Before I start, I'm going to make this clear, this post is based on my thoughts and I'm not here to speak bad of my home church. I love my home church dearly. The senior pastor there is like my spiritual dad. But rather, this is a post on how I perceive things and also a reflection if I've outgrown my home church or my feelings and thoughts have changed over time and it may not be aligned with my home church.
When I was back for Christmas, I attended Christmas Praise Night Service and one Sunday Service (I could have attended 2 services but I chose not to attend the service the afternoon that I flew out). On Christmas Praise Night service, I felt home, seeing old friends and singing Christmas carols. When the pastor started preaching, the person in front of me, proceeded to nod and nod and probably slept throughout the message. A couple others around me did the same. I sat there pondering, are they here just to nod and nap when the message is going on? After the service, the very people who were nodding and napping, they went off taking to their friends and socializing very awake now. Sunday rolled on and during the message, it was my turn to sneak out of the message. I went to the toilet, walked around, found Joanne feeding JC and then hung out with them for a while before heading back into the service. There I sat thinking and reflecting, why am I in church when I'm not even bothered to listen to the message and the singing of the hymns did not even touched me?
Today, I went to church in HK. I was meant to be in church in 9.30 for a briefing and I rushed and wanted to be in church on time. After the briefing, my friend and I were waiting for the elevator to come to bring us to the sanctuary. We wanted to be in the sanctuary on time. We felt the sense of urgency. Got to the sanctuary and we had three mins left. I didn't go to the bathroom which I should have. The band came on and I thoroughly enjoyed and felt touched by God during Praise and Worship. The speaker came on and I listened intently and even held my bladder till I could no longer hold to go to the bathroom. After the service, while walking to the train station, I had a discussion with my friend about the message today.
Now sitting at home, I look and reflect on the vast difference. The reality is that I attend a mega church now, I don't know anyone there. Actually, I take that back, I know maybe less than 10 people there and the service that I attend has maybe 500 people. In Singapore, the church I attend has maybe 250 in a service and I know probably 200 of them. I don't do any socializing on some days in the church in Hong Kong. I just go and after service I leave feeling so refreshed and renewed. I realised that it's no longer who I know and who I hang out in church, but rather, am I truly worshiping God in church. That's way more important than anything else. I used to think that bands, dancing and jumping should not be allowed in church but I was so wrong. It's clear in the bible that we should sing a new song to the Lord and sing and dance unto Him. And sometimes in Singapore, I feel that this is what we are lacking. We don't seem to be truly praising Him but rather dragging and making the songs not appealing. Yes, I admit, my mindset is changing and well, I don't know if my home church will be my home church when I head back to Spore. But one thing I'm truly thankful, I'm glad that God has brought me to a church in HK that makes me feel truly refreshed, renewed and revitalized every Sunday. This is more than enough for me.
2 comments:
Thank you for your very frank open heartfelt post. Jasmine, i totally agree with you - the church ain't a club. But sad to say, many people in church/s do these acts of sin; not really caring about their spiritual growth and in the same time grieving the Holy Spirit.
I guess that is why Pastors often get discouraged (not because of the lack of respect people give to them but the fact that people aren't really sensitive to their spiritual).
- Mark 8:36 "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"
Once again, thank you!
Hey Jon,
I didn't even know that you read my blog! Honestly, when I wrote this post, I didn't want people to take it the wrong way. Like you say, it grieves God and the Holy Spirit the way some people treat church. I do hope and pray for a revival in our home church soon.
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