Today's the last day of January and well, I've been thinking about my life so far. Yes, I know, this should be written at the end of 2009 and not now. But then again, I'm not one that follow the norm.
Anyway, as I sat on the bus on the way home after sending Babe off at the airport, I pondered and thought of my life. As I pondered, reflected and thought of my life, I realized that God had, has and is still doing wonders in my life. So many things have happened in my life and when I sat on the bus, I was in awe and in amazement of how much God had and is still carrying me through all these obstacles that I've been and am still going through. Two things really stood out while I sat on the bus.
The first thing, Babe. Yes Babe, the reality is that I never expected and would in my wildest dreams expect to be married to Babe. I may have written this before and I'll write it again. When I met Babe when I was 15 in church, I was gobsmacked, flabberghasted and had the biggest crush on him. It was love at first sight for me! But can't say the same for him towards me! Every Saturday, I would go to Youth Fellowship and hope and wish that Babe would turn up. And the interesting thing was that when I was 17, Babe called me at home and started chatting with me. Yes, let's just say that the rest is history. At 15, I never would never be expected that I'll be married to him. And now, as we lead our married lives, it can be difficult at times but every moment of it is worthwhile and sweet. Some of you might know that Babe and me are leading a commuting marriage. Of course, it's not the best option, however, we believe that God has a purpose and reason for everything. At the same time, we know that whatever that happens, we have to remember that God leads us and never us leading Him. We are praying everyday for God's direction and it's a constant reminder for us that God is in control of our lives and not us.
And next thing that really struck me was where God has led me to. Like I wrote before, I never expected to be living in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is probably one of the last places that I thought that I would be living in. But God has led me and Babe to a place that shook our faith in some ways and learning to rely on God. Before Babe left this evening, we had a conversation. I said to him that I believe that God had sent us to Hong Kong for a purpose and reason. And I went on saying that if we stayed in Singapore, our faith in God would be stagnant, our lives would be mundane, and basically our lives would be the same and not really change. It was then, that it has reaffirmed my belief that yes, God brought us on this journey to really experience Him in ways that we've never really expected. In Singapore, we never really cared about going to join a bible study or a care group. We were just pew warmers. Just going to church for the sake of going and then be more interested in saying hi to friends. But in Hong Kong, I totally look forward to care group. Love going to church and now, I'm kinda torn between two churches, still trying to figure out trying which one to go. And I still don't have more than 20 friends in either one of the churches. But importantly, I've learnt it is so crucial to worship God with the right heart and sing, clap and dance away. I must admit and confess and repent that I used to think that it's strange to have a band, have drums, dance and sway while singing praises to God. But now, having gone to visit different churches, I admit that I'm wrong. And I'm sorry. God has led us to two wonderful churches and these two churches, have been instrumental in our spiritual growth. God in His ways, sent people, real random people so I thought at that point of time, to invite us to church and to care group. And it was over time, that I realized that each time we run into the Hudd family on the ferry, God had a purpose. And it is through them we started to attend a care group. And through them, we met other Christians and wonderful to know that from not knowing anyone from God's family to now, having a wonderful care group that prays for us. And also God bringing a sister in Christ to me too. Dana is my prayer warrior. It is so comforting to know that God has brought so many brothers and sisters to me. And God is still leading and I am still wanting to grow and learn more from Him.
And that's my life so far. Well, not just, and I'm still counting my blessings everyday. I know that God will never fail us and whatever and wherever He leads us, we know that He's in control and I know sometimes, it's hard but I do love this adventure and journey that God is leading us on. And I say that with all my heart, PRAISE THE LORD!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Solitude
Well, since Babe has been away for some time, I've been spending quite a bit of time alone. I've got really well-meaning friends that would call and check and get me out. But truth for the matter, I do enjoy my time alone quite a bit.
On Friday night I was meant to be out but dinner got cancelled but I had a good and relaxing time chilling out at home. Yesterday, I got up and was planning to head to the gym but banking stuff took too much time and then I missed my gym class. But not a prob, got myself a 2 hour massage instead and after that, when for a manicure and then got home. And again, had a good time, chilling at home.
I know that it's hard to believe that I actually enjoy time alone. But I'm not really alone as Babe would call every 30 mins to talk and chat and then he'll call again. I enjoy the solitude, the quiet time and quietness that I can hear my thoughts and reflect upon them. Guess with my job, always being surrounded by people, sometimes the noise and the people do get to me and I like the quietness and just being by myself. Guess this is the reason why I've never really like flatmates other than Babe.
On Friday night I was meant to be out but dinner got cancelled but I had a good and relaxing time chilling out at home. Yesterday, I got up and was planning to head to the gym but banking stuff took too much time and then I missed my gym class. But not a prob, got myself a 2 hour massage instead and after that, when for a manicure and then got home. And again, had a good time, chilling at home.
I know that it's hard to believe that I actually enjoy time alone. But I'm not really alone as Babe would call every 30 mins to talk and chat and then he'll call again. I enjoy the solitude, the quiet time and quietness that I can hear my thoughts and reflect upon them. Guess with my job, always being surrounded by people, sometimes the noise and the people do get to me and I like the quietness and just being by myself. Guess this is the reason why I've never really like flatmates other than Babe.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Church is Not a Social Club
Before I start, I'm going to make this clear, this post is based on my thoughts and I'm not here to speak bad of my home church. I love my home church dearly. The senior pastor there is like my spiritual dad. But rather, this is a post on how I perceive things and also a reflection if I've outgrown my home church or my feelings and thoughts have changed over time and it may not be aligned with my home church.
When I was back for Christmas, I attended Christmas Praise Night Service and one Sunday Service (I could have attended 2 services but I chose not to attend the service the afternoon that I flew out). On Christmas Praise Night service, I felt home, seeing old friends and singing Christmas carols. When the pastor started preaching, the person in front of me, proceeded to nod and nod and probably slept throughout the message. A couple others around me did the same. I sat there pondering, are they here just to nod and nap when the message is going on? After the service, the very people who were nodding and napping, they went off taking to their friends and socializing very awake now. Sunday rolled on and during the message, it was my turn to sneak out of the message. I went to the toilet, walked around, found Joanne feeding JC and then hung out with them for a while before heading back into the service. There I sat thinking and reflecting, why am I in church when I'm not even bothered to listen to the message and the singing of the hymns did not even touched me?
Today, I went to church in HK. I was meant to be in church in 9.30 for a briefing and I rushed and wanted to be in church on time. After the briefing, my friend and I were waiting for the elevator to come to bring us to the sanctuary. We wanted to be in the sanctuary on time. We felt the sense of urgency. Got to the sanctuary and we had three mins left. I didn't go to the bathroom which I should have. The band came on and I thoroughly enjoyed and felt touched by God during Praise and Worship. The speaker came on and I listened intently and even held my bladder till I could no longer hold to go to the bathroom. After the service, while walking to the train station, I had a discussion with my friend about the message today.
Now sitting at home, I look and reflect on the vast difference. The reality is that I attend a mega church now, I don't know anyone there. Actually, I take that back, I know maybe less than 10 people there and the service that I attend has maybe 500 people. In Singapore, the church I attend has maybe 250 in a service and I know probably 200 of them. I don't do any socializing on some days in the church in Hong Kong. I just go and after service I leave feeling so refreshed and renewed. I realised that it's no longer who I know and who I hang out in church, but rather, am I truly worshiping God in church. That's way more important than anything else. I used to think that bands, dancing and jumping should not be allowed in church but I was so wrong. It's clear in the bible that we should sing a new song to the Lord and sing and dance unto Him. And sometimes in Singapore, I feel that this is what we are lacking. We don't seem to be truly praising Him but rather dragging and making the songs not appealing. Yes, I admit, my mindset is changing and well, I don't know if my home church will be my home church when I head back to Spore. But one thing I'm truly thankful, I'm glad that God has brought me to a church in HK that makes me feel truly refreshed, renewed and revitalized every Sunday. This is more than enough for me.
When I was back for Christmas, I attended Christmas Praise Night Service and one Sunday Service (I could have attended 2 services but I chose not to attend the service the afternoon that I flew out). On Christmas Praise Night service, I felt home, seeing old friends and singing Christmas carols. When the pastor started preaching, the person in front of me, proceeded to nod and nod and probably slept throughout the message. A couple others around me did the same. I sat there pondering, are they here just to nod and nap when the message is going on? After the service, the very people who were nodding and napping, they went off taking to their friends and socializing very awake now. Sunday rolled on and during the message, it was my turn to sneak out of the message. I went to the toilet, walked around, found Joanne feeding JC and then hung out with them for a while before heading back into the service. There I sat thinking and reflecting, why am I in church when I'm not even bothered to listen to the message and the singing of the hymns did not even touched me?
Today, I went to church in HK. I was meant to be in church in 9.30 for a briefing and I rushed and wanted to be in church on time. After the briefing, my friend and I were waiting for the elevator to come to bring us to the sanctuary. We wanted to be in the sanctuary on time. We felt the sense of urgency. Got to the sanctuary and we had three mins left. I didn't go to the bathroom which I should have. The band came on and I thoroughly enjoyed and felt touched by God during Praise and Worship. The speaker came on and I listened intently and even held my bladder till I could no longer hold to go to the bathroom. After the service, while walking to the train station, I had a discussion with my friend about the message today.
Now sitting at home, I look and reflect on the vast difference. The reality is that I attend a mega church now, I don't know anyone there. Actually, I take that back, I know maybe less than 10 people there and the service that I attend has maybe 500 people. In Singapore, the church I attend has maybe 250 in a service and I know probably 200 of them. I don't do any socializing on some days in the church in Hong Kong. I just go and after service I leave feeling so refreshed and renewed. I realised that it's no longer who I know and who I hang out in church, but rather, am I truly worshiping God in church. That's way more important than anything else. I used to think that bands, dancing and jumping should not be allowed in church but I was so wrong. It's clear in the bible that we should sing a new song to the Lord and sing and dance unto Him. And sometimes in Singapore, I feel that this is what we are lacking. We don't seem to be truly praising Him but rather dragging and making the songs not appealing. Yes, I admit, my mindset is changing and well, I don't know if my home church will be my home church when I head back to Spore. But one thing I'm truly thankful, I'm glad that God has brought me to a church in HK that makes me feel truly refreshed, renewed and revitalized every Sunday. This is more than enough for me.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Heaven
Last Sunday, Pastor Tim preached on heaven. It got me thinking a little. A couple of days before going to church, I read in the news about a certain CEO in Singapore dying from a liposuction surgery. Well, liposuction surgery has always been somewhere on my to do list. Yes, I'm stating this as a matter of fact. But after Sunday's message, I'm thinking twice about it. Well, honestly, it's not dying in the liposuction surgery that bothers me. But rather dying and then standing in front of God and shuffling my feet, saying, hmmmm, ummmmm, I kinda died and got here because of a liposuction surgery that went wrong. So guess I've to rethink the liposuction surgery. For now, gym will work! If and when I get to heaven, I want to be able hold up my head high and tell God that I've lived life for Him.
At the end of the service, Pastor Tobin brought up that a family is like a little heaven or a taste of heaven on earth. That also got me thinking too. Sure, I don't want my family to be hell on earth but rather heaven on earth. I want Babe and my future kids to love coming home and be together as a family and have a taste of heaven on earth. Thank God, there are loads of times that I do see that little glimpse of heaven in our family and there are also times that it seems like it's a little hell. But being in church that morning, gave me a big reminder of what's heaven on earth is like.
At the end of the service, Pastor Tobin brought up that a family is like a little heaven or a taste of heaven on earth. That also got me thinking too. Sure, I don't want my family to be hell on earth but rather heaven on earth. I want Babe and my future kids to love coming home and be together as a family and have a taste of heaven on earth. Thank God, there are loads of times that I do see that little glimpse of heaven in our family and there are also times that it seems like it's a little hell. But being in church that morning, gave me a big reminder of what's heaven on earth is like.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Happily Ever After?
The past Christmas holidays was a good reminder that love may not necessary be happily ever after. I know, i sound cynical and I just attended a wedding too. But please don't be mistaken that I didn't enjoy the wedding dinner. On contrary, I had a really good time reconnecting with friends and seeing the beautiful couple tango down the aisle. Really beautiful.
During the time I was back in Spore, I met a friend whose wedding I attended many, many years ago. She's a lovely girl. We talked and I asked how she was. Sure, I heard from friends that she was separated from her husband. But I wanted to hear from herself and not from others. She started telling me about stuff. And I thought in my head, 'They were such a great couple! Never knew that they would end!'. Of course, there's always two sides of the story but whatever it is, I really never expected the outcome that she told me.
A couple days after my chat with her, we attended a wedding dinner. When the powerpoint slide came on, tears almost rolled down my cheeks. But no, cannot ruin my makeup! It was so so sweet and it totally reminded me of the wedding vows that I took some seven years ago. I sat and wonder if Babe and me would really stand the test of time.
A wedding is probably an event that last a day or two but a marriage for most is for a lifetime. However, sometimes it doesn't. That happened to my friend. A marriage takes a lot of work and I do not deny that. There are days that are great and some not too good and some, I just want to throw the towel in. But very often, I am reminded that God has given me a man who loves me in totality and I should do the same. I am not perfect and therefore I cannot expect perfection. For now, I can say, we are doing the best that we can for our happily ever after. But ask me in 10 years' time, maybe the answer might be different but whatever it is, I know that I love Babe and yes, everyday, we are working towards a better and loving relationship even though there are difficult days ahead.
During the time I was back in Spore, I met a friend whose wedding I attended many, many years ago. She's a lovely girl. We talked and I asked how she was. Sure, I heard from friends that she was separated from her husband. But I wanted to hear from herself and not from others. She started telling me about stuff. And I thought in my head, 'They were such a great couple! Never knew that they would end!'. Of course, there's always two sides of the story but whatever it is, I really never expected the outcome that she told me.
A couple days after my chat with her, we attended a wedding dinner. When the powerpoint slide came on, tears almost rolled down my cheeks. But no, cannot ruin my makeup! It was so so sweet and it totally reminded me of the wedding vows that I took some seven years ago. I sat and wonder if Babe and me would really stand the test of time.
A wedding is probably an event that last a day or two but a marriage for most is for a lifetime. However, sometimes it doesn't. That happened to my friend. A marriage takes a lot of work and I do not deny that. There are days that are great and some not too good and some, I just want to throw the towel in. But very often, I am reminded that God has given me a man who loves me in totality and I should do the same. I am not perfect and therefore I cannot expect perfection. For now, I can say, we are doing the best that we can for our happily ever after. But ask me in 10 years' time, maybe the answer might be different but whatever it is, I know that I love Babe and yes, everyday, we are working towards a better and loving relationship even though there are difficult days ahead.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Already 2010
Can't believe that it's already the 4th day of 2010. Time does fly really fast. Well, for the past two weeks, I've been in Spore and with this trip, I didn't bring my laptop along and kinda forgotten my camera too. So this trip ended up with not many photos and well, not being connected too. Which is actually really good because I got to really spend time with Babe, family and friends.
The highlight of the trip was spending loads of time with Babe. The morning drives with Babe, the eating, the talking and generally, the time spent with Babe. The other highlight was attending Colin and Iris' wedding. It's really nice to see such a sweet couple getting married. And knowing that they really looked and are still looking towards God for direction. And another highlight, catching up with friends. I know sometimes it is hard to catch up with friends that I've not seen for ages and not everyone has the time to meet up with me and that's why I really appreciate when someone really goes out to make time for me. Oh, hanging out with the babies, a real super duper highlight! Manage to see little Rizq before he left for Sydney with his parents. Caught up with little Gabriel, gee, little spidey boy can really crawl fast! And not forgetting little JC, now also known as the chewer. When we stayed at Conrad for 2 nights, she came and swam at the pool with us. Had a superb time. Even Babe was so intrigued by her.
So this new year, what are my hopes and resolutions? I don't know to be honest. My hope firstly, to have a better relationship with the Almighty and then the next hope, to have a better relationship with Babe. Not that we don't have a good relationship now, but it's always better to have an even better relationship. Yes, better is the key word. Resolutions, to get my ass to the gym more often. Well, let's make it, at least thrice a week. That's not too much to ask for isn't it? Let's see if I can do that. Other than whatever that's mentioned above, I don't really have much hopes and resolutions. Actually, one more simple one, I just want to be happy. And hopefully, that's not too much to ask.
So there you go, my happy ending to a beautiful year and a nice start to a new year too. Wonder what adventures God will bring me on this year. I do love the excitement in my life!
The highlight of the trip was spending loads of time with Babe. The morning drives with Babe, the eating, the talking and generally, the time spent with Babe. The other highlight was attending Colin and Iris' wedding. It's really nice to see such a sweet couple getting married. And knowing that they really looked and are still looking towards God for direction. And another highlight, catching up with friends. I know sometimes it is hard to catch up with friends that I've not seen for ages and not everyone has the time to meet up with me and that's why I really appreciate when someone really goes out to make time for me. Oh, hanging out with the babies, a real super duper highlight! Manage to see little Rizq before he left for Sydney with his parents. Caught up with little Gabriel, gee, little spidey boy can really crawl fast! And not forgetting little JC, now also known as the chewer. When we stayed at Conrad for 2 nights, she came and swam at the pool with us. Had a superb time. Even Babe was so intrigued by her.
So this new year, what are my hopes and resolutions? I don't know to be honest. My hope firstly, to have a better relationship with the Almighty and then the next hope, to have a better relationship with Babe. Not that we don't have a good relationship now, but it's always better to have an even better relationship. Yes, better is the key word. Resolutions, to get my ass to the gym more often. Well, let's make it, at least thrice a week. That's not too much to ask for isn't it? Let's see if I can do that. Other than whatever that's mentioned above, I don't really have much hopes and resolutions. Actually, one more simple one, I just want to be happy. And hopefully, that's not too much to ask.
So there you go, my happy ending to a beautiful year and a nice start to a new year too. Wonder what adventures God will bring me on this year. I do love the excitement in my life!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)