Monday, April 07, 2008

Where is God when I Don't Need Him

This question rung through my head loud and clear last Sunday and yesterday at church. It finally dawned on me that I've become this person that discards God and pushes Him out of my busy life when He's not needed. I'm become this lame and shallow person without even knowing and trying. Not sure, if I deserve a laugh or a huge smack. The reality, it scares and is scaring the shit out of me!

Isn't it sad that we push our friends away when things are fine and dandy and call them only when we need them? Don't we hate those kind of people. And irony of it all, that's my relationship with God. When I was doing my masters in Sydney, I did my quiet time fervently and almost every night without fail. I was worried about money, grades and everything. I was afraid that if I didn't walk close enough to God, He'll cast me aside and my life would be in a worse state than it was already. My time in Sydney ended and relationship with God somewhat took a backseat.

In HK, it was the same relationship that I had with God. Before Babe came to HK, I did my quiet time regularly and then Babe came....God took backseat. Then Babe had a mini mid life crisis and then God was seek every night. Then crisis was over and then adoption came and God again was on the cards. And now, where's God again? I look at myself and wonder, what's the difference between me and a user? Don't we hate friends that are users and so, what's the difference between me and them then.

Time to get right and be a lot more focus in my relationship with God. It's enough of being a Christian that only looks for God in need. I've to thank Pete for that little remainder even though I don't think he realised that he did that.

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