding from my phone. First, Paula, no school! And next Simon, no school! And I thought, I'm going to ignore everyone and wake up at my normal time and then I'll text my bosses. So back to bed I went. At 7.30, I go up, texted my bosses and yup, true enough, no work! Woohoo! And that was when my day started. No, I couldn't go out because the wind and rain was just too strong. Called Joanne and was chatting with her. Thought of the gym and looked downstairs, the wind billowing, trees swaying from side to side. No one downstairs, so Angsana Spa and the gym were canceled too. Sat at home and started my telly watching and somewhat cleaning of the home from 10ish.

Evening came, stayed at home. Didn't even dare to go out for class as I had this fear that the bridge might be closed and the ferries and buses might stop running and I'll be screwed. So it was home with Babe and Happy. We had a good day just hanging out and watching telly.

While I was watching telly and Babe doing work, I watched Jon and Kate plus 8. I remembered one of the episodes that Cara and Maddy planned games for the family and everyone had so much fun. It brought me back to my memories of my childhood. When we were kids living in Pandan Gardens, we had the best times playing with our cousins. Dad had 10 siblings and us cousins are quite close as we grew up together. Uncle Albert, dad's third brother, lived the next block to us, and it was at his home or our home that the cousins would just go mad. There were times that we went to Uncle Steve's to play and hang out too.

Sure, we played our girlie toys like Barbie dolls and stuff like that. But the 'funnest' was playing Police and Thief and Hide and Seek. It was a riot! With Hide and Seek, we even invented our own version, it was called, Super Hide and Seek with the help of Tristan, our oldest cousin, he was known then as Ah Boy Kor Kor. So basically the seeker would go find the hiders and when the seeker finds the hiders, the hiders have to walk around with the seeker as he or she seeks others out but the twist of it is that, the hider can escape when the seeker is not looking to hide again. Each game lasts about 10 mins. It was so fun! I remember once we were looking for Jackie and we were yelling, 'Jackie, where are you?' and she answered, 'I'm here!' Course, she was found! Another time, someone hid her in a carton and we had problems finding her.

We were not just a bunch or neighbourhood kids that ran through the corridors like wild children. There were times that we sat down to read and share books with each other. I believe that our love for books and reading probably may be stemmed from childhood when we shared the books we read with each other. We probably had a mini library system amongst each other.

It was these times that we shared with our cousins that the bonds grew and bonded so tight that it does take a lot to pull us apart! I mean, even Eelynn and Jolynn who lived in Manila, we hung out only during their summer holidays but we're still very close. Each time I'm in States, I'll definitely see them. It's vice versa for them too. With Sharon, it's the same. We make sure that we try to see each other whenever its possible. Even though we may be countries and continents apart, the bonds will always be there. No matter whatever happens, we would rally around and help whenever we can. And I am very thankful for my cousins who are very supportive of our adoption journey.

I feel that we are truly blessed as a family. Yes, in our nuclear families, we are probably dysfunctional and lacking in some sense but with the big picture, there were always other uncles and aunties that would step in to guide us or be a role model for us. It was the same with our cousins. When I talk to my friends, most of them do not have such close bonds with their cousins and to me, it's just weird. And cousins, I love everyone of you!

I'm Walking on Sunshine

So Mr Sun has decided to come out for the weekend. It was glorious sunshine from Friday. Loved it. Babe and I went to the new outdoor pool for a swim. It was just heavenly. Wish we could have stayed longer but I had class that night. Dang!

Saturday came. Got up, called Eve. Had a great time chatting with her. Can't believe that in about 3 weeks I'll be seeing her! Whooopppeeeee! Can't wait. We're going to hang out in San Diego and probably Palm Springs and don't know where else she has plans for us. And there's also a possibility that we might get to hang out with Susan as well. Susan from uni. It'll be like a reunion. All we need is the Cremone Lounge! This is all so exciting. Just wishing the days will fly!

In the evening, we went out for dinner with Melissa, Paula and Nathaniel. It was a shame that Elaine couldn't make it. And well, was surprised that Babe actually wanted to join us for dinner too. I was glad that he came along. We had a smashing time. Mel did good in choosing a great restaurant with wonderful food and a view that was awesome and ambiance was just superb. Had good company. Lots of laughs and chatter. For a moment, I thought that we might be thrown out for making too much noise! And thanks Paula for the gift card too. Had an absolutely great night.

Sunday came, it was still hot and sunny. We went to get a suitcase for my trip. Thanks to the numerous flights this year and last, our suitcases have decided to retire. Poor them, me and my stuffing them to the brim. Oh actually, one of the cases, we misplaced the key when we came back. In the process of breaking the lock, we broke the suitcase! So anyway, this time, we bought 2 Samsonites. So this time, they better last! Now, I'm all ready to go, visit Eve, spend time with her and also shop! Woohoo! Can't wait!

I'm So Mad....So Mad!

Parents to front bail hearing over toddler twins' deaths

Two Brisbane parents charged over the death of their 18-month-old twins are due to face court for a bail hearing today. The bodies of the boy and girl were found in their Sunnybank Hills home on Monday. Their 30-year-old mother and 28-year-old father have been charged with failure to provide the necessities of life.

A court has been told the toddlers were malnourished and may have been dead for more than a week. Police say their charges could be upgraded to manslaughter or murder once post mortem examinations are complete. The twins' four siblings are in their grandmother's care.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/06/19/2279152.htm?section=australia

Twin toddlers found dead in their bedroom may have starved to death, prosecutors told an Australian court Tuesday.

Prosecutor Michelle Clarke said police officials found the bodies of an 18-month-old boy and girl in a “state of decay” and that they appeared to be malnourished, the national AAP news agency reported.

The gruesome discovery was initially made by an 11-year-old sibling who smelled something unusual in their suburban Brisbane home. The toddler’s 30-year-old mother allegedly told police she realized they had died on June 8 or 9. When asked by police how they died, the mother allegedly said, “I don’t think I fed them enough.” She added that she had been suffering from a cold at the time. One of the children weighed just 8.8 pounds, according to AAP.

The unidentified woman and her husband, 28, appeared on charges of failing to provide necessities of life after police found the bodies late Monday. According to court testimony, the children’s father told police he did not realize they had died until Monday, despite walking past their room several times since their death a week earlier

Clarke said when the bodies were discovered by one of the couple’s four other children, the child told the mother, “I know why you have been crying now.” The older children said they had rarely seen the twins, who had been kept in a front room of the house for most of their lives. The four other children are now in the care of their grandmother, AAP reported.

The couple had been enduring “significant relationship problems” and the children’s father had failed to support them, according to court testimony. Police prosecutor Sergeant Tina Green said charges would likely be upgraded when autopsy results are returned Thursday. "It's most likely they are heading towards manslaughter or murder charges," Green told the court. Magistrate Noel Nunan is holding the couple without bail until Thursday.

"The circumstance of the death of two young 18-month-old children is bizarre, given that both the parents had been in the house for approximately one week since their death,” Nunan said.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,368464,00.html

I have to say this. I have been seething for the last few days, ever since I read this news. I'm just so mad that I don't know what to say. Wait..This is what I want to say or yell out loud to the mother. "What the hell were you thinking? WTF is your problem? How can you have the heart to starve the children to death?"

I really hate it when parents use their children whenever they have fights. Children becomes pawns in the games that their crazy parents play. Yes, I was one of those pawns before. And I absolutely hated it. Hated it so much with a vengence! But reality is that, I had to learn to let go of my anger. And understand that it was not hard for my parents then. They were very young when they got married. I can understand a lot better if the children were yelled at, smacked or just manipulated just to get the attention. But endangering the lives of the kids to the point of death? That I don't get it. So what if the husband and wife were having issues? Ask for help? Call the Welfare Department or whatever but starving the kids? They are innocent. They never asked to be born. So why then punish them? They were already born to this world without much love and then...not given much food. Oh mine, that makes me so so mad!

Maybe close to a year ago, I had a friend that called me up when she had issues with a man that she was not married to. She had a child with this man. When I knew her, I thought they were married as she took on his surname. But as I got to know her, she told me that they were not married. Anyway, that's not the point. So they had a huge fight, she called me. I had a friend visiting but I dropped everything to see her. But I couldn't be with her that particular weekend as Babe and me were going away. So the weekend came and I did call her when I was away to ask how things were and she said it was fine. Came back to HK and she told me that her man was mad as he called the cops saying that she wanted to throw her son down and she was going to jump too. His action caused a lot of drama. She went on asking if I can imagine her doing that? And that her man was mad. I took it as it is. Didn't have a doubt of her words. But it was recently that she told me the truth. She DID threaten to throw her son down. Using a child, own flesh and blood as a bait and threat. That's low. Very low. Anyway, we're not talking to each other anymore not because of this. But rather, to me truth is very important. Anyway, that's not the main crux of this post.

I understand that couples have issues and they fight. But why use a helpless child to get what one wants. It brings me back to the book, 'The Child Called It', the mother did the same to him. She wanted the attention of her husband. But please, parents, don't do that. I've been that child before. It hurts to know that love wasn't the reason I was conceived. And it hurt even more when I was used as a pawn for thousands of reasons. But well, things have settled between my parents, I've grew my shell of defence, have Babe by my side and have the Lord that guided me through the pain. So things are much better, but it hurts and I get mad when I read news like this.

Friendship Company

I had dinner with some friends last night and a friend mentioned that, 'Hey, we're your family in Hong Kong!"

On the way home, I started pondering. Yes, I am very truly blessed in many, many ways in terms with friendship. God has provided me with friends in every stage of my life. Many of them have turned into a part of my family. It makes it even harder at times when it's time to say goodbye to some of my friends when they move away or when I move away. But deep down, I know, these are the friends that will be friends for life.

Then, Sandi Patty started ringing in my head. Years ago when I was at uni, the church that Stan was attending in Brisbane staged a musical before I left. It was Friendship Company by Sandi Patty. It was during that time that certain friendships were sealed and cemented. That was when I really got to know Amy. It's strange how life goes on and we hardly saw each other and when we meet up, we just pick up where we left off. It was also through uni life that Stanley became a major part of my life. It's hard for people to understand how I can have a male for a best friend, but you know what, Stan, is a gift from God as a brother to me. Someone that I know will always be there for me. And the songs below, at some or many points of my life, I've heard him sing a couple of times.

It was at uni that my friendship with Eve developed as well. With Eve, every moment with her is always cherished. It's very rare that we're even in the same continent much less the same timezone. I guess in many ways we are friends because we're quite similar in many ways. We're both very determined and focused in life. She has been a huge part of my uni lives. When I was Gold Coast, we hung out a lot and then when I went to do my masters, she was there for me as well. It's always rare to find a friend that has very similar qualities. It's always comforting to know that she'll be here in a heartbeat for me. But at the same time, its hard for us to see each other only once a year.

As I live this transient life, I've come to a point that I'm leaving it up to God to provide me friends along the way. When I came back from Australia after my undergrad, I hardly had friends in Spore. And the people that I met in my work in Spore made a huge difference to me. Sharon made such an impact in my life. When I left Spore, it was hard to leave that friendship behind. Yati made a huge gaping hole in my friendship heart when I left Spore too. Wish I could have been there more for them but living in HK makes that hard. There were heaps others. God provide friends in times that I thought that I would have no one to talk to.

Coming to Hong Kong, it was the same. Arriving here with no friends. God again prevailed. People that I thought were going to be friends, turned out otherwise. A couple of my good friends left and I was lonely, I'm not going to lie about it. Thank God, I had Babe, my best friend and soul mate. And then as I plodded along, again I met people that have become friends, firm friends. And with friendship, truth and trust is very important for me. Thank God for Carmen, Melissa, Paula, Simon, Susan and many others that have become support for me in many ways. When I shared our vision of adoption, they rallied around us. To me, wow, what more can I expect? And with an unexpected death of someone recently, it made me realise that life is short and yes, I've to treasure my friends as honestly, I never know when will be the last time that I'll see them.

I'm also very thankful of the family that I was raised in. My cousins, have become my best friends. Not many people have the opportunity to be really close to their cousins but I'm glad my cousins are my friends. Lina is my best friend ever since we were kids. I know we hardly have the time to meet and hang out and I miss her heaps. I do have make more effort to see her whenever I head back to Spore. With Eelynn, I see her once a year whenever I head to see Eve. I know I should spend more time with her. We grew up together. oh, not really. She lived in Manila when she was a kid and every summer, she'll head to Spore to spend time and it's strange that we always had this bond with each other. I'm truly thankful for all the cousins I have.

These songs are for you friends that have made a huge difference in my life. Such a difference that you may not realise. Maybe I've never said thanks enough for the friendship and love that you guys showered upon me but I truly appreciate it! And yes, I love everyone of you heaps!

Love Makes a Friend Be Like You
Sandi Patty

What made give your last cookie away
Or help me clean my room all day
Why would let me use your stereo
Or save me the middle of your Oreo

Why would you always try to be
there when I really really need you there to care
You're always willing to share

Love makes a friend be a friend like you
Love takes a friendship and turns it into
Something to last your whole life through
Love makes a friend be a friend like you

What makes you wanna give your heart away
What makes open up and say
All of the feelings that you hold inside
All of the secrets that you try to hide

Why would you always try to be
There when I really really need you there to care
You're always willing to share

Love makes a friend be a friend like you
Love takes a friendship and turns it into
Something to last for all life through
Love makes a friend be a friend like you
Love makes a friend be a friend like you

Forever Friends
by Sandi Patti

All around us things are changing
Seasons come and seasons go
Very few things last forever
Deep within our hearts we know

We’re forever friends
Bond by love that time can't take away
Forever friends caring in a special kind of way
Heart to heart and hand in hand
We'll stand until the end
Loves forever when your forever friends

We're all children of the father
In his keeping and his care
And the spirit that he gives us
Is the love we're meant to share

We’re forever friends
Bond by love that time can't take away
Forever friends caring in a special kind of way

And though we know it's time to say goodbye
We will always be together
And here's the reason why.

We’re forever friends
Bond by love that time can't take away
Forever friends caring in a special kind of way

Can You Reach My Friend

I got a call from an old friend
We laughed about how we had changed
But I could tell things weren’t going as well
as he claim

He tried to hide his feelings
But they only gave him away
The longer I listened,
The more I kept wishing
I knew the right words to say

Can You reach my friend ?
You're the only one who can
Lord, I know You love him
Make him understand
Can You reach my friend?
Bring his search to an end
Help him give his heart to You

We talked for more than an hour
And I smiled when he mentioned Your name
I said that I knew You

I told him the difference You made
He never thought he would need You
But maybe he’s changing his mind
As we said goodbye Lord
I told him that I had found
Something that he’d like to find

Can You reach my friend?
You’re the only One who can
Lord, I know You love him
Help him understand
Can you reach my friend?
Bring his searching to an end
Help him give his heart to You

Coz maybe he’s ready tonight
Lord, he said that he might
Need to call on You

My Sweet, Sour and Bitter weekend

My weekend started being sweet. Babe got tickets to watch Sex and the City on Friday night. It was surprising for me that he'll actually watch the girlie flick with me. But he did and it seemed to me that he actually enjoyed it. Enjoyed the show thoroughly and as usual pondered too much of life after watching.

Woke up early on Saturday with a heavy rainstorm. It was so heavy that we couldn't really see the apartments that were opposite us! Woke up early because Rimu, Lammie's dog came over to hang out with us as Lammie was going to Taipei for the weekend. And Happy being the spoilt brat, started attacking Rimu. And Rimu, no, he didn't even fight back. Love that dog! Well, that's the way we perceived it. At that point, I had this horror vision that Happy might tear Rimu apart and blood will be all over Rimu nice white fur! So we had to send Rimu back to his place and we hung out with him for a while. Now, I kinda know how Marina and her family must have felt when they dog sat Happy. So....no more asking friends to doggie sit my ill bred, spoilt and pampered pooch! Might be better to get someone to house sit our place or we'll pay for Happy to be at the kennel.

Black rainstorm went on and on and then.....it went to red rainstorm and finally amber. We went over to see Rimu a couple of times to make sure he wasn't scared or anything like that. When the rainstorm signal turned to yellow, we went out shopping. To us, it seemed that everything was fine. But Sunday came...it was different. So Sunday came, went to church still oblivious to the intensity or impact of the rain. Came back, brought Rimu to our place to hang out. Happy behaved a little better. Started reading the papers and then realised that there were people that died in the rainstorm, places flooded, money lost as stocks were damaged, homes destroyed and I felt so thankful that God kept us safe! We were just shopping, having dinner and doing regular things and not realising what the rain had actually done.

On early morning Monday, my phone beeped. I only had like 3 hours of sleep as I was surfing online looking for info. Got out of bed and rang my friend straightaway. Let's not reveal names but let's just say, someone that I really love. Things happened and she's fine but I felt horrid for not being there for her. She's a strong person, well, I think, she's way stronger than me. But it's just that she's in a situation that anyone would hate to be right now. She's trying to iron things out but at the same time, I wish that I'm there physically for her. I know she'll pull through but it's not easy to do it when she's alone in a place all by herself. Girl, I love you and don't worry, things will iron out. I really hate times like these that I'm not there, I feel helpless that I'm not even able to lend a shoulder or even an ear because of different timezones. This is a friend that flew in for my wedding and she told me, "Faith, if ever, ever, things go wrong, call me and I will arrange something for you and in 24 hours, a ticket will be waiting for you at the airport for you to fly out to wherever I am." This is the friend that's hurting now. And what can I do....nothing. I feel hollow and sad.

After the calls, rested for a while, had tea with Elaine and Melissa. Had a wonderful time. Then caught Prince Caspian. Wonderful show! Loved it! Got home, started surfing online again. And now, I find out someone that I knew online through Geoexpat is mssing! He fell into the water while watching the dragon boat races and they are still searching for him. We bantered a number of times online. He seemed to be a nice guy. I went to bed with a heavy heart. Life is really unpredictable. 2 sets of sad news in a day and as I reflected while doing my quiet time, I'm reminded of the movie, our only trust is in Jesus and with Him, things can go awry but He'll be there. I always believe that things happen for reasons and now, we don't know the reasons but when we look back, we may understand them better or sometimes, we'll never understand them. Yes, once again, God's teaching me lessons through the pains of others and my heart bleeds too. Yes, people may laugh and wonder why I feel so much. But this is me. I pray that one day, I will never, never lose this ability to feel the pain of others to remind me of the pain and suffering that Jesus went through. Maybe this is His way of teaching me to remain focus in Him.

A Call From God?

That was the question asked to me by our case worker. Got me a little stunned, flabberghasted and then....I tried not to burst out laughing. Time to backtrack. Well, I had the individual interview with the adoption unit yesterday. It was good but thanks to Babe as he went for the interview earlier and he kinda told me what questions to expect. Our case worker asked me why made us want to adopt? And I told him that we felt that this is a calling from God. And I guess in his best English trying to clarify what I said, he asked,' So, you mentioned that you received a call from God to adopt, right?' I was like....errrr....do not laugh. In my head, I had these funny visions of my phone ringing and God being on the line or praying in church and then a loud booming voice talking to me! Or one day at home, thunder and lightening and then a loud booming voice..... Oh well, things that people say in HK. I had to clarify and explain to him that it's not a call exactly, we're not charasmatic Christians. But rather the Holy Spirit moved us over time.

Our case worker brought up the issue of child care when we get the child. I told him that we'll be hiring a helper. Primarily, because I still intend to continue working, (my visa in HK is dependent on my job), and also with Babe, he does travel at least once a month, even though he has flexible work time, there are instances that he may not be around. So the case worker went on and say that, it may not be such an easy task to hire a good domestic helper. And I looked at him and smiled and said,' The greatest thing with my religion is that we believe that God will provide!' He had this look on his face and I had to assure him that we will actively look for a domestic helper and in the mean time, my family in Spore will provide the support along with the support network of wonderful friends in HK.

After the interview, I did reflect and thought of things. In the interview I mentioned to our case worker that in about 5 to 10 years' time, God and finances willing, I would like to stop work and be a foster mother taking in kids or go and volunteer in a children's home to work with kids. Whilst saying that, at the back of my head, I seriously wonder, am I willing to give up my material pleasures to do something like that? Yes, I am very thankful to God for providing me a well paying job now and for providing Babe a job with lots of career prospects. Very thankful and grateful but at the same time, am I willing to give up everything and live a simple life to achieve my aspirations? It's funny how over time, my life aspirations have become simpler. When I was university, I wanted to be this big time executive in the hotel business. Then I started teaching, and I wanted to be a head of department or someday run a school. And irony of it all, when I gave up my egoistical ambitions in life, God has given me so much blessings that it's beyond me! And this is the test, am I going to be able to believe, trust and have faith in God that He'll provide everything for me again?

S.A.D.

My name is Faith. I believe or suspect that I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or Depression. I didn't really realised that I suffered from it until I went to Australia to study. Why, of course, I didn't know, Singapore doesn't really have seasons, you know? Anyway, whenever winter comes around, I have a tendency to hide and hibernate at home because it's just too depressing to go out. Maybe that's when my love for pink started. It brightened my days up. But I've gotten used to it. And winters in Gold Coast didn't really last that long. But when I was in Sydney, it did get a little bad. But I had Babe, my ray of sunshine calling me every night and Eve my other ray of sunshine living in Sydney.

But....moving to Hong Kong is strange. I don't really get SAD in winters. But it's the summers that drive me sad! It just rains and rains. It's hard sometimes not to be affected by the weather. I try very hard. There are many days that I wish I could just be in bed and not leave! But I'm learning to cope. I've got my sunshine here so it's helping a lot. I've always wanted my daughter to have Sunshine as her middle name because Babe is my ray of sunshine and I want to be reminded of the different rays of sunshine in my life, Eve, Stanley, Lina and Sharon, they are in no particular order.

In about 6 weeks, I'll be off to California to hang in the nice sunshine with my ray of sunshine. I can't wait!

At A Price

I'm feeling lots better now. Guess last week was one of those days. Have family visiting again and maybe that made quite a bit of a difference.

WK's dad's siblings were in town. We had dinner with them on Saturday. Caught up and just chatted. On Sunday, we had lunch with Kum Hoong. Nice to see him all the time. And I did some thinking and reflection over the weekend. I've come to a conclusion that in life there's a price to pay for everything. Sacrifices have to be made all the time.

Yes, working in Hong Kong gives me more money, lots more time with WK and time for myself. But at the same time, I do miss out on my family and friends. But at the same time, if I didn't take the plunge and move to HK, I know for a fact that I'll be miserable in Spore. I truly hate to admit this, but making more money makes a lot of difference. Honestly, if I didn't work in HK, I wouldn't be able to visit and spend time with Eve once a year. It's truly a blessing in that aspect.

So.....when I do the sums.....materially, emotionally, physically, HK makes more sense at this point of time. Sure, I'll still miss home and miss my family and friends at times. But, it's always only 3 and half hours away. Plus.....Babe tapao me food whenever he comes back to HK.