Eating

I've been feeling pretty good with my eating lifestyle so far. Been eating 3 meals a day and hardly any snacks in between....Even when I eat out, been choosing low carbo, not sure about low fat though. Cooking at home, low fat, low carbo....low, low everything....Hoping to lose weight. I was at Marks and Spencer today having a look around. Well, tried a couple of pants and realised that I've grown into a size 14....and I'm like what....I'm getting as big as a bus!!!

On the way home, I was feeling a little depressed about my impending transformation into a bus. Then I thought, ok, I'm going to cook porridge and then going to go to the gym. Then I got home...Feeling tired...no, never mind, I'll go to the gym tomorrow. Been out late last night feeling a little tired. Then had my dinner, low fat, low oil, low carbo and and the low stuff....And after dinner...about an hour ago, I'm like feeling peckish...And thought, ya, i've got popcorn....going to pop the popcorn and have my snack...And now, I'm feeling guilty over my yummy buttery popcorn. My issues with weight....Always fighting over it.....

I had fun last night. It's been a long time that I came back past 2 in the morning....First met Simon and brought him to the 'Newbie Net Social'. Had drinks and pizza. It was nice catching up with everyone. After that we went to Lan Kwai Fong to meet the 'Experienced Nets'. We went to like 3 or 4 bars, can't even remember. There was this bar that we were at that was pretty interesting. It was like karoake but it's different. There's a live band and you can pick a sound and then go up to the stage to sing. It was pretty good fun! Obviously I didn't go up there. It reminded me of Minskys in Sydney. Eve and me used to go there almost every weekend. Oh favourite place. You sing your lungs out with everyone, real fun.

11 pm

Hong Kong

Eat to Live or Live to Eat

Another philosophical post....So readers be warned....I love to eat....Yes, love to eat!!! As you can tell from my size....But since going to the gym and trying to lose weight....I'm trying to move from living to eat to the eat to live side.

When everyone found out that I'm moving to Hong Kong, they are like....oh be careful with your eating....Yes, this is the greedy pigs' paradise and of course I'm in the greedy pig zone. I love food. Since living here for about 6 weeks, eating out.....is becoming an adventure. I'll go out to the restaurant and then look at the menu and I'm like....what do I want to eat because I can't read chinese. Take last night for an example. I went to Tsuen Wan with Michelle, thinking that we're going to explore the suburbs. Walking through Tsuen Wan looking at all the nice chinese restaurants and we're like....What should we eat? And guess what, we ended up at a sushi place because we know what we're eating and we don't have to deal with the wait staff. As much as I want to live to eat, it's not easy because I don't know how to read what I want to eat. It's to the point that I'm relying on my boss to help me order lunch everyday.

Then today, after gym, I was thinking about dinner....What should I have? Nothing in my fridge except for salad leaves and a piece of steak. Steak still in the freezer. I could have just ordered takeaway...but then again...for some reason, the urge to eat and gorge is not there as much as when I'm alone. So for dinner, I had an orange first, followed by salad and then a bowl of green bean soup. (Made with Mummy Angie's wonderful soup pot) Dinner alone seem to have evolved into a situation that I'm just eating to live. The urge to live to eat has somewhat diminished....But not complaining.....Can lose weight that way...

So what's the difference between live to eat and eat to live...The words are just scrambled the other way round.....Whenever I can't finish my food or when I chose to eat less carbo, I tend to feel guilty. I remember once living in Gold Coast and having dinner by myself. As usual I can't finish my food and I was watching TV while having dinner. There was a TV ad on donating to the poor kids in Africa. There was this line that I remember even after 10 years, 'The poor kids in Africa have nothing to eat that they eat poison berries.' I felt really guilty throwing out my food. So here in our wonderful lives in wonderful places where we live that we eat ourselves silly....think of the poor kids that eat to live and not live to eat......Gee, I sound like an ad for unicef....

On a brighter note.....the weekend is coming. And I'm glad. It'll be a good time to relax and chill out with my friends. And I had a good chat with Sharon today. Miss her heaps! And heard Marcia is popping her newborn soon. Tried calling her but her phone was off. Miss my some of my ex-colleagues a lot.

11.30 am

Hong Kong

Happiness

Readers, not sure if you're going to be in treat or your eyes are just going to roll and moan and groan and say, 'Gosh.....is she in one of her philosophical mood again?...Damn!' Well, which ever route you people take....sit back read and just enjoy.

Babe, flew off about an hour or so ago. And I'm left with my thoughts again. I do enjoy having my ponder moments when I get let my notions and thoughts have a good run. I thought about happiness. Not sure if I mentioned this, but a student a few days ago remarked that money can buy everything. Had to correct her. But then again....after having time to think about it. What is true happiness and can money truly buy happiness? Honestly, I don't know.

What is happiness? Is there true happiness? Am I happy now? Is it just a state of mind? For a long time, my definition of happiness is simple. Happiness is a moment of simple joy. Happiness comes in moments. It comes and goes. Am I happy now? I'm not sure. I'm alone in Hong Kong. Working conditions are much better. I'm less stressed. Actually, I'm hardly stressed at all. I'm away from Babe. Well, Babe is coming in about 3 weeks' time. I am content with life not happy. Then does happiness equates to contentment? Personally, I don't like the word contentment. To me, contentment, leads to laziness! Okie, I know, this might be a strange thought. I find that when I am contented with life, I turn lazy. To me, life is good and so, I slow down and get stagnated in life. Therefore, I don't like the 'theory of contentment'. In a way, I am very driven by what I can achieve in life. I'm not talking about making more money and buying more material stuff but it's about me pushing on in life and finding what can enrich my life and that makes me happy.

That leads me to the next question, can money buy happiness? This is a very difficult question for me to answer. Actually, it can be a hilarious question for me and also for friends that know me. Whenever I feel down and sad, I need to buy some thing....The something can be very small and silly like something from the supermarket and even a candy to something really extravagant. I just need to buy something to have the rush of euphoria in me. Friends know that I buy without thinking and I've got heaps and heaps of things in my home that the price tags are still on. And the funny thing, after I buy something extravagant to make me happy, then I go into a situation that I regret and then worry about my credit card bill. Read the 'Shopholic' series of books and that's me.....So buying brings me on a roller coaster ride. Then I end up teaching more tuition classes so that I can make more money to buy more stuff to make me happy....Isn't this a warped sense of thinking? Thank God, I've mellowed...Actually, credit card bills thought me to mellow. When I look back, all my buying could have given a good life at Sydney last year. If only I had save...I would have been able to enjoy life in Sydney. But what happened....I ended up working as a check out chick at Woolies (Cashier....for those who are wondering), that taught me humility, I was working for this crazy manager who probably had less than high school education...who constantly yelled at me. And I also worked for the Richmond family. Daniel, my little kid, taught me lessons that money honestly cannot buy. He taught me patience and unconditional love. He's a little boy with autism. He's rather low functioning. Well, that's another story for another day. I'm turning 32 and I truly understand what Dad means by, 'It's not the amount of money you make every month. It's the amount that you save.'

So at the end of my long post, is there such a thing as happiness? I think so. But one has to sit still, be silent and then feel and hear the moments of happiness. Can money buy happiness? That question, I would love to answer no....But at this point of time in my life, a certain amount of money can buy me some happiness. Whenever Babe pisses me off, he always find a way to buy me back....It could be a nice dinner or some nice present. And it's that I realized that sadly, in some ways, money can buy me a little happiness. Hopefully, over the years and time, I can say it loud and clear that I don't need money to have happiness

10 pm

Hong Kong

Hubby Here

Babe and me on Star Ferry coming back from TST after lunch. We went to church this morning as TST. We're church shopping. But don't think that church is going to work out for us. Everything seemed fine in church till it was time for the Lord's Supper. Well, it was the first time in my life that we experienced this form of Lord's Supper. We told to come up to pinch off some bread from the loaf and then dip it into the bowl of juice. I was a little dumbfounded. I was thinking, this is the Lord's Supper not bread in curry, you know. After service, I prayed that God will give me the spirit of discernment. And I believe that the church that we visited is not the one for us. Will probably go back to TST Baptist Church next week. Only issue, service is at 8.30 am. Have to wake up early. Wk and me went to a really nice restaurant for dinner last night...Nice romantic Italian restaurant at Lan Kwai Fong. Wk will be here till Tues and then off to Spore till he comes back on 15th Oct.

10.20 pm

Hong Kong

My Fears

I'm beginning to enjoy going to the gym. Whenever I'm at the gym, I take time to go through my thoughts and the solitude is really great. I was thinking through my fears. What are my biggest fears?

Through the years, I've conquered the fear of cockroaches, ants and basically most household pest. Well, when one lives alone periodically, one has to overcome those fears! I remember when I was living in Sydney, a flying cockroach flew into my studio. I had to think of all means and ways to kill that bugger before I could go to sleep. Looking back, it is funny now. And yes, I'm also not afraid of cats anymore! But I still don't like them.

To be really honest, I don't really have many fears. Only three of them. Losing my mind. the process of growing old and getting as big as a bus. These are my top of the list. They are on equal par. I'm really afraid of losing my mind as in losing my memory. I'm not want that loves the camera. Therefore, I don't take as much pictures as most people. But over time, I'm beginning to take more pictures. Especially people around me and happy moments. I took pictures of grandma because I know that she won't be long for very long and I want to remember how she looks. My brain contains so much memories. Happy memories. Times I spent with people who are no longer around, times I spent with WK when we were courting. Therefore losing my memory and not remembering things, events and experiences scare me. Most of my friends know me as the one with elephant's memory and I want to keep it that way.

My other fear, process of growing old. To make things clear, I'm not afraid of death and dying as I know that it's time to go home. Home to see Grandpa, Adrian, Derrick and people that have gone home before me. I'm actually looking forward to it. What I don't like is the process of me growing old and aging. I hate getting old and wrinkled and then getting sick, and then being dependent on others while I wait for my time. Friends that know me, would probably know that I'm pretty fanatic about my skincare regime. Not that I've got great skin....I've got pores as huge as port holes! But rather, I have a strict skincare regime so that I won't have wrinkles. Wrinkles scare me. When I'm forty, I'm going to see a plastic surgeon to stretch me out! I remember Jackie once looking closely at Joanne and then turn to me and looking. I asked her, what was she looking at? She replied saying, oh, Joanne has laugh lines, and you don't. And I'm like, hell I better not have any lines! And Joanne burst out laughing saying, ya, you think she'll let wrinkles appear on her face? I remember when I was turning 30, I almost freaked out. But then I decided to have a party to celebrate my 30 years of existence with my close and special friends. But after that, birthdays scare me again......

My last fear....getting as big or as large as a bus! I have to admit, I have some weight issues. I'm not anorexic or bulimic, sometimes, I do wish I'm anorexic though. I have a tendency to eat too much and then I'll balloon to be huge. I love my food too much. Each time I see a real huge lady, I get the shivers, what if I end up like her. I hate going to the gym, but what choice do I have? I'll grow really large....I remember telling Mazzy once that if I do get as large as a bus, bring me to the top of the building and tell me that life is not worth anymore as I'm so huge!

And yes, I admit that I'm really shallow. Reading what I just wrote, it does sound like I'm a shallow person. Some might think, why am I not afraid of losing my family, or losing things that are important to me. I have thought about it. If WK were to pass on before me, sure I'll be sad for a while, but I'll be happy for him as he has gone home with the Lord. If I lose all my fortune, which, I don't have much, it wouldn't matter to me as I know that the Almighty will provide me. And what's truly important to me? I really can't think of something that's really important to me. So in other words, there's nothing much that I'm truly afraid of.

Moving on, I'm actually proud of myself today. Went to the gym for about an hour. Came home, cooked my dinner, showered and then had my dinner. After dinner, this is the bit that I'm proud of myself. Well, I changed the sheets. This morning before going to work, I took off the sheets and the duvet cover and sent them to the laundry. Hubby coming, need clean sheets. So clean sheets came back and I placed the sheets on the bed and put on the duvet cover. It is hard work trying to lift up the mattress and also trying to figure out how to put on the stupid duvet cover on the duvey. By the time, I finish doing that, I was already sweating! And yes, I've only one set of sheets and duvet cover. And thanks to ex-colleagues at WDP that I have them! And that's not the end, folded the laundry and then I cleared my messy dining table that became my dumping ground. Finally, I cleaned the floor! So there.....I can't believe that I did all that. I hate doing housework more than anything else in the world...But for my cutie....Yes, it is all worth it! Babe, coming in tomorrow!!!! Will see him in less than 24 hours!!!!

10. 05 pm

Hong Kong

Overnight

I remember reading a post on Stan's blog on overnight. He wrote about things happening overnight and at that time, a mutual friend of ours went to home to heaven. This morning I woke up to something that happened overnight.

The moment I wake up every morning, I turn on the telly and then wash up and get dressed while the telly is on. I tune on to Channelnewsasia to catch up with news. This morning came as a rude shock, there was a coup in Thailand. I love visiting Thailand. I visit Thailand once a year either to Bangkok or Phuket. It's a great place. I remember visiting Bangkok last year. At that time, I haven't visited Bangkok for about 2 years. After my holiday, I remember talking to a Thai friend mentioning that wow, Thaksin seem to have done a lot for Bangkok as seem to look a lot nicer and infrastructure seems a lot better too. She laughed when I said that. She told me that Thai people do not see things that way. That brought me to realize that when we're not in that situation, obviously we see things in a different way. And then, there's the political turmoil in Taiwan. Hmmm...not that I'm into politics but things like these sometimes get to me.

Left work early as I had to get to a workshop. As usual workshops bore me. But it's always nice to see friends, renew ties to friends and also to make new friends. Tonight, this is the first time that I'm actually doing work at home. Well, this week and next week is going to be tight for me as WK will be arriving this weekend and I've got 3 booklets to prepare by next Thursday. So, now, it's time to start working overtime.

11.35 pm

Hong Kong

WK Moving to HK

Finally, it's confirmed! WK received his job offer letter today and he's going to tender his resignation letter tomorrow. Ya!!! He'll be in HK this Friday and on 15th Oct, he'll be moving to HK. I'm really excited about it. Can't wait for him to make the move!

We're starting our lives in HK. This is all new and I'm looking forward to starting our lives here. It'll be good to share the working and living abroad experience with my hubby, my best friend and my soulmate. At the back of my head, I'm just thinking, with WK moving to HK as well, I really wonder how long will we stay here. My initial plan was to stay here for 2 years and now with WK's move, we may be here longer than expected. At this point of time, I'm still enjoying HK. I'm still in the honeymoon period. I believe that work makes a difference. Work is not as stressful as before and thus life is a lot more enjoyable. I'm able to take time out to enjoy my life and sleep lots better as well. I'm actually thinking of going back to uni again to study. But no, I should really take at least one year to rest and relax and then decide later.

9.30 pm

Hong Kong

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

I went to church this morning. Yes, finally, went to church. Church service was at 8.30 am. Real early. The sermon today was on 'Integrity'. The preacher shared on Job and how through it all, he held on to his integrity and and didn't wavered on his trust, faith and hope in God.

At this point of time in my life, everything is going somewhat well. For the first time in my life for a long time, everything seem to be going fine. Job is great, money is not as tight as before, hubby is coming over to HK to work and things seem to be going well. Comparing this to what was going on just last year, the same time, my life was in constant worry. I was always worried about not having enough money last year, my assignments, making sure that I'll pass and even this year. Early this year, I was struggling to pay my study loans, teach more tuition classes to make more money and the workload I was having at work. Then Aug came, and now in September, things seem to be turning out fine. This is not right. I don't seem to be worried and edgy about things. I even have time to go to the gym and have time to hang out with my friends. And when I think about it, wow, this is strange. Of course, I'm thankful for everything that God has provided and how well everything is turning out to be. However, at the back of my head, I'm just thinking, is this my false sense of peace, security and that something terrible is going to happen soon? Am I then giving in to Satan's temptations and questioning God's blessings for me?

No, I'm not going to let that happen. I'm going to sit back and enjoy God's goodness and at the same time, thank Him for everything that He has provided for me. I'm truly thankful for everything so far.

Grandma

I went to visit grandma today. The journey took about 3 and half hours from home. I had to get to the airport first and from there catch a coach to the customs at Huangguan, From Huangguan, I was transferred to a car. This pic was taken while I was on the highway. Think it was near Shenzhen. Fell in and out of sleep as I was getting there.





Finally, I got there. Was outside grandma's house for a while trying to get in. Knocked a couple of times and she didn't open the door. And then someone told me to go around her house and yell for her. Yelled, and grandma came and opened the door. I was a little too early and she was still preparing lunch for me. While she was preparing lunch for me, I walked around the house and took a couple of pictures of the house. In July, grandma's house was flooded.

Thank God at that time, she was in Shanghai. When I heard the news, I was sad for her. I remember visiting her in Dec 2004, she showed me pictures of grandpa and her in London and some other pictures. I was worried and thought that the flood has have destroyed everything. Thank God that the flood, was not high enough to damage grandpa's portrait. If you look at the pictures carefully, you can see the watermark. The flood was about 1m high. The first time that I went to visit her, I thought that grandma's home looked really like the home that she had in Spore. She made it look like the home that I grew up in Serangoon Gardens.

She told me that after the flood subsided, her relatives came and helped her to clean up the mess. Very thankful for them. Grandma cooked a real delicious lunch for me. Brought back lots of childhood memories. As kids we used to visit her every Sunday and she'll cook for us. As kids and even now, we have a special way of calling her grandma, a special intonation which was known only to Joanne, Jackie, me and now hubby. After lunch, we took time to chat and then we went out for a stroll to have a look around.


Took this picture outside grandma's house. This shopping mall is meant to be the biggest in her province. I remember the first time I went there, I thought...Is that Russian or a huge typo error? Grandma lives in Liao Bu in Dongguan. It's a little province. This time, I didn't have time to walk around and take more pictures of the house that grandma grew up in. This is the province that she was born and she grew up here till she left for Spore in her early teens. After grandpa died, she bought her house. I guess to a certain extent, she always wanted to come back to her hometown. About 4 years ago, she decided that
wanted to return to her hometown and that's where she has been since. Except for the couple of months that she was in Shanghai. Mum was adopted and yet, grandma loved us like her own. Out of us girls, only I can speak enough of Cantonese to communicate with her. Each time, I visit her, I come home knowing her a little better. When I heard that Elizabeth Choy passed on on Wednesday, it made me all the more to want to visit grandma. I want to see her while I still have the chance and on top of it, she's only 3 and half hours away from me. Last night during dinner, Michelle said that it's hard for her to believe in love that lasts a long time.
I asked grandma once if her marriage was an arranged one. She looked at me and laughed. She told me that grandpa and her fell in love. It was so sweet. Grandpa went home with the Lord in 1984. I was 1o then. As far as my memories can bring me back, I remembered grandpa and grandma having a good relationship. They'll go for vacation every year to a different country. I remember the day that grandpa went home. We visited them in the afternoon and when we went home, while mum was preparing dinner, phone call came. And grandpa went home. During dinner tonight, I chatted with grandma. To my best ability, I try to check out if she knew where she was after she passes on. I wanted her to be sure of her salvation. She seemed pretty sure and she told me that she was ready to go home. But I told her that her time is probably not up yet and that she still has things to do on earth.

I left about 6.40 after dinner. Spent about 6 hours with grandma. The last time I left, tears were streaming down as I rode on the bike to the hotel to catch the bus. I didn't know when will I see her again. And this time, I went off feeling lots better. I know that I'll be back to see her soon again and this time, I'll bring hubby. And I also know that she's sure of her salvation and that's even more important for me. Grandma, I love you!!!

12.30 am

Hong Kong

Locked Out!!!

Day started as usual...Nothing special. I was meant to meet Michelle at 5.30 pm at Tsim Sha Tsui MTR to meet the other NETS for drinks. So I left home at 4.45 to get to 7-11 to get re-charge for my mobile phone. Got to 7-11 and told the lady what I needed. Just before she punched into the cashier, I dug into my bag for my purse. Digging and looking, I went, shit, no purse. And I told her, I'll be back later. And it was when I was out of 7-11 and I realized, fuck! My keys are in my purse! Can't get into my apartment. And then, I realized that I can't get into my estate as well because my resident's card in also in my purse. I had a moment of sheer panic! There I was standing outside the gate and I called Simon and told him what happened. He lives in my estate too. He told me to call my landlord, and I replied that my landlord actually lives in Spore. Then he said, speak to the concierge, he'll know what to do. At that someone was getting into the estate and I manage to get in. I got to my block and spoke to the concierge. He gave me a number and I called the locksmith. Thank God, he's also on the island so I didn't have to wait long.

He arrived and we went up to my apartment. He took quite a while to pick my lock. While I was standing there, I had some thoughts running through my head. I was thinking, gee, you're not that a great lock picker, you're taking such a long time. Then another notion crept in, ok, if he's taking such a long time, that means that the lock is pretty hard to pick and so it must be a good lock. And thoughts kept running through my head. At one point, I had to stop the brain from talking, I'm going crazy!!! About 30 mins later, he started to pack his tools, and I'm like what?? Don't expect me to pay you, door still not open! Then he took out this huge card and he tried to slide it up and down and he went on for a couple of mins and then viola...door opened! It was a relief. And I had to pay him HK$150 about SIN$30, I was like...Shit! That $150 could have bought me another shirt, fill up my Octopus card, a pair of shoes or I could have gotten something!!!

Anyway, came in, grabbed my purse and went off to meet Michelle and thereafter, helped her to move. Drama over....anyway, thank God everything is fine now. Going to visit grandma tomorrow. Spending a day with her. Pretty excited about it. Haven't seen her for more than 18 months

12.40 am

Hong Kong

A Month and A Day in Hong Kong

It has been a month and a day since I've arrived in Hong Kong. Things have been good so far. Actually, something happened at about 7.50+pm. I was sitting in my lounge room watching TV. Then I felt tremors...And I thought to myself, 'Boy, a bloody huge plane must be flying over my block'. Then when I went online, I realised that there was really a mini earthquake....For the few seconds I thought...Gosh...hope that the building wouldn't just collapse!

Anyway, back to me living in Hong Kong. I guess at this point of time, I'm still in my honeymoon stage with Hong Kong. The experiences that I have so far have been rather positive and there's really nothing to complain about. No, I do have a complain...Wish they have more restaurants that have English menus! Almost everyday, my boss helps me to order lunch because I can't figure out what to eat. Not that I don't know what to eat...I always know what I want to eat but rather, I can't read the menu and I can't express myself to the restaurant well enough. My boss is nice enough to ask me what I'm going to have for lunch everyday.

Watching Channel News Asia now...Yes, friends in Spore, I have Channel News Asia. Need to keep up with the news at home! Just found out that Elizabeth Choy passed away. My heart sank a little. God bless her soul, she's happy home with the Lord now. Dad used to tell us stories about her all the time when we were young. She used to teach him when he was in St Andrews Primary School. When I became a teacher Dad was very happy because of her. And then stories of Elizabeth Choy started again. In his point of view and I believe in most people's point of views, she was a great teacher. Dad and his brothers would trade stories about Elizabeth Choy. Then when my sisters got into the education business as well. Dad was even happier... I have tonnes of respect for her. Imagine the impacts that she made on her primary school students that till now, men of fifties and sixties still remember her. I wonder what sort of impacts have I left on my students. I do hope that they are positive ones.

I'm getting happier as the days pass. WK is flying in next Friday. The company that is going to hire him is working out stuff with him and things should be firm up by next Monday. God has been good, very good.....I'm very thankful.

10.15 am

Hong Kong

Altruism or Being Selfish

altruism noun willingness to do things which benefit other people, even if it results in disadvantage for yourself:

selfish adjective DISAPPROVINGSomeone who is selfish only thinks of their own advantage:

Taken from Cambridge Dictionaries

Was at the gym today. Trying hardest to work out and lose some inches. While on the ski machine, I looked through the window and saw some kids playing at the playground. This may come as a surprise to many. I remembered as a kid during an oral exam, I was asked, what do I want to be when I grow up. Think I must have been around 12 or 13. I told the teacher that I wanted to be a mother of 2 or 3 kids. She stared at me...eyes almost popping out....How things have changed. Twenty years later, do I have any desire to have kids at this point of time? Well, in a way I do. I want to adopt a child. And truthfully, I wonder if the desire to adopt a child is truly altruistic. I've always thought of adopting since we got married. Not that we can't have kids. Well, we never bothered to try for kids at all....If anyone is wondering. I remembered visiting grandma about 2 years ago. She brought me to an old folks' home to have a look. There I saw this cute little girl. Real cute and she had a large bump or lump on the side of her face. Grandma asked a couple of questions and from what I understood, the girl was left at the door of the old folks' home because she was born defective...That brought up the desire to want to adopt. When I tell people that I want to adopt, people always ask or assume why can't I have my own. Most tell me that I should at least try before adopting. But then what makes the adopted child to be? Firstly, adopted child probably had parents who can't afford therefore gave it up for adoption or the child doesn't have parents. As it is, the child is somewhat not really wanted. Now, imagine, that the child is already not really wanted and then gets adopted into a family that really wanted a child of their own and then maybe along the way, parents can concieve and have a child of their own...so how would the child feel?

Well, altrusim....why do I want to adopt? I want to save a child from poverty....But then again...is it for my selfish reasons? Is it a way for me to adopt and have a mini me....my own little behavioural experiment? Why do I really want a kid for? Or why don't be altruistic and make my mum and mother in law happy and have my own kid? Wonder if there's a fine line between being altruistic and selfish?
Why don't I have a kid? I don't want a kid because I'm selfish. There, you have it, my truthful and honest answer. WK and I are happy the way we are at this point of time. We love the lifestyle that we lead now and basically, we don't a child to rock our boat. Or is it the fact that I've been working with kids that I don't want a kid. Or maybe for the fact that I've studied Special Education that I get worried that I might have a kid that has special needs...So isn't that selfish of me? I remembered Aunty Sue said this to me, Don't have a kid unless you are able to give love unconditionally....We took 10 years to get married....Well, maybe we might need another 10 years before we really decide to have a kid. By then, I should get my thoughts sorted out....being selfish or altruistic. My two cents' of philosophy thoughts here....


Well, good news....WK got the job offer today! Thank God for it! They even gave him more than what we expected. This is so exciting. WK is going to talk to them more and figure out when he's going to move to HK. I'm so happy for him! He's coming in 9 days' time.

Microwaved Lunch

Went to work and brought my leftover dinner for lunch. During lunch, I went to the pantry area to heat up my lunch. There was a lady that was cleaning up the microwave ovens. There's about 5 microwave ovens there. Haven't seen so many microwave ovens in one place before, other than the stores. This nice lady apologized for not heating up my food. I was pleasantly surprised. And she told me that she didn't heat up my food because I didn't put my lunchbox on the 'to be heated shelves' in the fridge. I'm like wow.....this school really cares for their staff. They even make sure that your lunch get heated just before lunchtime!

Next pleasant surprise. While I was marking some papers, a teacher came up to me and introduced herself. Hate to say this, but I can't remember her name. Well, she told me that she has to collect some money from me, it's like for staff welfare. I said fine and asked how much, she said HK$50. Well, that's like SIN$10. And that's all? I remembered the last time I paid for staff welfare in WDP was like SIN$60 or something like that.... Hmmm.....wonder where did the SIN$50 went....

Went to the gym today again. I'm making a huge effort to make it to the gym at least thrice a week. It's not easy. Each time I'm walking on the treadmill, I tell myself....Clothes...Clothes... need to get new clothes...need to lose weight...must fit into a large size.....Clothes....Clothes...need to lose weight....well, I'm not really into losing weight...I just want to buy clothes!!! And that's all, is that too much to ask???

9.30 pm

Hong Kong

Parents' Day and Amber rain???

I woke up today and went to the mall in Tsingyi looking for a jacket to wear for parents' day today. I was talking to Simon yesterday about dressing up for parents' day. In my mind, I had the impression that since it was a saturday, I was thinking of dressing down. But Simon looked at me and said that he turned up in a suit for parents' day during his first year in the school. And I was like....ok...time to look for a jacket. So off to Tsingyi this morning....found nothing...all too small, then off to Tung Chung, another mall, and it came to a point that I would just walk into a shop and asked if they have a jacket that's my size. And well....my fears are confirmed...I'm too fat in HK! Even the XL can't fit me!!! So more time for gym...Came home and with a box of jap food instead! So have to make do. Wore a skirt and my tailored shirt. Guess, I looked formal enough.

Went to school and guess what, it started to rain...Damn! I'm all dressed up and carrying my nice Fendi bag and it's raining...But the walk is just 5 mins away so arrived in school relatively dry. Sat through the first session. The session for P 1 parents. Was asked to introduced to the parents and I said 2 lines. Next session started and again I was introduced and again I said 2 lines. So I was in school from 1.30 to 4.30 just to say 4 lines in all....

Came home and then at the lobby, the concierge put up a sign saying that the amber rain signal has been hoisted. I'm like what on earth is an amber rain??? Came home called Colleen to check on tonight's plan...and we had a good laugh about amber rain. I was half expecting orange skies or orange rain drops, or something amber...But well, no amber in sight. Anyway, Colleen couldn't make it out so it was just Michelle and me.

We met up at Tsim Sha Tsui. Walked around and we settled for Jap. We met up last night for dinner with Colleen and Martina as well. But guess, we're the lonely ones that live alone and so we met up for dinner again. After dinner we walked around again before having dessert. The gelati was yum....Nice evening. And am proud of myself for not buying stuff. But I caught a cab to Tsingyi to come home and when I got off the cab, I was like damn....that HK$100 could have bought me 3 lunches or a shirt or something! Damn...shouldn't have taken the cab...Oh well, wanted to come back to chat with WK anyway. And yes, WK is going to try to make another trip to see me...Ya! But he'll confirm everything with me by next fri.

12.15 am

Hong Kong

Teaching Kids

Today has been a great day. I taught 2 classes of Primary 5. It has been great fun. I started with 5E. This class is great. With all the classes, I co-teach with a local teachers. In the beginning, I was a little hesitant and worried about teaching the kids. Was a little concern if the kids will get used to me. After all, Simon taught them for 3 years.

This is Simon, he's going to be in the school for another to help me ease into the school. The kids love him too. Some kids actually asked what will happen to him since I'm going to be teaching them from now onwards. Hopefully, I'm going to be as impactful as he has been to the kids.


This is my second class of Primary 5, 5C. For the both classes, we did the story, 'Who will be my Mother?' I love this story. But honestly, think this story might be a little simple for the kids. However, I like this story because I can infuse critical thinking into this lesson. A kid actually asked me, how can a boy be the mother of the lamb? I taught it was good as she was brave enough to ask the question. And that was what I really wanted from the kids.



The cute kids from my class. Even the classrooms are different from Spore. They use blackboards in the classroom. Something that I've not seen in many years, since when I was in primary school! I asked another net from another school and she reckons that blackboards are actually better for the eyes. Not sure about that, but I don't like the feel of a chalk...Think it's going to be a prob....


The kids discussing and working very hard for their Readers' Theatre. I haven't been in such a noisy class for a long time! I getting a little concern with the noise level. This is especially that the teacher that was co-teaching with me is the assistant head mistress. In other words, the vice-principal. After class, I spoke to her and her response was that as long as they are benefiting from my class and happy, that's all that matters! I was flabbergasted! Didn't expect that answer. And she went on saying that it was a good class.


The kids giving their presentation. It was great! I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I did some reflections last night after having the first class with the kids and tried to make sure that I didn't make the same mistakes as the first class.

This is Simon. He has been such a great help. Will miss him when he goes back to his school. He really takes time with the kids. Almost everyday after school, while the kids wait to board the school bus, he takes time to sit down with a kid that's isolated from the kids. Apparently, the kid is just a tad naughty and Simon takes time to chat with him and listen to him. He really loves the kids.

On a separate note, I went to the gym today. Finally, to the gym after more than 18 months of missing gym....Boy, it was good but think I'm getting old, bones and muscles aching! Bad news, not going home at the end of Sept after all. Took too a long time to book the tickets and the prices of the tickets sky rocketed...Damn...oh well, things happen...Will miss my babe more.

10. 15 pm

Hong Kong

First Day Teaching the Kids

After 3 days of waiting in anticipation, I finally taught the kids today. It was a primary 4 class. My first time teaching in a HK school. It was great! Shared the story, 'Who Will Be My Mother', with them. The kids were very responsive. Simon was very helpful. He was there supporting me. The kids participated and readily answered my questions. It was a very different experience. I co-taught the class with a local teacher. I did most of the teaching and she gave instructions to the kids and took care of the discipline. But honestly, the kids were very well behaved. Maybe, this is just the beginning. Tomorrow, I'll be teaching 2 classes of primary 5. Will be sharing the same story with them. Can't wait. Haven't felt so happy teaching for such a long time!

11.00 pm

Hong Kong

Lonely...I'm so lonely...I'm so lonely on my own.....

Last night WK went back to Spore and tonight Jackie went back as well. The home suddenly seem so quiet.....It's feels kinda odd. And I'm now alone. To be honest, I'm not very lonely. I enjoy the solitude. Which is strange as I am an extrovert and all my friends would probably agree that I'm an extrovert as well. But I do enjoy my moments of solitude a lot as well. It is the same as when I was living in Sydney that I enjoy living alone. When I went to Sydney to study last year, even though money was tight, I still chose to live alone. I like my peace and serenity. I would rather cut back on everything and live alone. It is the same living in Hong Kong now. I guess I'm one of those strange extrovert that value my quietness a lot as well.

Met an old friend tonight for dinner. Someone that I've not seen for 9 years. Can you believe it? 9 years! Gary works in Ireland now and he came back on a business trip to HK and it so great that we had time to meet up with each other. I used to hang out with Gary a lot when I was studying in Gold Coast. We used to work in the same restaurant and also went to the same uni. We worked, studied and partied together. One of the best places that I worked was Imperial Palace. It was a freaking blast working there! Going to work was like going to hang out with friends. We had a good time catching up and also talking about the good old days. Both of us agreed that the times in uni was probably one of the best times we had in our lives. It is also hard to catch up and meet up with friends from uni especially when I was an international student. Most of my friends in uni were like me, international students and some aussies as well. When we left uni, it was as if a part of our life being taken away from us. It was hard. Like Gary said, it was depressing when we returned to our home country. It took me some time to re-establish my social circle again, close to a year or 2. I remembered that when I first went back to Spore, two of my best friends, Stanley and Lina were still in Australia. It was such a hard time as my social circle only consists of WK. But well, things are better now. Love my friends at my old workplace, love my church friends and Pat as well, my friend from NIE. So, there you go...I've got friends again. Plus now, new friends in HK. Meeting the girls from the NET program for dinner on Friday. Can't wait!

12.00 am

Hong Kong

Wk Back to Spore

Just came back from the airport. Wk has left to go back to Spore. Sure, I miss him but life goes on. I know that most people do not kinda agree that we lead this sort of lifestyle. However, honestly, I do like this lifestyle. I do feel that being apart from each other tends to make us appreciate the short time we have with each other whenever we see each other. As the saying goes, absence makes the hearts grow fonder. I totally agree with this saying. The 1o days that we spent with each other were great. We had a wonderful time together. Anyway, I'll be seeing him in about 3 weeks' time. Can't wait to see him again! Wk went for his second interview today. Things seems to be looking up. Thank God for it. We'll wait upon God to see His will for us.

Work has been great so far. Well, still haven't got a chance to teach the kids yet. The students have half days for 3 days for class teachers to do admin work. I've been in school doing planning for my lessons. Had an hour meeting with the primary 5 teachers to discuss about lessons. From primary 4 to 6 classes, I see each class about once a fortnight. I'm basically teaching reading workshops. The students do 2 storybooks a term and I am in charge of teaching these storybooks. I find it almost like teaching literature class in a secondary school. I do hope to make little impacts on their lives even though I see so little of each class.


8.30 pm

Hong Kong

Crowded Hong Kong

Back from the city. As requested by Yati, some pics today. Went to Ikea today. Needed to get more stuff for my home. Got to Ikea and Wk commented that the Ikea in HK is just as crowded as the one in Spore. The strange thing about this Ikea, it is in Causeway Bay, which is like Orchard Road in Spore's context, and also the store is actually in the 2 levels of the basement of a hotel. Guess, this is what happens when space becomes a constraint. For once, Wk did not say anything about me getting anything. My guess is that he was too tired from looking at the crowd. I got more stuff so that I can get everything delivered to my place. Couldn't deal with carrying the stuff on the ferry and back home.


This is how Wk looked after shopping at Ikea. We stopped at a restaurant for lunch. He was so tired to the point that he looked a little off! After eating, we went on walking around Causeway Bay. Boy, it was really crowded. There were masses and masses of people everywhere. At one point, I felt a little claustrophobic. And this is when I knew we had to leave Causeway.






While we were waiting for a cab to go to another mall, I took this pic. Look at the hordes and hordes of people. It is just amazing. I was reminded today by a friend that HK has twice the number of people than Spore. This must be the result of it. People in HK love and love to shop. Got to IFC mall and then we realized that we were too tired to hang around in the city till dinner so time to get to the pier to get home.




The ferry pier at Central. This is where I get the ferry to get back home. Got onto the ferry and promptly fell asleep. Got up way too early this morning.

7.25 pm

Hong Kong

Song Ringing in My Head

I got up in the morning to pee and went back to bed. For some reason, a song kept ringing in my head. It went on and on and finally, I've got to get up. And it's only like 7 in the morning. Well, it didn't help with Wk's snoring as well. The song that rang in my head, actually, it is still ringing in my head is a song that I remember from my late teen years. Well, this is the song.

Words: Deborah D. Smith
Music: Michael W. Smith

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

Well, I used to love this song heaps. And I guess this morning, I really love this song. This song means a lot to me. In many ways, God has always provided me with friends. For starters, I got married to my best friend. My absolute best friend in the whole, wide world. My sisters are my best friends. I call and rant and rave at them when I'm pissed with the world. Can't believe that they can deal with my ranting and raving. Then, I've got Eve, Lina and Stanley, my best friends in no particular order....in alpha order...Not sure how they deal with my craziness....and as according to Eve,' Faith, no one can really beat your craziness!' Think, I strive on being crazy...

I know that I've written in my blog before on how God has been good to me in providing me with friends. But I'm still going to write on it. God has been really real in providing friends to me. This is especially true whenever I'm away from Singapore. Friends become family. I'm not one with quantity of friends but I rather have quality friends. And my friends that are close to my heart have been well, my friends. Thanks friends for being there. To all my friends, I miss you guys heaps and heaps...This is my tribute to you. Friends, even though we may live in different countries, you're still my friends. Distance and time doesn't matter, the heart does. It's always hard not to see you guys, to share funny bits of my life with you, but I dwell on the fact that you'll always be my friends. There are some friends that I miss even more as I don't ever know when I'm going to see them. Yes, Eve, it's you. Miss you even more. When on earth are you coming to see me?

Okay folks, that's enough of writing on an early morning. Jackie arrived. Gee, she lost heaps of weight. Nice seeing sis again. Had dinner and chatted. Hoping to go to the Peak tonight...Heard its romantic there....

7.30 am

Hong Kong

Buy, buy, buy

Just got my salary yesterday and I started shopping......Yes, penny pinching days are over!!! Errr....just for 2 days..and then back to penny pinching days. Buying started yesterday.

List of things that I bought
1) Pair of trainers (need the shoes for gym)
2) Sports bra (need the support)
3) sports shirt (for gym)
4) working shoes (for work)
5) top from Espirit (for work)
6) towel (need it for showers)
7) rice cooker (one has to eat)
8) camper shoes (for work and going out)
9) Polo Shirt (being wanting to get that forever...love the huge horse)

That's all....But every item that I bought has a purpose right? So, guess the shopping for the 2 days is fine...Oh gee....who am I kidding? I promise, starting from next week, I'll be good! Will start to penny pinch...every cent counts.....need to pay off my loan asap!

On a separate note, WK has been really good. When I left for work, WK was sleeping. He was telling me that he'll clean the house today when we were watching telly last night. I looked at him incredulously and said, ya right!. Oh well, babe has been really good. Came home from work and the apartment was spotless! He mopped the floor and did the laundry and even packed the clothes that has to be sent to the laundry into bags. I was gobsmacked!

Work today...couldn't be any better. Went to work at 8.15 am and was back by 1.30 pm. Well, I basically said 2 sentences to the kids, had breakfast, chatted to my head and then sat at my table to do some planning and then, it was time to go home....Life couldn't be any better!!!

Jackie is arriving in about an hour. Going to meet her at the train station. Nice to see little sis again.

And good news....The company that WK went for an interview, came back and want to see him again. Praying that things will work out for us. Leaving things into the hands of God. After all these years, I"m still learning to rely on the Almighty.

7.10 pm

Hong Kong