Happiness

Readers, not sure if you're going to be in treat or your eyes are just going to roll and moan and groan and say, 'Gosh.....is she in one of her philosophical mood again?...Damn!' Well, which ever route you people take....sit back read and just enjoy.

Babe, flew off about an hour or so ago. And I'm left with my thoughts again. I do enjoy having my ponder moments when I get let my notions and thoughts have a good run. I thought about happiness. Not sure if I mentioned this, but a student a few days ago remarked that money can buy everything. Had to correct her. But then again....after having time to think about it. What is true happiness and can money truly buy happiness? Honestly, I don't know.

What is happiness? Is there true happiness? Am I happy now? Is it just a state of mind? For a long time, my definition of happiness is simple. Happiness is a moment of simple joy. Happiness comes in moments. It comes and goes. Am I happy now? I'm not sure. I'm alone in Hong Kong. Working conditions are much better. I'm less stressed. Actually, I'm hardly stressed at all. I'm away from Babe. Well, Babe is coming in about 3 weeks' time. I am content with life not happy. Then does happiness equates to contentment? Personally, I don't like the word contentment. To me, contentment, leads to laziness! Okie, I know, this might be a strange thought. I find that when I am contented with life, I turn lazy. To me, life is good and so, I slow down and get stagnated in life. Therefore, I don't like the 'theory of contentment'. In a way, I am very driven by what I can achieve in life. I'm not talking about making more money and buying more material stuff but it's about me pushing on in life and finding what can enrich my life and that makes me happy.

That leads me to the next question, can money buy happiness? This is a very difficult question for me to answer. Actually, it can be a hilarious question for me and also for friends that know me. Whenever I feel down and sad, I need to buy some thing....The something can be very small and silly like something from the supermarket and even a candy to something really extravagant. I just need to buy something to have the rush of euphoria in me. Friends know that I buy without thinking and I've got heaps and heaps of things in my home that the price tags are still on. And the funny thing, after I buy something extravagant to make me happy, then I go into a situation that I regret and then worry about my credit card bill. Read the 'Shopholic' series of books and that's me.....So buying brings me on a roller coaster ride. Then I end up teaching more tuition classes so that I can make more money to buy more stuff to make me happy....Isn't this a warped sense of thinking? Thank God, I've mellowed...Actually, credit card bills thought me to mellow. When I look back, all my buying could have given a good life at Sydney last year. If only I had save...I would have been able to enjoy life in Sydney. But what happened....I ended up working as a check out chick at Woolies (Cashier....for those who are wondering), that taught me humility, I was working for this crazy manager who probably had less than high school education...who constantly yelled at me. And I also worked for the Richmond family. Daniel, my little kid, taught me lessons that money honestly cannot buy. He taught me patience and unconditional love. He's a little boy with autism. He's rather low functioning. Well, that's another story for another day. I'm turning 32 and I truly understand what Dad means by, 'It's not the amount of money you make every month. It's the amount that you save.'

So at the end of my long post, is there such a thing as happiness? I think so. But one has to sit still, be silent and then feel and hear the moments of happiness. Can money buy happiness? That question, I would love to answer no....But at this point of time in my life, a certain amount of money can buy me some happiness. Whenever Babe pisses me off, he always find a way to buy me back....It could be a nice dinner or some nice present. And it's that I realized that sadly, in some ways, money can buy me a little happiness. Hopefully, over the years and time, I can say it loud and clear that I don't need money to have happiness

10 pm

Hong Kong