A Life I Left Behind

I started thinking about the life that I left behind in Singapore when an ex-student and her mum wrote me an email. Then last week, I started to think more about it when ex-colleague told me that she had enough and she's really going to leave MOE. I started to think more about what I left behind.

When Joy and her mum wrote to me, I felt very touched. Duane's mum still keeps in contact with me. Some of my older ex-students still send me emails and get in touch with me through Facebook too. I miss them quite a bit. I guess, I do miss Joy and the last batch of kids that I taught before I left WDP. Every year, I tell myself, that this is the best kids that I've taught. But honestly, the last batch of kids were truly the best kids that I've taught. Even when I went to WDP over CNY hols, some of them still remembered me and they came running towards me. I really felt touched and I really miss them heaps! I miss some of my ex-colleagues too. But reality, I miss my students more than them.

But when my ex-colleague told me that she's really throwing in the towel, I truly understand how she feels and know what's she's going through. She's going through such a hard time and she's struggling to stay afloat. She only feels happy when she's with her students. That was how I felt too. She told me that she would go to bed crying herself to sleep. I didn't go through that but I had problems sleeping. But the irony was that I couldn't sleep because I hated the management and all the redundant stuff that I had to do just for the sake of doing and not because of the kids. I'd rather be spending my time with the kids in class. Everyday was filled with so much dread that I knew that I had to walk away before it truly ate me up and my precious students suffer from my hatred of work. It was sad that I had to leave not because of them but the system that created an unfriendly environment for the teachers.

Now, looking back, I do wish sometimes I didn't leave that behind as I really miss those little cute and adorable kids. But then again, I have no regrets of leaving the professional work behind. I have no qualms in saying that I truly need that break from teaching in Spore or else, I would turn into one of those hateful and spiteful teachers. Friend, I will be praying for you. You know, I'll always be supportive of you, no matter what decision you make. And my ex-students, I really miss you kids. You have taught me more than I can ever teach you kids! Love you all!