Thy Will Be Done

Finally, all the papers have been lodged into the Social and Welfare Department of Hong Kong for the processing of our adoption. We're very excited of what's going to happen next. But I'm not going to be overtly excited about it because we're going to live it in God's hands. If He thinks that we're suited to be parents to a child that need a family, we'll be glad to be the chosen ones. But if He thinks that we are not suited or that its not time yet, that's fine by us too. Ultimately, God is in charged of everything and He has the world in His hands!

In His time, in His time,
He makes all thing beautiful in His time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all thing beautiful in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

When I left the building after dropping off the forms, this song rang in my head. The forms took longer than expected for us to fill in, the medical examinations took a long time and things got slowed down. Initially, I was upset with myself and then I realised that...I'm not in control, God is. In the grand scheme of things, I'm just a little pawn, doing His will. The time delayed, gave me time to read and research, hang out with a mum, understand a lot more things about myself and the dynamics of having a child, convince more family of our stand and a whole lot more. We watched Juno too and had the opportunity to see the perspective of a teenage mother who decided to give up a child for the child to have a better future. And that made me to think and be sure that I can give that child that's place in our hands really a better future.

Over the years, God has shown us so much. He has really help me to develop patience. Babe and me took ten years to get married. Bringing a child into our lives is a huge decision and that's why it took us such a long time as well. Please do not misunderstand that we can't have a child and that's why we're turning into adoption. The reality is that, I sincerely feel it in the gut of my tummy that this is what we are called to do. Maybe after the adoption goes through then I may have a biological child. But that's for later. I cannot guarantee that we will be the best parents on Earth but we will try our best. Sure, it scares us that we don't have family in HK to help us but we are blessed with wonderful friends who have already offered to help and chip in. I thank God for these wonderful people that I've met. Friends, you know who you are, thanks and love you.

After today, my shoulders feel lighter, a couple of burdens have been lifted. One of them is the adoption and the other, maybe, I may talk about it some other day or maybe never. In His Time, that song rings so much in my head all the time because it is time and time again that God shows me that In His Time, He shows me so much and I learn so much. It is His time that He decides for the people to come into our lives and it is again in His time that He decides to bring people away and replace them with others. Whatever it is, it is always God's timing over mine. I realised that in all these things, all I need, God, Babe and lots of trust and faith in God and everything else will fall into place.

Had lunch with Susan and we talked about something that stuck with me as we said bye. I love Susan. She really someone that I connect with and makes me think. She said that we have so much in terms of materials and emotions and what is it to us to share or give back a little of what we have to the community, charity or whatever. That struck me and I thought and mulled over it. Yes, God has given me so much and what's it to me to share a little of my money, a little of my time or a little of whatever God has so richly blessed me with. What's is it to me to buy a friend a lunch or dinner once in a while? What is it to me to share a little of my time with some of my friends? Time for change and time for giving back.

Lord, I pray that I will be a better person and do your will.